The Distraction
by knightchaser
Summary: The distraction was simple, but when it fails Sakura has to think fast to come up with a different one. Problem is, Kakashi is the one distracted, not the targets. ** Romantic Comedy. SakuraxKakashi **
1. Chapter 1

The distraction was simple, but when it fails Sakura has to think fast to come up with a different distraction. Unfortunately, it distracts the wrong people. SakuraxKakashi

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto thought up Naruto.

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The Distraction

Sakura fidgeted. She was bored. Dressed in civilian clothing consisting of shorts and a thin white cotton short sleeve shirt she also felt uncomfortable. She could hardly wait to finish the mission so she could change back into her ninja clothes.

A breeze of hot air drifted through the night. Team Kakashi was currently in a casino town in the middle of the desert in Wind country. A hot, dry, sandy desert. So if it was a desert, where did all the water come from for all the fountains she had seen? The one in front of her, for example, was as big as a large pond and advertised 150 jets that forced the water out in beautiful displays of aquatic grace.

A large crowd had gathered for a dedication ceremony for the new fountain. During the dedication, the casino owner was going to be selling some stolen architectural plans to a broker. Team Kakashi's job was to retrieve the plans. It was a "C" rank mission, but due to a larger than normal turnout of candidates for the Chuunin exam there were no genin or chuunin available. So Kakashi's team ended up with the job. Sai had wanted to come along as well, so instead of a four person squad, they had five.

It had been decided that Sakura would cause a distraction by setting off some fireworks and Kakashi and Sai would monitor the movements of the target and when he was in place Naruto and Sasuke would interrupt the transaction and take back the stolen documents.

It was a simple plan. Neither the target nor the buyer were ninja. None of the guards hired for the event were ninja either. It was truly, as Tsunade had said, a mission they could do in their sleep.

So of course something went wrong.

Very wrong.

Hilariously wrong. Well, it would take a few weeks before they could laugh at it. But still…

Just as Sakura lit the rocket to create the diversion a professional fireworks display erupted across the sky. It was a surprise for the dedication that was, as it turned out, the only secret the otherwise talkative target was able to keep to himself.

Sakura's wireless radio came to life as Kakashi spoke "The diversion won't work, the target and buyer aren't reacting. Sakura, come up with a different diversion! Quick!"

Looking around, Sakura saw a lot of drunks in the crowd. It was a party after all, and the liquor was cheap. Swaying a little bit, Sakura started laughing and pushing her way through the crowd to the side of the fountain.

"Excuse me, cutie." She gave a group of men standing in front of her a big smile and grabbed one of them by the arm. "You're cute! I hope you think I'm cute too." She released him as soon as he gave her a big smile.

Climbing up on the three foot wall that was in front of the fountain she waved her arms in the air. "It's so pretty here!" Turning around she looked at the water. Her reflection looked back at her. Many heads had turned to watch the pretty, young, drunk woman. Including, unfortunately, Kakashi, Sai, Naruto and Sasuke.

She swayed a little bit on the two foot thick wall. Looking surreptitiously into the crowd she determined that she needed to get the attention of more people.

Fanning her face she yelled loudly "It's so hot out!" and lifted her shirt up over her stomach, but stopped before she got to her bra. Noting that she was now the center of attention she looked back at her reflection in the water. It rippled slightly as the breeze created small, lazy waves. Her pink hair, green eyes and dark blue shorts stood out, making her reflection look like it was floating comfortable in a pond. She suddenly got an idea.

Releasing her shirt she pointed at the water and yelled as loud as she could. "Hey! I'm in the water! And I'm drowning! I'll save you!" She jumped into the four foot deep water and started flailing around where her reflection had been a moment before.

"I'll save you too!" The man she had called "cute" jumped into the water, along with his companions.

"Ahhh!" Sakura screamed "My bra came off! Help me find it, quick!" About a hundred men jumped into the fountain then. They started looking around in the water, pushing each other out of the way. Several women quickly followed them into the water with the intent of pulling their wayward boyfriends and husbands out of the fray.

Well some of them.

Well, maybe one of them. The rest, however…

"I lost my bra too!" A woman's voice came from the other end of the fountain.

"Mine just floated away!"

"My shirt came off!"

"My shorts came off!"

"My speedo has floated away revealing my well toned…" whatever the masculine voice was planning on revealing as "well toned" was lost in the resulting melee of increasingly naked, drunken guests.

Sakura had started a riot. Or an orgy. They didn't stick around to read the police report to find out.

Standing in various locations around the fountain, staring at her wide eyed were Kakashi, Sai, Naruto and Sasuke. She made her way through the water and around the… "Oh! So that was what was well toned." Sakura said out loud as she passed a man who was minus his speedo. However, he wasn't minus some very important pieces of his anatomy.

Anyway, Sakura made her way back to the fountain wall and climbed out just as her four teammates reached her. She stood up on the wall and arched her back as she reached up to squeeze the water out of her hair then jumped down to the ground. The four men stood very still, trying to remember to breath. And stared. At her chest.

"Sakura." Kakashi's face was red. He gulped loudly before he could continue talking. "Umm. When you jump in the water wearing a thin white shirt and take off your bra, you might want to make sure you have something on under that bra – like bindings or something."

"Why?" Sakura had a brain-dead moment as her red faced teammates looked at her like she was a juicy steak. Following their line of site she slowly looked down at her chest and saw… Everything. Turning red she turned her back to them and put her arms around her chest. Her wet shirt was so clingy and see-through that it pretty much looked like she wasn't wearing a shirt at all.

She couldn't believe she didn't think of that earlier. Of course, someone like Ino would have thought of it and done it anyway, but Sakura wasn't like Ino. She usually wore bindings but this job was so easy she didn't think she would be fighting so she didn't see the need to bind her… "Oh God…." She sighed and sank down to the ground in a crouch and put her head on her knees.

"Wh…where are th…the pl…plans?" She stuttered out shyly.

The four ninja were silent for a few seconds then started arguing. Sakura heard the words, but didn't care who spoke them. She just wanted to sink into the ground and not come up again for a hundred years.

"Did you see him?"

"No."

"Where'd he go?"

"I thought you were watching him?"

"I was watching Sakura…to…umm… make sure she was alright."

_Was that Kakashi's voice?_ Sakura felt her stomach summersault.

"Are you saying we let him get away with the plans?"

"We have to find him!"

Sakura raised her head and looked up at the four men arguing. The riot was getting louder and she heard the security guards trying to break it up.

Kakashi knelt down and spoke into her ear. "Sakura, go back to your room, we'll see if we can find the guy again." He ran off into the crowd. She put her hand over her ear, where she had felt his breath a moment before and let out a sigh of frustration and embarrassment.

Sakura slowly stood up, then ran as fast as she could back to the hotel.

_Two days later…_

Tsunade was not a woman who was easily shocked, but this had shocked her. After she heard their story she sat for several minutes with her eyes shut. Finally she opened them.

"The last time I checked none of you were teenagers anymore. So quit acting like it!" Her stern voice carried throughout the room and she scolded each of the jounin in turn.

"Naruto! Sasuke! Sai! There is a time and place for everything, and ogling your teammate during a mission is something only the late Jiraiya would compliment you on."

"Kakashi! Kakashi. Just ask the girl out already! This is getting pathetic!"

"Sakura! Do something about Kakashi! Oh, and bindings were invented for a very good reason. If you need reminding ask a genin. And you might want to cut down on your contact with Ino. Obviously she's becoming a bad influence."

"Now get out of my office! Lucky for you this was a genin job and the pay was low. I'll have a genin team try again in two weeks. When they succeed I will give them permission to laugh at you." Tsunade returned her gaze to her paperwork and ignored them.

The five shinobi silently left the Hokage's office. Sakura and Kakashi walked a few feet down the corridor then stopped and waited for the other's to disappear from view.

Sakura looked up at her silver-haired companion. "What was she talking about? What am I supposed to do with you?"

"How about we discuss it over dinner?" Kakashi bent down, lowered his mask, and to Sakura's surprise kissed her on the cheek. Her stomach was doing summersaults again.

'So now what?' The pink haired girl wondered to herself. 'Eh… Go for it. He wouldn't have looked at me at the fountain if he wasn't interested. He's not like Naruto, Sai and Sasuke. That was probably the only time in his life he was ever distracted. And I did it.'

"Hmmm." Sakura smiled up at him. "Does the fountain count as our first date? Because… second dates are much more fun."

All Kakashi could do was stare. Tsunade was right, he should have done this months ago.

Lowering his mask again he answered in a husky voice as he moved his lips over hers. "Yeah. It's a second date."

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Kakashi will lower his mask for one second for each review this story gets xD


	2. Chapter 2 The Daimyou's Wife

Well, I'll try to make this a story

Well, I'll try to make this a story. The chapters will be short. I had trouble thinking of a path for the plot and only decided on what you will read below after I started writing chapter 3 and realized it might actually work. I wanted something sort of original, which is kind of difficult considering all the good Kaka-saku stories out there xD I'm not much of a romantic even though I'm a girl, so this will remain a "romantic comedy".

Let me know what you think…

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Chapter 2 – The Daimyou's Wife

Two event-filled, wondrous weeks passed in the lives of team 7 of Konoha. Well, actually they were boring. There was nothing to do. Or if there was Tsunade wasn't telling them. Naruto would ask for a mission everyday, but the Hokage would tell him "not yet."

At the end of two weeks the five ninja were summoned to the Hokage's office. Everyone was excited, if a bit curious, as to why all of them would be given a mission together when usually only three of them were sent out.

Arriving in the office Tsunade wasted no time in ushering them down the hall to a meeting room. Three children, probably eleven years old were standing in front of a man in his early twenties. A man in a green jumpsuit. Wearing a black bowl haircut. 

"Lee! Is this your team?" Naruto gave his friend a big smile.

"Yes Naruto! They surely are! Look how full of life and youthfulness they are!" Lee gave Naruto a "thumbs up" and a big smile. Bizarrely enough all three children also gave Naruto the same greeting. Sakura and Kakashi stared at them in shock while Sasuke and Sai shuddered in disgust.

"Now children! The Lady Hokage is here, we have a job to do! Are you ready?" The new sensei was yelling in excitement.

"Yes!" All three children yelled in reply and Tsunade started snickering. The five members of team 7 suddenly realized what was going on and cringed in fear.

"1! 2! 3!" Each number was yelled louder than the last.

"Begin laughter!" If Lee didn't have laryngitis after this is would be a bloody miracle.

Lee and the three children pointed their fingers and laughed. Team 7 bowed their heads, a little embarrassed. Obviously Lee and company had completed the mission they had messed up. 

Soon Naruto started chuckling, followed by Sakura and then Kakashi. The chuckling quickly turned to all out laughter as the absurdity of the situation kicked in. Sasuke and Sai had big smiles on their faces, but for them that was pretty much the same as laughing.

It took several minutes before everyone could calm back down. Team 7 thanked the children for successfully completing the mission and soon Lee and his team were on their way out the door.

"Let's go team! What shall we do next?" Lee was still yelling.

"Let's practice shuriken throwing!" one of the boy's yelled back.

"Throwing stars! I want to practice them!" the second boy yelled.

"Let's kill Sensei! Then we don't have to yell all the time!" the girl yelled as she frowned and walked slowly after her three teammates.

"I second that!" both boys yelled.

"That is not youthful!" Lee yelled back. "We will return to the training grounds and practice…something! Yeah! Let's go!"

The three children turned back to the six people still standing in the meeting room and dropped to their knees. "Please! Kill us now! Don't make us go with him!" One of the boys put his hands together, pleading for a release to their suffering.

"I'll do anything!" The girl moaned.

"I'll cut you in for half the profits of the wet-shirt Sakura photo's I've been selling to the other Genin!" The other boy pulled out a very thick wad of cash and showed it to everyone.

"You were doing what!" Sakura yelled as her face turned bright red in embarrassment. "You come back here you little brat!" She took off running after Lee's team.

"Lee! Save your youthful…Ahhh!" Screams sounded throughout the Hokage's tower and all the birds in a three mile radius took to the skies in fear. A few minutes later Sakura came back in the room holding a brown envelope. Flipping through the contents she muttered something about the Hokage needing to recruit three new Genin.

Sasuke broke the silence. "Is anyone else here in need of a hearing aid now?"

"Maybe we can get a group discount." Sai offered.

Kakashi eased over to Sakura and put his chin on her shoulder, then reached over and pulled out one of the pictures. "Camera phone. Not good, Sakura. There could be hundreds of these out there."

Sakura's face quickly changed from anger to panic. She had visions of posters and billboards plastered with her wet, semi-naked visage. "Kakashi! What am I going to do?"

"Oh I don't know. I don't think the picture is half bad. Maybe some of the other countries will use it as a replacement for that bingo book picture you hated so much." Sai thought he had come up a good solution for the temper tantrum Sakura had thrown when she saw the crappy picture the cloud, stone and mist villages had used of her in their bingo books.

"Oh my god! No! I've got to stop this! Please don't let me be the first wet-t-shirt contest entry in the bingo books!" Sakura was near tears now.

"Sai. You will never learn when to keep your mouth shut, will you?" Sasuke sighed. "We'll do whatever we can Sakura, but really, the best thing to do is to just do nothing and let it die down. In a couple months no one will remember anything."

Kakashi put his arms around the pink haired girl and comforted her. "Sasuke's right. We'll just wait it out."

"Umm. Actually, it's not that easy." Tsunade interrupted, frowning.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi didn't like seeing Sakura upset and was little angry at what Tsunade just said.

"I had two reasons for bringing you all here. The second reason is down the hall. Temari and Kankuro are here as delegates from Gaara. It seems there was quite a lot of damage done, and the Daimyo of Wind country is demanding restitution. It turns out he owns almost the entire town the riot took place in. Follow me." Tsunade lead them to a formal conference room with highly polished tables and plush, comfortable chairs.

Temari, as usual, got right down to business. "Lord Gaara was given an ultimatum. Bring in the perpetrators, or have his funding cut off. The Daimyou is extremely upset about the damage. Lord Gaara is between a rock and a hard place. Konoha are our allies, but the Daimyou is in a position to bankrupt us."

Tsunade cut in. "He has also contacted the Daimyou of Fire country and he in turn threatened to cut off our funding as well if the perpetrators are not punished."

The five teammates swallowed nervously as they imagined what the punishment might be. Imprisonment? Banishment? Fines? No Porn? No Ramen? A jail cell full of embarrassing pictures? 

Kakashi finally spoke. "So what is the punishment, Temari?"

"Execution. You will be brought before the Daimyou in three days and beheaded." She looked at them sternly as five mouths dropped open in shock.

Temari, Kankuro and Tsunade started laughing. 

"Oh my god! You were right, Lady Tsunade, that was so funny!" Kankuro choked out the words.

"You should have seen your faces!" Temari had never played a joke on them before and when Tsunade had suggested it she was hesitant, but Kankuro finally talked her into it.

Team 7 sighed audibly and gave weak smiles. They didn't really feel like saying anything, and kept quiet.

"Seriously, though." Tsunade finally stopped laughing. "You will be going to Wind country to work in the casino hotel you destroyed for six months."

Temari took over the explanation. "The Daimyou's wife has started a program aimed at rehabilitating incurably insane criminals and you five will be enrolled in that program. You might even recognize some of the other 'participants'."

Naruto was the first to regain his voice. "Is it really wise to have incurably insane criminals working so closely to the public? Won't someone get hurt?"

Temari frowned. "Well, considering that the Daimyou's wife is herself incurably insane…"

"As is her dog." Kankuro interrupted "Stupid little yapping…"

Temari continued speaking before Kankuro could finish "There have been no incidents. Anyway, it has been calculated that if you work there for six months the Daimyou will forgive the debt. If you are good little boys and girls you could get that knocked down to three months."

"Okay." Tsunade spoke up. "You leave in the morning! Bring only necessities, everything else will be provided."

"Sakura." Temari's voice softened and she looked like she didn't want speak.

"Yes, Temari?" Sakura frowned. Temari usually wasn't hesitant about anything.

"If you agree to two years labor at the casino hotel your team will be let go. The…the Daimyou believes you were the one who started the riot." The pig-tailed blonde looked down at the table.

"No!" Kakashi yelled and banged his hand on the table. "Where Sakura goes, we go."

"That's right! We are Team 7 and nothing splits us up!" Naruto growled at her.

Temari smiled. "I'm sorry, but I had to say that. The Daimyou originally only wanted Sakura, but we talked him into taking all five of you. We knew you wouldn't let one of your companions take the wrap alone."

Sakura smiled and scooted over so she could put her head on Kakashi's shoulder. "Thanks Temari. You're a good friend. I'm sorry I caused so much trouble. I still don't know why things got so out of hand."

"We don't either. There was a lot of alcohol flowing but, really, it defies explanation." Temari gave a short laugh. "I really wish I'd been there though. It would have been a sight to see."

"What, Sakura half naked?" Sai just had to open his mouth.

"What? No! What is wrong with you Sai? All the naked men! I read the police report, there were dozens of them! God!" She looked over at Naruto. "Why haven't you killed him yet?"

Sai was giving her a big smile. 

"His smile kind of grows on you after a while." Naruto laughed, and Sasuke gave a short chuckle.

Tsunade smirked. "Well, I'll leave you to it then. Shizune is probably looking for me so I need to find a different place to hide. If I stay in one place for too long she tends to find me faster. Sakura, write to me and let me know how you are doing. And don't get too upset about the photo's." 

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Please read and review!

Next chapter they leave for Wind country and run into some foreign ninja's.

My goal is to update every week, but my focus will be on my Itachi story so if I'm pressed for time with that story, this story will be late. But I do not want to go more than two weeks without an update so don't worry xD


	3. Chapter 3 May I Have Your Autograph

Thanks for all the reviews! It's pretty amazing.

I forgot to change the setting on the story from complete to in progress. It's fixed now so there should be less confusion xD

Disclaimer – Kishimoto owns everything.

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Chapter 3 May I Have Your Autograph?

The seven shinobi gathered at the front gates of Konoha early the next morning. Okay, it was actually 1pm. Everyone slept in, and everyone was late. Apparently a rather large quantity of elderly ladies needed to be helped across streets, or carried to the market. Of course, that didn't explain why Sakura was wearing Kakashi's jounin vest…but no one was going to ask because Kakashi appeared to be wearing Sakura's vest. An hour later the two lovers realized and with slightly reddened faces traded vests.

Heading off into the forest that surrounded Konoha the group took to the trees and traveled throughout the warm day. The sun occasionally filtered through the canopy of leaves leaving beams of sunlight in their wake. The Leaf and Sand nin's didn't talk much. For some reason everyone was stuck in their own thoughts and the silence was companionable instead of awkward.

_Sakura followed her friends as they jumped skillfully from branch to branch through the forest of trees. The late afternoon summer sun was high in the sky and sweat glistened off her flawlessly formed face. Stopping to catch her breath she stretched her arms out and then, reaching down to the edge of her shirt, slowly pulled it off. Sweat glistened as it caught the sun, forming small droplets that rolled down from her neck, past her collar bone, down her chest then onto her perfectly formed, rounded…_

"Kakashi! Pay attention! You almost ran into that tree!" Sakura grabbed his arm, maneuvering him out of harms way. "What is wrong with you?"

Kakashi blinked his eyes a couple times, coming back to reality. "Ha ha! Sorry about that! I guess I was daydreaming or something."

Sakura put her head nearer his and lowered her voice "Was it about me?"

"Who else?" He raised his eyebrows and smiled as she blushed.

_Oh my God! What was he thinking? It could have been anything_. "Kakashi, you're a pervert."

"Uh huh. And who was just flirting with me a second ago? You are too, Sakura." He chuckled.

"Yeah. Well. I can have fantasies of my own you know." She pretended to look disinterested.

"As long as we don't fantasize at the same time, fine go ahead."

"Why not at the same time?" Sakura and Kakashi were looking at each other as they jumped from branch to branch.

"One of us has to be paying attention so the other one doesn't run into a tree."

Wham!

Sakura and Kakashi suddenly found themselves sitting on their rear ends on a branch with two large tree trunks in front of them.

"Yamato!" They both yelled.

"Ha ha! Couldn't resist after hearing that! I had to put a tree in both your paths." The wood-jutsu master jumped down on the large branch and helped them both up. The rest of the party gathered around.

"Anyway," Yamato continued "I wanted to say goodbye and I'll see you when you get back. No hard feelings huh?" He raised his arm and nervously scratched the back of his head.

Kakashi and Sakura both narrowed their eyes and grinned evilly. Kakashi answered "No, none at all. We love falling on our butts. Revenge never crossed our minds. Nope. Not once."

Everyone started snickering at Yamato who was starting to get nervous.

Sakura started laughing. "Just kidding Yamato. Really, thanks for coming to see us off. I know you are busy these days, so we didn't think we would see you until we got back."

Yamato had once been a part of team 7 a long time ago, but had opted out to continue his ninja career in ANBU. Of course, unofficially, everyone still considered him a part of the team and he was included in get-togethers (aka pub crawling) whenever possible.

"If I can get away, I'll try to come down and visit you guys at that hotel. Tsunade told me all about what happened before I left last night. Sounds like a cushy deal, guys. Six months at a five star hotel. Washing toilets, cleaning up drunk's vomit in elevators, hauling one ton suitcases for customers. Make sure you take lots of pictures!" Yamato waved as he jumped to the ground and ran off into the trees.

Naruto frowned. "He really tried to rub it in, didn't he?"

Sasuke smirked. "Maybe we ought to take about twenty pictures of vomit and send them to him."

Everyone looked at Sasuke in shock. That comment was extremely out of character for him.

"Are you channeling Itachi? Because, that was really evil." Sakura squinted her eyes and looked closely at Sasuke's face as she waved her hand in front of his eyes.

He grabbed at her hand and missed. "Stop that! And of course it was evil. You realize he is going to go down there then and be the tourist from hell. He'll do everything he can think of to make our lives miserable."

Naruto huffed. "Yeah. Well, let's wait and see what he does, then we'll use Sasuke's new-found channeling ability to think up a suitable punishment for him."

They all took off into the trees again as Sasuke yelled (in vain). "I am not channeling Itachi!"

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The next day they crossed the border of Fire country and entered into River country. In a few hours they would cross through into the Wind country and begin six months incarceration at a luxurious five star hotel.

Something about that just didn't sound all that bad. Sakura imagined doing laundry, cleaning rooms, changing sheets, scrubbing toilets. But in nice hotel rooms. Maybe doing dishes or waitressing. She could do that for six months. And Kakashi would be there, and the rest of the gang. They would have nights to get together and talk and relax. _I wonder if they will let us use the pool?_

River country had one large river running the entire length from the east to the west. The party would have to find a bridge to cross or use the water walking jutsu. Not wanting to call too much attention to themselves (they _were_ ninja after all) they decided to walk across the water.

Reaching the other side they got a bit of surprise as three enemy shinobi with Stone forehead protectors ran up to them at full speed. Bracing themselves for attack they were surprised when the three men stopped running as soon as they reached Sakura.

"Miss Sakura! Miss Sakura! Oh my God I can't believe it's really you!"

"I never thought I'd actually meet you!"

"Wow! Everyone is going to be so jealous!"

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Oh! I want your autograph too!"

"Me too!"

Sakura watched as the three men (three cute six foot, well built men with topknots of flowing long shiny blond hair and beautiful sky blue eyes) each pulled out a book and started thumbing through it.

The rest of the Konoha/Sand party watched in shock, wondering what kind of evil treachery was in store for them. Surely this was some kind of new attack? Or… something…

"Here it is! Please, please can you autograph my Bingo book?" The book and a pen was pushed into her hands. She was so shocked she signed her name in all three books before she finally looked down at the page she wrote on.

Staring up at her was a picture of very wet Sakura with her back arched and her hands behind her head wringing out her hair. A very good view of her…chest… was the central focus of the picture.

The three men ran off back into the wood shouting their victory as Sakura let out a scream of frustration and sank to her knees.

Sai smiled. "Well, you should be happy now, they got rid of that picture you hated."

Two hours later, when Sai regained consciousness, they continued on their way.

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Sakura was in a foul mood when they finally crossed into Wind country. The lush forests of Fire and River country passed behind them and the harshly beautiful desert of Wind country stretched before them. The sun was setting and shadows formed beside the barren hills as the dust in the air turned the sky purple, red and orange.

Stopping to look at the view in front of her she gasped in wonder. "It's beautiful. I love desert sunsets."

Kakashi wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Yeah. It's kind of what 'forever' would look like if it was a color."

Sakura thought about that for a moment. He usually didn't say things like that. Was he flirting, or was he actually being poetic?

"Jiraiya wrote that in one of his 'Icha Icha' books. He had quite a way with words." Kakashi's voice sounded sad.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of him." So he wasn't being poetic, he was just a little sentimental.

"Nah. It's okay. I always liked that line and I finally got to use it on my favorite girl. I'm sure Jiraiya would be proud right now."

"Hmmm." Turning around, she grasped his mask in both hands and pulled it down, then just as she was reaching up and he was bending down…

"Get a room you two! We've still got three hours of travel before we make camp! Get a move on!" Temari had a wicked smile on her face as she yelled at them.

"She waited for the last minute to do that, didn't she?" Kakashi sighed and rested his forehead on Sakura's.

Sakura gave him a quick kiss anyway then pulled his mask back up. "Let's not keep our jailers waiting." She gave him a crooked smile and took off running. The sand made her hips sway just a little bit more than usual and Kakashi made sure he stayed behind her to…umm…make sure she didn't...something…trip, yeah.

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The sunrise was beautiful, but it lacked the colors of the sunset. Still, Sakura and Kakashi had woken up early so they could enjoy it together. Sitting in silence he held her in his arms. A blanket was wrapped around them for warmth. Kakashi couldn't help thinking that the next time they did this would definitely be without the entourage. Naruto, Sai, Sasuke, Temari and Kankuro were playing a little game of "let's interrupt Sakura and Kakashi's make-out sessions and piss them off". He was pretty sure it was intentional.

Sakura sighed. "Do you think they will let us see each other when we get there?"

"Who knows? I think we can arrange something though, anyway. We are ninja after all."

"True. I don't think I could go six months without kissing you." Sakura twisted her neck to look back at Kakashi. He leaned down, looking into her bright green eyes as he…

"Breakfast! Come and get it!" Naruto jumped up a foot away from the lovers and yelled as loud as he could, then laughed evilly as he made his way back to the camp.

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The leaf and sand nin's were within five miles of the casino town when they were once again accosted by enemy ninja's. Or rather Sakura was. This time there were two teams for a total of six shinobi and two kunoichi. They were all from the village hidden in the Mist and being that they were in the desert, looked the worse for wear.

After showing their papers to Temari (who wanted to confirm that they were, indeed, hired escorts for an important businessman's family who wanted spend their vacation gambling) they crowded around the pink-haired Kunoichi. Well, the six guys did. The two women hung back with disgruntled looks on their faces. This was not how they envisioned spending what little free time was allotted them.

Sakura tried to discourage them, but they were so insistent on getting her autograph that she gave in. Frankly, she didn't know what to think. She was first and foremost very embarrassed. Second, she was mad that someone would distribute nearly naked photos of her without her approval. Third the guys asking for her autograph weren't being lewd or making passes at her and she didn't feel threatened by them. They were treating her like a celebrity, perhaps. Sakura had guarded celebrities before and most of them were fairly gracious about signing autographs and most of the fans had been very polite, if not embarrassed about asking for them. But a bingo book is supposed to be used as a picture of book of people to kill. Not a "Guidebook to the Stars". Shouldn't these guys be trying to kill her so they could take her head back to Mist and collect the reward?

Looking at the picture in the Mist bingo book she was surprised to see it was the same one that the Stone book had used. She suddenly wanted to see what picture Sand and Cloud were using.

"Excuse me, Sakura?" The two Kunoichi who had been standing back suddenly approached her when the Mist men moved over to talk to the Leaf and Sand ninjas. Sakura blushed bright red. She didn't like the thought that other women would think she was being a floozy. After all, girl-talk could get pretty vicious when it came to destroying your rival's reputation. Sakura had noticed over the years that it was probably better for men to think you were easy than for the women. The men would give a few cat-calls, ask you out a few times, then stop. The women would talk about you behind your back for the next fifty years. Well, not all of them. Most wouldn't. But it was the thought of the one or two that would that made Sakura uneasy as the two Mist women stood in front of her.

"I…umm…I'm not really like this. The picture was taken without me knowing." She felt she had to apologize. She glanced over at the men and saw that the Mist ninja's were talking pleasantly with the Leaf and Sand. Temari walked over to join the women.

"No one is blaming you, Sakura." Temari reassured her.

"Yeah, in fact, we were just talking and it's kind of hard to get dates when you are a kunoichi who can down three quarters of the male population in a five minute fight. So…do you have any advice on how to get a guy you like to ask you out?" The kunoichi was giving her a shy, but hopeful smile.

"I bet you get asked out on lots of dates, you don't look buffed up at all. Umm…no offense. I'm sure you're pretty strong, your profile says you are anyway." The second kunoichi was endowed with muscles and by the way she kept her sleeves long, past her hands, she appeared to be a little ashamed of it. Sakura guessed that it may have been part of her fighting style or perhaps a Kekkei Genkai.

"I…Umm…well…" She was planning on just blowing them off, but the hopeful looks on their faces made her feel bad. She thought about what it was about her that Kakashi liked. That ought to be a good start. "Well, don't try to be something that you aren't. Fake people are hard to get close to because you don't know if you are close to the real person or the fake one. Don't be quick to judge, but don't give up your own beliefs because you think it will make the guy like you."

Sakura suddenly thought about Naruto and Hinata. "And if all else fails, ask the guy out yourself. No one said you have to wait for the guy to do everything. Take Naruto over there. Completely clueless. The shyest girl in the village finally asked him out on a date after pining for him for God knows how many years. He accepted and, frankly, he's so clueless we think she will also have to be the one to propose."

Temari's face was scrunched up in deep thought. "Yeah. Good advice."

"I'll do that." The two Mist women nodded their heads and smiled.

"And if all else fails, I could submit a picture of myself in a bikini to the bingo books…" One of the mist kunoichi was looking at her bingo book.

Sakura laughed nervously. "No, no, you probably don't want to do that. _I_ don't want to do that. It just happened." However, she couldn't get one thought out of her mind. Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto and Sai in speedo's posing at her from the pages of her bingo book. She gave a short, evil chuckle.

Temari gave the same evil chuckle.

And so did the two Mist kunoichi.

The men paused in their conversation to look at the now leering women. Why exactly were they looking at the men and drooling?

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I guess that's a good spot to stop for now. Next time they will arrive at the Hotel and be assigned their duties. But their roommates might be a bit much for them to deal with.

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4 New Roommates

Thanks for all the reviews and fav's! They are so much fun to read!

Kakashi has agreed to do a strip-tease for reviews. Every chapter he will remove a piece of clothing. He has already removed his mask so read on and at the end of each chapter see what else he will take off. o.O

Kishimoto owns everything.

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Chapter 4 – New Roommates

The Leaf and Sand shinobi approached the village, passing several tourists and merchants. Sakura was asked for her autograph three more times before she borrowed one of Kakashi's masks and a hat. With her face disguised she and the others stood before the east gate. "Casino Town" was written across the top in big black kanji.

"Such an original name." Naruto frowned.

"Yeah, well, I guess the people coming here are more interested in loosing their money than what the name of the town is." Kankuro sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Getting tired, little brother?" His sister teased.

"Yeah." Kankuro yawned and started walking toward the hotel. Everyone else yawned as well. It was a little addictive after all. It was also dinner time and they had been walking all day.

Approaching the hotel Sakura could see the fountain. Or what remained of it. There was no water in the large, lake sized trough and the fountain mechanisms were ripped up and the all the lights were shattered. Even some large pieces of the concrete wall surrounding the fountain were missing. How had such thick walls been demolished by people? Did some of them have explosives? Sakura could imagine the water pouring out of the fountain and into the street. Looking around she could see many of the decorative plants were also missing and the statues in front of the hotel were on their sides.

Kakashi placed his arm around her shoulders. The front of the hotel looked like a disaster area. He could see that Sakura was close to tears and was no doubt blaming herself. He wanted to say something to her, but he couldn't think of anything appropriate. "It wasn't your fault" would not work with her, it never had. The others were silent as well.

Entering the hotel, Temari excused herself so she could find the Daimyou's wife and inform her of their arrival. The once beautiful lobby looked like a construction area. The luxurious carpet that had once welcomed visitors had been removed and water stains could be seen on the walls. There was no furniture in the large waiting area – no doubt removed due to water damage. One side of the room had already been stripped of drywall and tools sat idle.

"I wonder if we will be doing construction work?" Sasuke asked out loud. He hated manual labor. His mind thought too far ahead and he had trouble following step by step instructions. He would think of the end result and do the work that got him there whether it was supposed to be done or not. It always got him into trouble.

After waiting nearly twenty minutes Temari finally reappeared with what everyone assumed was the Daimyou's wife. The fifty-five-year-old woman was about five foot two inches and a little bit overweight, maybe forty pounds. She had a fussy face, the type that had big eyes, dainty nose, dimples, and a big grin. Her black hair was done up in a geisha style complete with decorative chopsticks. In contrast to her hairstyle, her clothing was western. She wore a pink jacket and knee-length skirt with a white blouse and black high heeled shoes. She was also carrying a little white shih tzu dog in a pink shoulder bag.

Temari looked sternly at the leaf ninjas. "Lady Suzu Mogi, may I introduce the Konoha ninja's you requested?"

The woman's big smile got bigger. "Yes, please." She had a very kind voice.

Temari pointed to each of the ninja's as she introduced them, and they all bowed at the appropriate time. Even Naruto and Sai behaved themselves.

Suzu walked over to Sakura. "My dear, why are you covering your pretty face? Come on, take off the mask and hat."

Sakura slowly revealed her face, glancing around the local area as she did. When she had finished she half expected about a dozen admirers to appear out of the wood-work and attack her with bingo-books and pens.

"Ah! Perfect! Deidara! Deidara! Where did that man go!" The woman turned around and looked.

"Right here un." A bored voice spoke from behind a water-stained pillar.

"Deidara love, what are you doing there?" Suzu clicked her tongue at him in disapproval.

The bored voice spoke again, but made no move to leave the pillar. "Hiding."

"Why?" Suzu was completely baffled by the man's behavior.

Naruto answered the question by yelling "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because if he shows his face I'll pound it into the ground!"

"Yeah. What he said, un." Deidara said.

"Hey. Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Sasuke frowned and asked in a very confused voice. "I seem to remember you blowing yourself up."

"Hey. Aren't _you_ supposed to be dead un?" Deidara answered. "I seem to remember blowing _you_ up un."

"So why aren't you dead?" Sasuke yelled in anger.

Deidara moved away from the pillar and pointed his finger at Sasuke. "So why aren't _you_ dead?"

"Answer my question!" Sasuke took a couple steps forward and continued to yell.

"No. _You_ answer _my_ question un!" Deidara yelled back at him.

"I'm not answering questions from an S-class criminal!"

"I'm not answering questions from a stuck up little prick who doesn't know the difference between revivalism and super-flat un!"

"What?"

"Hah!"

"Would you two knock it off!" Temari yelled at the top of her voice.

"Oh it's okay, Temari dear. Deidara gets into arguments with everyone. You know how temperamental these artist's types can get. Personally, I think it just adds to his charm." She reached up and pinched his cheek. Deidara scowled at her, but kept silent. "He's such a sweet boy, really."

Deidara mumbled something and stared at Sasuke, who stared back.

Suzu continued to talk. "Now Sakura, I have a great idea for the fountain out front that you destroyed. When I saw the picture going around I knew that it would be perfect. You shall model for a twenty-foot statue of a woman to be placed in the middle of the fountain. I want the same pose as the picture. Deidara, of course, shall be the sculptor."

Of all the jobs Sakura expected to be assigned, "semi-nude model" was not one of them. Apparently Deidara was not too thrilled with the idea either.

"I don't want her as my model! I don't want anything to do with Konoha un!"

"I don't want to be a model! It's embarrassing!"

Suzu gave them both a sickly sweet smile "Then I guess you should have thought of that before you killed the Kazekage and before you destroyed my husband's favorite hotel."

Deidara mumbled "But he was brought back to life."

Sakura mumbled "But the hotel is still standing."

Kakashi decided it was time for him to say something. "My girlfriend is not posing nude for anyone but me."

Sakura blushed. "Nude? For you?"

Suzu clasped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my goodness. She's your girlfriend? Oh my. And I have you in separate rooms. I'll have to change that."

Sakura quickly spoke up. "No, no. Separate rooms are okay."

"But Sakura dear, he's your lover, you heard him." Suzu was clearing confused.

"No, he's not. I mean. I mean. We haven't. You know…"

"Know what?" Sai, Sasuke, Naruto, Kankuro and Deidara said at the same time, amused expressions on their faces.

"You know…done…'It'." Sakura was blushing so red that Suzu instantly felt sorry for her.

"It's okay, dear. I'm sure if we give the man some Icha Icha books and a few porn movies he'll figure out what to do and make a woman out of you in no time." She paused. "Well, not that quick. It's better if it lasts at least thirty minutes. But you'll find that out someday. Don't worry, dear."

Kakashi's mouth was moving but he couldn't think of anything to say. Was the woman insulting his manhood? She was so batty he wasn't sure.

Sakura answered instead. "I'm sure he knows what to do, Lady Suzu. It's just that we haven't…yet. And I'd kind of…kind of like to wait until I'm married, or something… I don't know. I'm not sure."

"Oh how old fashioned! Your great-grandmother must be so proud of you! Though personally, I made sure my fiancé was 'up to it' _before_ we tied the knot. I wasn't going to settle for anything less." The woman's sweet voice was such a contradiction to the words she was saying that everyone was left speechless.

Naruto finally spoke up. "But when we left Konoha you two were wearing each others jounin vests."

Kakashi smirked. "We spent all night watching movies and fell asleep in front of the TV. When we woke up it was noon and we grabbed the wrong vests on the way out."

"Oh." Naruto wasn't sure what to think of that. "Hinata and I never really get around to watching the movies we rent."

"Hn. So what do the two of you do?" Sasuke was still amused that Naruto and Hinata were going out.

"Sex." Naruto smiled widely.

"And you figured out how to do that without the porn movies?" Sasuke ducked as Naruto swung a good-natured punch at him.

"Hey! I learned _something_ from Pervy Sage." Naruto laughed.

Suzu laughed along with Naruto. "I think it's time for me to tell the rest of you what you will be doing. Now. Kakashi, you will be a male escort. I realize you have a girlfriend, but it's just a job, not male prostitution so don't panic, and you can ask Deidara for pointers. He's been doing it for a few years now. Sasuke and Sai will be bartenders. Naruto will be a pool boy. When Sakura isn't modeling she will help in the infirmary.

"Now, the program I put together is designed to reform the criminally insane. As you can see from Deidara he is perfectly reformed and nearly ready to re-enter society."

Sakura thought she had figured out how the holes in the fountain wall had appeared and suddenly had second thoughts about how "reformed" the suicidal bomber really was. She looked over at Deidara who was standing behind Suzu with an evil smirk on his face. Glancing at Temari she could see a look that said "One inch outside of this hotel and he's as good as mine."

Suzu continued talking. "Six months here and you will have re-paid your debt to my husband and I will have reformed you from causing riots, or orgies, or whatever it was that happened. Now! Deidara! Show the lady and gentlemen to their rooms."

"What? Why me? You know as soon as they get me alone in an elevator I'm dead!" Deidara pouted.

"Then I'll bring you back to life the way I did before. Now don't worry, dear, you're perfectly safe as long as I'm around. I'll fix all your owies and make you all better." She pinched the blond bomber's cheek again and walked away. The little dog started barking and they could hear the sound disappear down the long corridor.

They walked toward the elevators. Deidara punched the "up" button and waited. Naruto and Kankuro were giving him dirty looks. Once in the elevator Deidara pressed the top button and told them they would have to transfer to a different elevator when they arrived.

Moving into the second elevator Deidara pressed "2" and sighed.

"You're not the only one, are you?" Sasuke asked bitterly.

"No. un."

"Itachi?"

"un."

"Hn."

"un."

"Hn."

"un."

"Would you two stop it!" Sakura yelled. "You're giving me a headache!"

The elevator door opened revealing a large living room with several couches, a large-screen TV, kitchen, dining room and a hallway next to the kitchen that probably led to the bedrooms. Opposite the kitchen and hallway was a bank of windows that stretched from the floor to the ceiling.

"Your rooms are through that hallway un. There are twenty empty rooms you can choose from – the ones without name tags on the doors. Except Sakura un. Lady Suzu did a room up special for you, 'dear'. Un." He mimicked Suzu's speech pattern when he said "dear".

"Sasuke." The measured voice was calm.

"Itachi." Sasuke looked at his brother.

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Un."

"Hn."

"Un."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"I don't think I'll survive six months of this." Kakashi said sorrowfully.

"Try three years of it." Kabuto stepped out of the hallway and into the living area. "I guarantee you that if I wasn't insane before, I certainly am now."

"So who else is here?" Kakashi asked with a sigh of resignation.

Kabuto answered. "Kisame Hoshigaki."

Temari interrupted. "Lord Gaara was able to intervene in the program to prevent Lady Suzu from bringing back too many people. Even these are questionable, but they seemed well-behaved so far. I haven't a clue why."

"We've explained it only, oh, I think a hundred times. But never mind, continue with your little speech." Kabuto said bitterly.

Temari gave him a dirty look. "Kankuro and I have to go. If you need anything, let me know." Her gaze wondered over to Deidara who smiled at her. Sakura did a double-take when she saw Temari's cheeks flush a light pink as she turned around to re-enter the elevator. Kankuro was grumbling something about wanting to spend the night and sleep as he followed her.

'Hmmm. So Temari and Deidara, huh?' Sakura thought to herself. It wasn't an ideal couple, but they would look cute together. Both had fiery tempers, could fly (Deidara made clay birds and Temari used her fan), and they had the same expressive eyes. Yep. They were made for each other. But first…

"I need a bath. Where's my room?" Sakura mumbled as she walked toward the hallway. Kakashi joined her, however his goal was not bathing but to make sure the room next to hers was occupied. By him. And to make sure there were locks on her door. And to make sure the curtains covered the windows properly. And to make sure there were no hidden cameras in behind the pictures on in the light fixtures. And to make sure the dresser drawers opened properly and had no splinters in the wood.

At that point Sakura kicked him out of her room. Sometimes a girl just wants to be alone.

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This was kind of a transitional chapter to explain what is going on at the hotel and what their duties will be. Next chapter we'll get into the swing of things as Sakura and Kakashi begin their new duties and try to settle in with their strange roommates. How will Sakura react to Kakashi escorting other women?

So was this a little too off the wall for you? I wanted Suzu to be an insane, bored rich woman who lives in her own little fantasy world of goodness and sunshine. And I thought, what better way to show that than to have her use a jutsu to bring back several bad-guys and attempt to reform them. Don't worry though, this won't detract from Kakashi and Sakura. If it does, yell at me. XD

For the sake of reviews -

Okay – queue the music – Kakashi will remove his…Gloves and Sandals and throw them into the crowded club! Who will catch them? Only the reviewers!


	5. Chapter 5 First Day on the Job

Thanks for all the reviews and fav's! They are so much fun to read! I'm so grateful (wipes away tear)

Kakashi has agreed to do a strip-tease for reviews. Every chapter he will remove a piece of clothing. Read on and at the end of each chapter see what else he will take off. o.O

Kishimoto owns everything.

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Sakura woke up at 6am to the sound of an electronic bell ringing in three short bursts. Annoyed, she rolled over onto her stomach and closed her eyes, fully intending to go back to sleep. After all, the schedule she found taped to her door said that she didn't have to be at the art studio until 9am.

Someone pounded on her door. "Get up! Everyone has to get up or we'll be punished." She thought she recognized the deep voice as Kisame, but it had been years since she had heard it. Had he come for Naruto again? Maybe she would warn him after she woke up.

The next time she woke up was when she felt some one pick her up roughly, toss

her over a shoulder and carry her out into the living room, dropping her unceremoniously onto the floor. She looked around her and saw Kakashi and Naruto were also sitting on the floor in their nightclothes. Sasuke and Sai were sitting on the couch properly dressed and groomed. Looking up she saw Kisame scowling at her.

"_We_ do not want to be punished by that insane woman because _you_ are too lazy to get up in the morning!" He growled at her.

Kakashi frowned at him. "What could she possibly do that would scare you?"

"I'm not scared. But for the record, how fond are _you_ of purple dinosaurs?"

Itachi spoke up. "Or to be more precise, _a_ purple dinosaur who sings and dances and says stupid things for hours on end."

Deidara continued. "In a closed, locked room with the sound at full volume un."

"When you say hours, do you mean two or…?" Sai needed clarification.

"The last time was twelve." Kisame sat down next to Sai and patted him on the head to annoy him.

"If I had known about Lady Suzu years ago I would have used her to defeat Madara instead of my stupid little brother." Itachi's voice was bitter.

"Now that we are up can we go get dressed?" Sakura was getting fed up with the gossip and wasn't particularly afraid of a "Barney" marathon.

"Lady Suzu makes us sing to the music un." Deidara's words silenced the room instantly as visions of S-class criminals singing "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" threaded there way disturbingly through the Konoha-nins consciousnesses.

A few minutes later the elevator opened and three Sand shinobi entered the apartment. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. The criminals because everyone was present and accounted for, the Konoha-nins because they were able to concentrate on something other than Deidara's disturbing revelation.

"Everyone stand in a line. You new guys, every morning except Sundays we have roll call. You should be up and dressed, but because it's your first day we will overlook your current attire since you are on time." The three sand-nins stared at Sakura as she stood up and got in line. She noticed and groaned inwardly. She knew what was coming next.

"Okay. Let's get it over with." She sighed and slowly walked over to the three ninja's who pulled their bingo books out of their vests.

"Thank-you very much! You are quite a celebrity!" The ninja who had spoken first smiled broadly.

The other two ninja's thanked her as well as they all left.

"Kakashi. The picture in their bingo book was the same one used in the Stone and Mist books." Sakura was starting to get suspicious.

"That is odd." The copy-nin was a little puzzled. "You don't suppose they all come from the same publisher do you?"

Sai answered. "They are published in the villages by ANBU. No external interference."

Kakashi snickered. They weren't actually devoid of outside interference. When he was in ANBU he had acted as courier for several draft versions of the books and delivered them to a mysterious building in the Fire country capital. He now wondered what exactly that building was.

Another memory came forward, one that Kakashi had forgotten. He had seen Jiraiya standing outside of that building on one mission. He had been handing over a large envelope to a man who was thanking him profusely for it.

And a thought, an unwanted thought, wound its way through his mind. _Is the company that produces the Icha Icha books, magazines and movies the same one that publishes the Bingo Books?_

"Are you okay Kakashi?" Sakura placed her hand on his face, stroking it softly. "You just shivered."

"Ha ha! I'm fine. Just… I think we should get dressed now and have some breakfast." He removed her hand and kissed it before he walked down the hallway. Sakura was being fairly good-natured about it all now, but how long was that going to last?

"Did anyone else notice that Kakashi wasn't wearing his mask?" Naruto yawned as he spoke.

Sasuke sighed. "Observant as always, Naruto."

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Sakura followed Deidara back into the elevator and up one flight. When the doors opened they revealed a room similar to the one below except without the kitchen or excess furniture. It was a large art studio full of canvases, clay, sculptures, and another large screen TV with a couch in front of it. The pink-haired kunoichi figured it would be an artists dream come true. However, Deidara scowled and made a beeline for the couch and turned the TV on.

"So, what do we do?" Sakura was a little confused at the man's behavior.

"Soap operas un. Be quiet."

"Oh. Um…" She glanced at her watch. "Do you watch 'Ninja Medical' or 'Kunoichi Nights' or 'My Samurai My Ninja'"?

"Huh. Of course."

The opening music to "Kunoichi Nights" started and Sakura was instantly drawn to the couch.

"Has Youko woken up from her coma? I last watched a few days ago and she was moving her fingers." Sakura was glued to the TV.

"No un. She had a regression and they are talking about pulling the plug un."

"No! They can't do that! She'll get better, I know she will!" Sakura's eyes filled with tears and Deidara moved the tissue box so she could reach it.

"I know un! But her husband finally visited and he had his slutty girlfriend with him un and she talked him into it so she could" sniff, sniff "…could get at his inheritance." Deidara blew his nose.

"I hate her so much." Sakura wiped her eyes.

It pretty much went like that for the next three hours. Apparently the soap opera addicted fans failed to realize that the plots of all three of their beloved shows were exactly the same. Only the names were changed.

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Returning for lunch Sakura was pleased to see Kakashi in the apartment when she arrived and wrapped her arms around him, laying her cheek on his chest.

Kakashi hugged her back, a little amused. "What's with the passionate welcome?"

"I haven't seen you in hours. I never want to be away from you that long again."

"You've been watching soap-opera's, haven't you?" He pulled her away from him a few inches so he could look her in the eye.

"I…umm…why do you ask?" She gave a nervous laugh.

"You always get clingy when you watch TV."

"Oh. Well, if you hate it so much…" She released her arms and tried to move away, feeling a little disgruntled.

"I didn't say I hated it. Just that if they upset you so much maybe you shouldn't watch."

"But Kakashi! Youko's husband wants to pull the plug! I have to keep watching so he doesn't kill her!" Sakura's eyes teared up again.

"You!" Kakashi pointed his finger at Deidara, who had been fixing a sandwich on the kitchen island.

"Me what un? What did I do?" He frowned.

"You were supposed to be sculpting not spending all morning watching TV."

"What the hell does it matter un? And _you_ said you didn't want me looking at _your_ girl anyway. Besides, she doesn't even have a figure. I'd rather choose my own model un."

"I don't have a what?" Sakura turned to him and yelled loudly.

Deidara snickered. "This afternoon I am escorting several beautiful, full figured ladies to a tea party un. With any luck I will be painting one of them this evening un. If you want to see what a woman's figure _should_ look like come upnd watch un." He chuckled. "But don't stay for too long, the artistic process needs _some_ privacy."

Kakashi grabbed Sakura as she made a run for the blond.

"Hmph. So you don't think I look like a woman. Well. What do these look like!" She unzipped her shirt, and grabbed the bottom of the bra and pulled it up.

Deidara and Kakashi both started coughing. Deidara because he was choking on his sandwich and Kakashi because he had never seen Sakura this mad and this…bare.

Kakashi quickly grabbed her bra, pulling it back into position and zipped up her shirt. "You don't have to go that far to prove anything. If Deidara wants to be a prick, let him."

Deidara quickly drank a glass of water. His face was red from coughing and… Okay, so she did have something worth showing off. And the look on her face when she lifted her shirt… It did have possibilities. "Hmm… Maybe I'll have you pose for me after all."

Sakura was still pissed. "Damn right you will! I've got just as much of a figure as the floozies you paint!"

Kakashi hid his face in his hands. "Sakura, do you know what you just said?"

"Oh, let's not tell her just yet un." Deidara grinned evilly. "I want to get a few paintings in first."

It was three hours later when Sakura was working in the infirmary and in the middle of patching up a scraped knee on a crying five-year-old that she finally realized what she had agreed to do. Closing her eyes she bent down and hit her head several times on the aluminum exam table. The little girl stopped crying.

"You're going to give yourself an owie." She said between sniffles.

"That's okay, sweatie, I'm a medic. You can go now. And no running on the sidewalk."

"It's not like there's anywhere else to play around here." The child mumbled as her mother pushed her through the door, glancing back warily at the pink haired medic who still had her head face-down on the table.

"I'll talk to Lady Suzu about that." She promised, but the two were already gone.

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Sakura found that working in the Infirmary of a Hotel was a little more eventful than she expected. Mostly because Naruto was brought in twice for nearly drowning, Sai came in once with bad burns from the bartending class Itachi was teaching, Kabuto came in and needed a finger reattached after chopping it off in the restaurant's kitchen, Kakashi came in with a black eye that he refused to explain, followed by Deidara who had a sprained shoulder that he also refused to explain. Then there was Itachi who wanted some migraine medicine, Sasuke who wanted some more burn cream for Sai who refused to come a second time, and Kisame who pretended to be sick so he could come down and get away from Naruto for a few minutes.

It was certainly a lot different from what she expected. No drunks or hotel staff. Just one little girl and a bunch of clumsy ninja. Only the girl had a good excuse, Sakura thought to herself. What kind of a ninja cuts off his own finger or drowns in a swimming pool? And Kabuto was supposed to be a medic nin anyway, why didn't he just reattach it himself? Well, she could understand Itachi's headache. Sasuke and Sai would be hell for anyone to teach. And Kisame's hiding wasn't unusual. She had done something similar on several occasions when Naruto's happy-go-lucky demeanor was just too much to handle.

The door to the infirmary opened at 5:58 and Sakura cringed. She was ready for the day to end and well, of course _someone_ would come in right at closing time.

"Ready for me to escort you to dinner, my lovely lady?" She looked up and her jaw dropped. Kakashi was dressed in a gorgeously fitted black serge wool formal three piece suit complete with white shirt, shiny black shoes, gray and white patterned silk tie, gold cuff links, silk eye patch, silk face mask and a gold ring with the hotel's initials engraved on it. The suit had a satin lapel and the buttons were covered with satin as well. The fabric was smooth and almost shiny.

Sakura stood up, blushing, and shyly took his arm. She was wearing a pair of white knee-length shorts and a red top that had been placed in her closet with a note attached telling her it was her medic's "uniform". She felt very underdressed.

"Do you like my outfit? It's the latest in fashion, so I'm told. Deidara took me to the tailor to have several suits fitted for 'escorting'." Kakashi noticed his girlfriend's reaction and was quite proud of himself.

Sakura ran her hands across the fabric. "Is this silk?"

"No, it's wool, but it's very smooth. I'm hoping I get to keep it." He gave her a big smile.

"I hope you do too. It feels _so_ good." She moved in closer to him, rubbing her face on his shoulder and purring as he wrapped his arm around her.

Kakashi gulped. If he knew that a simple suit would do this to her… Okay, so it wasn't a simple suit. The price tag to the hotel was 50,000 ryou. And he had five of them. Not to mention the various accessories that Deidara had said they also needed.

"Are we really going out to eat?" Sakura doubted they would be allowed in the hotel restaurant.

"Well, no. But I can still escort my favorite lady to our apartment's dining room." Kakashi spoke cheerfully.

"That sounds so comforting, Kakashi."

"Huh? What does?"

"The word 'our'." Sakura purred again and Kakashi gulped again. He was _really_ going to have to find a way to keep at least one of the silk suits. Even if he had to steal it. He was a ninja after all, and it was okay if ninja stole, right? Right? He sighed. Maybe if he spoke to Lady Suzu she would understand and he could make payments.

A few minutes later, back at the apartment the gathered ninjas were witness to a very romantically involved make-out session when the elevator doors opened and Sakura and Kakashi were seen passionately kissing. Without the pair even being aware anything was going on the doors closed on them.

Naruto gave everyone an evil grin. "Come on!" he led them to the elevator and made everyone stand as close as possible to the doors. He pressed the button to open the doors. Kakashi was planting kisses along Sakura's throat as she lightly moaned his name.

"I think you missed a spot." Naruto said.

"I'm getting there Sakura." Kakashi spoke in a seductive voice, unaware that it had been Naruto who had spoken.

"So, Sasuke." Sai asked in is usual monotone voice. "Is this the typical pre-mating ritual known as 'foreplay'?"

"Yes Sai, it is. Note the closeness of the bodies, deep breathing, roaming hands, closed eyes, and Sakura's leg wrapped around Kakashi's thigh." Sasuke spoke as if he were giving a lecture.

Itachi spoke up. "Also note Kakashi's shirt has been pulled open and his hand is now underneath Sakura's shirt. A classic move known for thousands of years." His voice was also lecturing.

"Hmm. I don't know un." Deidara's face scrunched in thought. "I think those kisses are little too chaste un. I take it they haven't gone all the way yet un?"

"No. She says she's waiting until marriage." Naruto answered with an amused tone.

"If you ask me, they better have the wedding quick." Kisame laughed.

Kabuto smirked. "Well, one of the chefs is an ordained priest, I could call him and have him come up during his break tonight. They wouldn't happen to be Jashinists would they?"

At this point Kakashi and Sakura pulled away from each other and looked at the throng of grinning "admirers". Sakura's face turned bright red.

"How…how long have you been standing there?" She asked quietly.

"Hmm. Long enough, I guess. Would you like to come out and have dinner now, or should I put yours in the refrigerator and you guys can heat it up later?" Naruto laughed at them as he spoke.

Sakura pushed her way past them, pulling Kakashi with her. He was busy rearranging his clothes and pulling his mask back up. Trying to ignore the smirks of the men behind them they walked to the dining room and sat down.

After dinner, Naruto and Kisame had to return to work in the pool and Itachi insisted that Sai learn how to make the hotel's signature drink, which included lighting it on fire. For some reason Sai seamed to have a mental block when it came to fire and he kept lighting himself up instead. Sasuke went with them so he could laugh (well, "smirk", an Uchiha never did anything as common as "laugh") at Sai. He took several tubes of burn cream, bandages and a fire extinguisher. Deidara had a "date" with one of the women from the tea party who wanted to "model" for him. Kabuto was feeling embarrassed about cutting his finger off earlier and was hiding in his room. That left Kakashi and Sakura in the living room. However, both were feeling very sleepy.

Turning on the TV they tried to watch "Ninja versus Samurai", a reality show about fifteen ninja's who must compete with fifteen samurai to prove which group is better. But since neither of them was really interested in reality shows they quickly fell asleep in each others arms. It had been a long and interesting day.

"See, Kisame?" Naruto said a few hours later when then two of them returned. "That is why Hinata and I skip the movie and go straight to the sex. All TV does is put you sleep. It's a great birth-control device, if you ask me."

"Hmm." Kisame grinned broadly. "So when is the baby due?"

"Umm. Baby!" Naruto yelled. "I didn't say anything about a b…b…baby!"

"I hope it's a boy!" Kisame yelled back as he walked down the hall to his room.

Naruto frowned and entered his own room. "Hinata is not pregnant. Not yet anyway!" Smiling he picked up the picture of his girlfriend and kissed it, setting it tenderly back on his nightstand.

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Next week – something else happens! Also, we find out why the criminals are being so "well-behaved".

50,000 ryou is about 500.00

For the sake of reviews -

Okay – queue the music – Kakashi will remove his…Jounin Vest and throw it into the crowded club! Who will catch it? Only the reviewers! (Don't forget to check the pockets for surprises!)


	6. Chapter 6 Shock

Thanks for all the reviews and fav's! They are so much fun to read! I'm so grateful (wipes away tear then hugs cat extra hard)

Kakashi has agreed to do a strip-tease for reviews. Every chapter he will remove a piece of clothing. Read on and at the end of each chapter see what else he will take off. o.O

Kishimoto owns everything.

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Chapter 6 - Shock

Another week passed, finding the Konoha nin's fitting into their new roles and adjusting to life in the hotel. Naruto finally mastered the fine art of dispensing towels to eight-year-olds without drowning, Sai learned to make the hotel's signature drink without causing himself bodily injury and Sasuke hadn't tried to kill his brother. Sakura was enjoying herself watching soap opera's in the morning and being a medic in the afternoon.

Kakashi, however, was starting to have problems.

"Escorting" as the copy-nin discovered, was actually a date without the "benefits". However, a lot of the women still wanted hugs and kisses. Deidara was a natural, exuding charm at the drop of a hat he had all his "dates" swooning within seconds of being introduced.

Well, Kakashi wasn't doing too badly himself, but he was a little self-conscious. He felt like he was cheating on Sakura. He compared every woman to her and they were all coming up short. It really wasn't a fair comparison, though. After all, a lot of the women he escorted were in their fifties and older. Deidara insisted on taking the younger ones.

Then there was Sakura herself. She had become a little distant since the incident in the elevator. When questioned she had said that she felt things were moving too fast. Well, he could probably understand. All of them had problems with relationships after dealing with years of betrayal and hardships. He sometimes wondered why they weren't locked in straightjackets in some insane asylum.

Kakashi solved his problem with Sakura by backing off on the "intense" make-out sessions, but he still insisted on touching. He told her that she would get used to him that way. She had thought about it for a minute, then agreed. They had only been a couple for a few weeks, and he admitted that he was used to moving much more quickly with his previous dates. However, Sakura wasn't a "date", she was the woman he wanted to spend his life with. Although he hadn't told her yet.

Kakashi and Deidara had just said goodbye to their escorts and were sitting in the lounge in the check-in area people watching. Which was really just another word for goofing off. After about ten minutes Kakashi decided to ask the mad bomber a question that had been on his mind.

"Why are you and the other's being such good little boys and not causing trouble?"

"Huh?" Deidara scowled. He knew he would eventually be asked that by Kakashi, but he didn't really feel like answering.

"Really, I want to know."

"Do you know what Akatsuki was?" He relented. The sooner he answered, the sooner he would get it over with.

Kakashi frowned. "Yes, a ruse of Madara Uchiha to take over the world."

"That was 500 times more than what I knew."

"What?" Kakashi was surprised.

"When I died. No… before I died un. When I was a kid, barely twelve years old I was recruited by Itachi to be Sasori's partner un. I did not want to join. I despised Itachi every god damned day un and made his death my ultimate goal in life un. About Akatsuki I was told, and believed un, that it was an organization set on remaking the world to be controlled by ninja without the big villages. I could get jobs without prejudice and my art could grow un. I believed that. I eventually came to even support it un."

Deidara scowled and looked at the ground with a sad face. "When I was revived I learned the truth un. I discovered the truth about Itachi. I was bitter for a long time, but now. Now I think I just want to live. And love and laugh and do all the things I didn't do while I was a hostage in that organization un.

"Kisame is having the hardest time of it un. He was in longer than me and saw himself as a kind of pseudo father-figure or older brother to Itachi. Being much older he had watched over the kid since he was eleven un. Maybe even younger, I don't know. All I know is hearing them argue one day and Kisame using the phrase 'you were like a kid brother to me, why did you keep all that from me' un. Then to discover all the things that were kept from him un. They still haven't really patched things up yet. Probably never will un. Although, for all that Kisame is adjusting pretty good. He enjoys working at the pool with the kids. He would make a great sensei I think un. Very patient, believe it or not. Maybe he should get married and have ten or twelve kids.

"Itachi is friendlier un, since he doesn't have any stress on him anymore, but he burned so many bridges without learning how to build new ones that he's stuck on an island waiting for someone to build him a bridge un. He sort of has a girlfriend. One of the waitresses comes to see him at the bar every night at closing and they have a drink together un. Sometimes go off together for a few hours.

"Kabuto…Suzu was told to kill him after he was brought back un. The man was Orochimaru's right hand, and then after the snake died he... well… Instead Suzu did something to limit his chakra so that he is unable to function as a ninja un. He makes stupid mistakes now, like cutting himself or pulling muscles. He can't heal himself or anything either. I don't know his story un. He doesn't open up very easily and he seems kind of bitter. I remember him from when he was Sasori's spy and he was very unhappy then, so I guess compared to that he seems much happier now un."

Kakashi smiled. "Well, that was more than I expected to hear from you. But I believe you. Jiraiya had heard that some of the members were being strong-armed into joining. I guess it is all in the past now. What is your future? Have you been told?"

"Nothing definite un. I wouldn't mind staying here. Or perhaps going somewhere I could live alone and practice my art again un. There is a girl I like un…but I'm sure she wants to kill me un, and anyway if I leave I'll be hunted. I think Itachi would really like to be with Sasuke and rebuild the clan perhaps with his waitress friend un, but that is just my guess based on the amount of time he has been spending with Sasuke lately. He never talks about the future though. Kisame told me he would like to be a sensei. Kabuto enjoys the kitchen and being a chef. He is amazingly good at it as well un."

"Hmm. I think you guys may end up here for the next forty years. But I guess it could be worse – although you've probably heard that a hundred times by now."

"A thousand actually un." Deidara looked back up at Kakashi and the copy-nin was surprised to see a sad look in his eyes.

Deidara quickly recovered his cheerful-looking smile. "But I don't mind un…" His smile quickly disappeared. "I do get tired sometimes though. Like my life isn't real and I'm not really here. Like, I could disappear. Perhaps it's just trauma or something."

"It's okay. I've had several near-death experiences in my line of work and I sometimes feel that way for a month or two after being healed. Like, the sun is brighter, or the grass greener. That kind of thing."

"Yeah!" Deidara nearly shouted. "That's it un. That's how I feel un."

They sat in silence for a while, not feeling like moving. The lobby was nicely air conditioned and even though part of it was torn up due to water damage and construction it was relaxing. Eventually Deidara stood up to go back upstairs to the apartment leaving Kakashi to his thoughts.

However, he stopped thinking when he saw the words written on the side of the baggage belonging to some new guests who had just walked in.

Raising his shaking hand his eyes opened wide and, voice breaking, read the words "Icha Icha Magazine. My…my favorite magazine in the whole world is here!"

He stared at the bags until they were picked up by several porters, placed on a trolley and rolled away. Coming back to himself he stood up to go back to the apartment.

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Poke. Poke. Poke.

"She's no fun when she's like this." Kisame frowned.

"Let me try." Sai took the long stick and poked the pink-haired female who was currently curled into a fetal position on the floor, one hand tightly holding a piece of paper.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Yeah. She's not yelling at me or anything." Sai frowned slightly.

Deidara walked over holding a glass in his hand. "Here's some ice un. Let me shove a couple cubes down her back." He knelt down and pulled her red shirt open at the neck, then shoved two ice cubes down a few inches.

The three ninja's watched, but there was no reaction.

"Has anyone read the piece of paper she's holding?" Sai asked.

"No." Deidara answered.

"Why?"

Kisame shrugged and answered calmly. "Don't care." He continued to poke the woman. "This is kind of fun though."

"Where did you find the stick?" Sai was wondering why poking Sakura was so much fun.

"Just found it. Doesn't matter. God I miss Samehada. Now that was fun to use to poke people with. Especially Itachi. He usually got mad when I poked him."

"So you stopped doing it?"

"No. Why should I? He was such an emotionless son of a bitch that making him mad was kind of fun in a sick sense."

"I bet he hurt you."

"I got thick skin." Kisame gave Sai a big grin.

"Hi guys, what's going on? You wouldn't believe who I just saw… OH MY GOD! What happened to Sakura?" Kakashi had just sauntered into the apartment.

Kisame blinked twice at the man's outburst then held the stick out to him. "Here. You want to poke her for a while? My arm is getting tired."

Kakashi took the stick then moved it toward the woman, who was still lying on the floor in a fetal position clutching her paper. He came to his senses and threw the stick away. "No I don't want to poke her! What's wrong with you people?"

"My stick! Be careful, you'll break it." Kisame walked over to where the discarded stick lay and picked it up.

"Got an attachment to long thin objects? Does that mean your penis is also…" Sai didn't get to finish his sentence. However he did get to take a long six hour nap courtesy of a punch that knocked ten feet across the room and into a wall (which now sported a nice body sized crack).

Deidara sighed out of boredom and watched as Kabuto removed the piece of paper from Sakura's hand and read the contents out loud.

"It is from Lady Suzu. She says that 'Icha Icha Magazine' is here to take photo's of Sakura for a 'fountain' article to be included in their annual 'swimsuit' edition. She goes on to say that the magazine has been inundated with thousands of letters from people wanting to know more about the woman that has become the pin-up girl of bingo books."

Sasuke, Naruto and Itachi got up from the couch and walked over and joined the group staring down at Sakura. Itachi knelt down next to her and activated his Sharingan. "She's getting cold."

"Can you use your Mangekyou Sharingan to make her feel better instead a torture thing?" Naruto asked. He was very worried.

"Well, first of all, I had actually tried it that way once and it didn't work. Second, I don't have Mangekyou Sharingan anymore as I transferred it over to Sasuke before I died the first time." Itachi stood up and looked at his brother. "I hope you haven't been using it since Madara died."

"No, Itachi. I have no desire to go blind. I only use it in dire emergencies. I guess only twice in the last few years."

"I'm taking Sakura to her room." Kakashi bent down and picked his girlfriend up off the floor.

"Make sure you lock her in." Naruto said.

"Why?" Kakashi turned around and looked at the younger man.

"When she comes out of her coma she's going to be madder than the time Sai…um…" Naruto looked around at the criminal's who were suddenly all ears. "Just madder than _that_ time."

Kakashi paused in thought. "I'll stay with her until she returns to herself."

"Okay. If you need me I'll be hiding under my bed!" Naruto yelled at Kakashi as he disappeared down the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

"So what did Sai do?" Deidara asked, snickering.

Naruto and Sasuke answered at the same time in a very, very serious tone. "You do not want to know."

"Why exactly is Sai still alive?" Kisame looked at the "napping" Konoha nin.

"Blind luck? Seriously, I can't figure it out either. It's hard to imagine, but sometimes he's dummer than Naruto." Sasuke answered.

"Yeah, I know!" Naruto blinked twice, thought for a minute, blinked again. "Hey! You just insulted me!"

Kabuto frowned and went back to kitchen to finish preparing dinner. "And yet the world continues to turn."

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Kakashi sat on the bed with his back against the wall. Sakura was sitting between his legs with her back against his chest. She had woken up from her "coma" and was currently imagining every bad thing that could happen if she posed naked for "Icha Icha Magazine".

"Sakura, the note didn't say they wanted you naked." Kakashi decided that since she wasn't speaking yet, perhaps he would take a guess about what was bothering her. Luckily he was right.

"But what else would they want? Kakashi, their annual 'swimsuit' issues don't have a single swimsuit in them! The girls are all naked!" Sakura said in a small voice.

Kakashi couldn't think of anything to say to that. He had actually forgotten that little fact, despite the fact that he owned every 'swimsuit' issue the magazine ever published. An image of a naked Sakura posing on the beach came to him and he quickly stretched his hand out to grab a tissue from the nightstand to wipe his nosebleed.

Sakura noted the man's silence, and his sudden grab for the tissue box. "You're imagining me naked in that magazine aren't you!" She stood up quickly and pointed her finger at him.

"Of course I am! You're my girlfriend! How am I supposed to imagine you? In sensible underwear with a long skirt, lace-up shoes, and a long sleeved turtleneck and baggie sweater? How about some glasses, no make-up, and a sensible hair-do? Working at a library?"

"Librarians are not prudes!"

"I know they aren't I've dated a couple….uh…I mean…" Kakashi knew he had his foot in his mouth clear up to the hip.

"Get OUT!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Sakura, I'm really sorry." He stood up and reached out to touch her shoulder, but she stepped back and pointed to the door.

"NOW!" She yelled even louder.

"I'll see you in the morning. Please, just don't jump to any conclusions until you talk to them in the morning." Kakashi walked out into the hall, closing the door softly.

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The next morning Sakura joined Suzu and the editor from "Icha Icha Magazine" for a breakfast meeting. Suzu's little white dog was sitting daintily on the table with her own bowl of kibble and a water dish.

Sakura had not gotten much sleep the night before and was trying, unsuccessfully not to yawn. Suzu was talking non-stop about something that happened between her and her husband and the editor was laughing at the appropriate places. He obviously was trying very hard, almost too hard, to get in the woman's good graces.

Sakura started to get suspicious. If they wanted her for the article, why was Suzu here? The editor hadn't said a thing to her since they were introduced. She picked at her omelet then started to eat it when Suzu grabbed the edge of the plate and scooted it forwards an inch in an unspoken "eat your food don't pick at it".

"So it's agreed then! Tomorrow at 3pm. Sakura will be there, bright eyed and bushy tailed!" Suzu's voice finally made it into Sakura's consciousness.

"What? What is agreed?" Sakura blinked in confusion.

"You, my dear lady, are going to be famous!" The editor looked at her with stars in his eyes.

"What about clothes?" Sakura said weakly.

"Clothes?" The editor was confused.

"I am not going NAKED!" Sakura stood up and yelled. The entire dining went silent. Guests, servers, and even the kitchen staff stopped talking and turned to stare at the pink haired kunoichi. She looked at the people staring at her, and even caught sight of a snickering Kabuto who was standing at the kitchen door in a long white apron. Her face turned red and she slowly sat down.

The talking slowly started up again, but Sakura noticed that the other guests continued to turn their heads and look at her.

The editor smiled. "Of course you won't be naked. Suzu wouldn't allow it. You're like a daughter to her, you know. She said you were still a virgin and it would be inappropriate for us to show you naked before your boyfriend got his chance."

Sakura cringed. _Would the embarrassment never end?_

Whispering, Sakura asked what she would be wearing.

"Swimsuits. You will be the first model in the 'Swimsuit' edition to actually wear a swimsuit. It will be a great angle! Just come onto the roof tomorrow at 3pm. We have our makeup and wardrobe people who will fix you up to begin shooting at 6 or 7. Also, you may bring along any guests you want. It'll be like a party!"

"Thank-you. I will be there on time." She was sure her "guests" were probably going to come whether she invited them or not. And Kakashi. Sakura was sure that the women doing make-up and wardrobe were probably beautiful, glamorous women in the mid or late twenties who would be much more interesting to Kakashi than _she_ was. After all, they worked at his favorite magazine.

Sakura pretty much sulked the rest of the day. She was moving from feeling self-conscious about her lack of curves, to jealousy that Kakashi would find a different more exciting woman, to fear about be photographed nearly naked, to hatred of all the people who wanted to see her nearly naked (or even fully naked).

Suzu had excused Sakura from her duties until the day after the photo shoot so she could rest and build up her strength. She thought Sakura looked a little under-the-weather.

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Sakura woke up around dinner time to a very pleasing scent. Without opening her eyes she breathed deeply. It smelled like roses. Extremely fragrant wonderful roses. Relaxing she continued to breathe in the scent. She was therefore caught off guard when a hand suddenly started stroking her hair.

Opening her eyes, Sakura saw Kakashi laying down next to her on top of the blanket. Between them were a dozen red roses.

"I thought you would need something to cheer you up. Kabuto told me what happened during your breakfast meeting this morning." He bent over and kissed her on the forehead.

"Thank-you Kakashi. It's just been too much of a shock. Everything is moving so fast. Just…just promise you won't fall in love and run off with the make-up and wardrobe ladies tomorrow."

"Not in a million years. Sakura, I am a man and I will stare at other women, but you will always be the one I come home to."

Sakura's eyes teared up and a sob escaped before she could stifle it. "And I'll…I'll wait for you no longer how long it takes for you to come home."

Meanwhile, out in the hallway…

"So what's going on?" Naruto asked Sai. The rest of the ninja's living in the apartment stood behind them waiting for some juicy gossip.

Sai collected his ink mice and waited a minute for the information they had collected while spying on the two love-birds. He closed his eyes, performed a couple hand signs over the scroll and then smiled.

"The jutsu didn't work. I must be getting rusty." He rolled up the scroll and walked away. He had to admit, he liked it when Sakura was happy and right now, she was very happy. Why ruin it?

"What a time for Sai to start developing a conscious." Naruto groused.

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Next week – Photo shoot!

Updates on Fridays.

To thank you for the reviews and in an unabashed bid to get more of them –

Kakashi sways seductively to the music, winking at the readers who are crowding the stage. Reaching out his hands he runs his fingers through your hair, then gives you a kiss on the cheek, allowing you to remove his forehead protector and run _your_ hands through _his_ hair before he stands up and resumes dancing.


	7. Chapter 7 Photo Shoot

Thanks for all the reviews and fav's. They are all great!

Please review!

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto is owned by Naruto

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Chapter 7 – Photo Shoot

Sakura was escorted to the rooftop for the Icha Icha Magazine photo shoot by an entourage of male testosterone. She wasn't sure where the actual "men" were, but she was hoping they would show up eventually. All Kakashi, Naruto, Kisame and Kabuto had talked about all day was the magazine and their favorite models, and their second favorite models, and their third favorite models, and…so on. Sasuke, Sai and Itachi were a little more reserved about it, but, much to Sakura's chagrin, Itachi's "waitress friend" (whose name turned out to be Nami) had insisted on coming to the photo shoot as well. Nami and Sakura had exchanged a knowing look when introduced. They were both a little jealous of the other models/employees that might also be in attendance were intent on protecting their boyfriends from alien influences.

And there were a lot of "aliens". The roof was full of people. Beautiful people. Amazingly beautiful people. They couldn't possibly be earthlings. Sakura and her entourage stopped a few feet from the elevator and stared. The two women felt short, fat and ugly. The seven men felt short, fat and ugly (even seven foot tall Kisame felt like he had just shrunk two feet).

"Psst! Over here!" A voice broke them out of their shock. It was Kankuro, standing off to the side. Standing next to him was the Kazekage himself, Gaara, and Temari. Gaara seemed unaffected, but if you looked closer you could see his face was a little pink and his eyes were looking at the ground instead of straight ahead. Temari was standing uncharacteristically behind her brothers, hiding.

Sakura glanced at Deidara and saw that he was now staring intently at Temari. Oddly enough, when Temari noticed he was staring at her she glanced at him with a look that was sad. This surprised Deidara and he blushed slightly, then smiled at her. Temari smiled back, but her frown quickly returned. Kankuro noticed and gave Deidara a quick death stare before returning to his conversation with Naruto.

Kakashi sighed, causing Sakura to turn around and look at him. "So that is Deidara's 'crush'" He said quietly.

"You just now figured it out? I saw it on our first day." Sakura smiled at him. "But don't worry, they'll be together by the time I leave."

Kakashi laughed. "Oh, I wasn't worried, believe me. However, it appears Kankuro has also figured it out. You've got a lot of hurdles to cross."

"Hmm…Too bad Ino isn't here. She would have so much fun." Sakura continued to look around. "I wonder what I'm supposed to do? They don't seem to have noticed I've arrived. Oh, wait, that's the editor." She lifted her arm in the air and waved at him.

"Sakura! Sakura! Sakura! Glad to see you have arrived!" The busy man walked over very quickly, followed…well, whatever they were there were five of them and they followed him carrying clipboards, cell phones, briefcases, water bottles and file folders.

"Hello. Um…" Sakura couldn't remember his name, but he didn't notice.

"Call me Bunmei. Now, you must be Kakashi, Sakura's boyfriend. Now don't you worry, Lady Suzu made us promise that nothing you haven't seen yet on her will be visible to the camera's." He smiled broadly, obviously proud of his discretion.

Kakashi was a little taken aback and it took him a second to find his voice. "Umm. Well, nice to meet you and thank-you for modifying your article."

"I believe you are the same Kakashi who was a friend to the late Jiraiya. I am grateful to that man for allowing me to continue managing his empire. Lord knows his heir doesn't seem to care about anything that goes on." He gave Naruto, who was still gossiping with Gaara and Kankuro a dirty look.

Sakura cleared her throat. "Wait. You mean Naruto owns Icha Icha?" She spoke a little louder than she intended and several people turned around to look at her. Including Naruto.

"Oh. Didn't you know that?" Naruto asked her with a big grin. "Jiraiya left me almost his entire estate."

"Arghhhh!" Sakura moaned. "This is all your fault!"

"Yeah!"

"I ought to rip you apart…." Kakashi grabbed Sakura and kissed her, effectively stopping her tirade.

"Now go play with the make-up people while I deal with things here." He smiled, creasing his eyes as he did so.

She sighed in frustration. "Okay. Might as well. Too late to argue now." Bunmei led her to a white tent on the other side of the roof.

"Whew that was close Naruto. How come you never told Sakura you owned the Icha Icha empire?" Kakashi looked at the blond male who was still smiling.

"I guess, I was afraid she would kill me. Hinata is a sweet and proper girl, but she threatened to castrate me when she found out. She even pulled a kunai out to make her point. And her father! He threatened to put the Hyuuga cursed seal on 'Little Naruto' and activate it."

Sai blinked in confusion. "Who's 'Little Naruto'?"

Naruto gave the stoic man an odd look. "My dick."

"You named your penis? And out of all the names in the world you picked 'Little Naruto'?"

Everyone stared at Sai, smirking.

"Oh, well, Sai it's really more of a euphemism…" Naruto was cut off by Kisame.

"Of course adult males name their dicks. Didn't you?" Kisame laughed at the younger man.

"Oh. So is yours named 'blue balls'?" Sai had such an innocent look on his face that it took Kisame a minute to realize what he had said.

"Why you little bastard! I'll ring your neck!" He moved to step forward but Sasuke stepped in his way.

"Sai. It is of vast importance that you name your penis." Sasuke spoke seriously. "In choosing a name you must consider size, virility, attractiveness to women, sexual activity, and your general personality."

Sai was listening very carefully. The other men were trying not to laugh. Temari and Nami were both looking at the ground shaking their heads in disbelief.

"So what names did you all pick?" Sai asked.

"Oh, we can't tell you that until you pick a name. It's an age old male tradition. When a man comes of age he divulges the name of his penis and then the other males will tell him theirs." Sasuke was laying it on so thick he was starting to think Sai would never fall for it.

Kakashi joined in. "Tonight, you must have a name picked out."

"Yes. I will think about and have a name by tonight." Sai gave the men a big smile.

Deidara lost it. He leaned forward and put his forehead on Kisame's back and started laughing. Kabuto joined him a minute later. Everyone else was still trying to keep a straight face.

"What are they laughing about?" Sai asked.

"They are laughing at you for not already having a name." Itachi's grave expression shocked Sai.

"I…um…okay." Sai turned away and Itachi smirked, this time his teeth were even visible. It almost looked like the elder Uchiha was trying not to laugh. Nami whispered something in his ear and he snorted, quickly raising his hand to cover his mouth.

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"Here. Put this one on first." A black handkerchief was handed to Sakura. At least that was what it looked like. Closer inspection showed it to be a thong and a strapless top.

Sakura's face turned beet red. "I'm not wearing this! In fact, there is no physical way to wear something like this!"

"Oh come on. Quit griping. Just try it on. I just hope it doesn't cover too much." The wardrobe lady Osami didn't seem to get the point Sakura was trying to make.

Removing her robe, Sakura slid on the thong and the top. She looked at herself in the full length mirror. Her rear was completely exposed. She reached to grab the robe, but Osami pulled it out of her reach the pushed her out of the tent. Sakura was taken by surprise and stumbled, almost falling.

A large blue backdrop was setup on one side of the roof. Apparently that was where the photo's were to be taken because there were a couple dozen different type of photographic equipment.

"Why are there video cameras?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

Bunmei answered. "It's another new angle. A special 'Making of Icha Icha Swimsuit Edition'. Only ten thousand will be made. Unless they all sell out, then we'll order more. Great idea, huh!" The man was very proud of himself.

Sakura tried to answer but no sound would come out of her mouth.

"Oh, by the way Sakura, I think that swimming suit covers up too much. Osami? Do we have a different suit?"

Osami sighed. "No, we don't. They were picked over by Lady Suzu earlier."

Bunmei's eyes opened big for a second then he smiled. "Oh. Of course. Lady Suzu has the best of taste. Why that suit is perfect. And all the others. Nothing but the best taste! That's what everyone says about Lady Suzu!" He was talking in a fast, nervous voice.

The photographer led Sakura to her spot, instructing her on how to pose for the camera. Kakashi and the others had walked over and Bunmei showed them where to stand to get the best view.

And what a view it was! Ten nose-bleeds later the men stood in a row with tissues wadded in their nostrils watching the nearly naked Sakura. She had seen their rather open display of lust and wished, for the six millionth time that they hadn't come. It was bad enough knowing that her picture would be in magazines and a video, but having a live audience was humiliating.

After the fifth costume change Sakura was starting to feel a little more comfortable. Bunmei said they would go through about twenty of the swimming suits then the editorial staff would review the prints and decide what would be included in the magazine.

Half-way through the photo shoot a thirty minute break was called. Light refreshments were presented to the guests and staff. Naruto, Kankuro and Kisame took one look at the spread, called it squirrel food and left, opting for the contents of the refrigerator in the apartment. Sakura hoped that didn't mean they were going down to open some beers.

"They aren't going to go down and get drunk, are they?" Temari voiced Sakura's concerns.

Kakashi looked up at her, which was difficult considering his neck seemed to have adjusted itself permanently to about waist high (Sakura's waist, that is). Rubbing his neck to work out the kinks he contemplated the possibilities of three drunk, outgoing, overbearing ninja at a photo shoot and laughed. It was a very funny thought.

However… "I don't think they can get very drunk in thirty minutes time, Temari."

"Yeah. Probably not." She was still worried.

"Would you like me to check on them un?" Deidara had moved closer and, keeping one eye on Gaara spoke to the pigtailed blonde.

Temari looked at him, thinking about his suggestion. "No. That's okay. I think Kakashi is right." She smiled and looked at Deidara for a couple seconds before looking away. "But thanks for asking."

Gaara spoke up. "Well, technically you aren't supposed to have liquor." He glanced at the three bartenders who, along with Nami, were standing apart from everyone else. "But I suppose that would be the most difficult rule to enforce."

Deidara gave Gaara a big smile. "It's okay. We don't drive."

Gaara sighed in boredom. He wasn't one for small talk.

"So, Sakura, how are you holding up?" Kakashi asked.

"Let's just say I'm glad I'm a kunoichi and not a model. Kakashi, the publicity is going to be terrible! When that magazine and video hit there are going to be dozens of people crowding the hotel to see me! How am I going to escape them…" She went silent. "Kakashi, could this whole thing be nothing more than free advertising for Lady Suzu's husband's hotel?"

Gaara answered. "Of course it is. The woman is insane and she has a huge amount of political clout over the five nations. I swear, she is running the world and we are all sitting back in our deluded little realities trying to pretend she isn't."

"Interesting." Kakashi filed away the information for later.

"Hey Sakura!" Sai yelled over to her excitedly. "Tonight, at the dinner party, I'm going to announce the name of my dick!"

The second half of the photo shoot went a little slower than the first half. Sakura couldn't stop laughing for more than a few minutes at a time. Naruto, Kankuro and Kisame, while not drunk were pretty much on their way to getting there. The three men were loud, joking with each other and being generally boisterous. Sai kept smiling. Sasuke, Itachi, Kabuto and Deidara were dividing their time between watching Sakura and watching the three stooges… er… drunks.

All through the distractions, Kakashi kept his eyes on Sakura. When she laughed, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He spoke with Bunmei and made arrangements to get copies of the prints. He even talked the photographer into getting some shots of Sakura's face. He imagined a whole wall filled with nothing but happy Sakuras.

After the last shot was taken, Bunmei got everyone together so the photographer could take several group photos. He even took several pictures of Sakura and Kakashi, and Itachi and Nami. Deidara even managed to wrangle some pictures of himself and Temari before Kankuro could notice.

While the photographer packed his equipment, Bunmei informed Sakura that all the swim suits and accessories picked for the shoot were hers to keep. She looked at the long rack of clothing. What was she going to do with so many swim suits?

Kakashi had an answer. He started picking through them, finding several that he would love to see Sakura in. Sakura blushed at the sight of her boyfriend picking out skimpy, almost non-existent clothing for her. In front of everyone.

Deidara was also eyeing the rack, but this made Sakura smile.

"Okay, I can't wear all of them so if there's something you want, go ahead and take it!" Sakura laughed.

"Are you sure?" Temari asked.

"Yeah! There's like, five million articles of clothing there, I can't possibly wear it all."

Deidara moved in quick, pulled out a blue suit with small white polka-dots and held it out in front of him a couple feet. Sakura glanced over to see what he was doing and saw that the suit superimposed itself over Temari. He then smiled and, making a gap in the clothing rack put it back. Temari then wandered over pretending to look at something else and grabbed the suit. They did that five more times. Gaara saw everything, but Kankuro was too busy joking around with Kisame. Which was probably a good thing, considering how skimpy the three swim suits and two see-through cover-ups were.

Itachi and Nami were a little more up-front. Itachi stated his opinion of swim suits very matter-of-factly. "Nami, you look better when you swim in the nude. I don't care what you pick out." Nami blushed, and picked out some suits anyway.

Naruto also grabbed some. Although Sasuke helped Naruto a little. The thought of poor Hinata having to wear something picked out by her half-drunk boyfriend moved Sasuke to pity.

Sasuke then picked some out for his fiancé. Well, no one had met her and he rarely talked about her, but if she ever showed up she would now have something to wear to the pool. To tell the truth, Sakura and Ino suspected he made her up to keep the fan girls away. Of course, if that was the reason it wasn't working. While the two women no longer chased after their old crush, many other women had stepped up to take their place.

Kakashi joined Sakura and showed her his selections. She smiled shyly and said they were nice.

"What are you going to do with the rest?" Kakashi asked her.

"I think I'll box them up and send them back to Konoha. Ino will have fun matching them up with our friends. She loves playing with clothes."

"You spoil your friends, you know that?" He bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

"And my enemies apparently." She smiled as she saw Kabuto holding up a purple swim suit in front of Kisame and laughing. Kisame held his hands out, posing.

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Dinner was at eight pm sharp. Sakura even managed to get Kakashi there on time. Lady Suzu and her husband the Daimyou were in attendance, as was Gaara and his siblings, the Konoha ninja and the resurrected criminals. The little white dog was sitting on the table next to Lady Suzu, with her own dishes filled with kibble.

The long table was in a private dining room. The table and chairs were highly polished antique cherry wood. The plates were antique china from an old dynasty that existed before the ninja world. The tableware was solid gold, and the chopsticks had the most beautiful lacquer finish. Each course was served separately in a formal, old-fashioned order that made everyone except the two hosts uncomfortable.

The Daimyou was a surprise to Sakura. The man was supposed to be in his sixties, but he was built. A former body-builder he still had a handsome face, well-toned muscles, black hair (dyed obviously) and very few wrinkles. Sakura silently congratulated Lady Suzu on her choice of men. She had a feeling Kakashi would look just as good when he got older.

After the last course had been consumed Sai cleared his throat.

Lady Suzu quickly smiled. "Oh yes, Sai has an announcement for everyone. He told me all about it and I must say, it is big news."

"Oh my god!" Sakura said under her breath. She grabbed Kakashi's hand under the table and whispered to him. "He's not really going to do it is he? Not in front of the Daimyou and Lady Suzu!" She looked across the table at Sasuke who, for some reason, was no longer enjoying his little joke. In fact, he looked horrified. Itachi was holding his head in his hands and Nami was sitting next to him with her hand on his shoulder. Naruto was staring straight ahead, his eyes bugging out about a foot. The rest were smirking. They didn't mind a little embarrassment. In fact, they were wishing Sai would hurry up and speak.

Sai stood up, gently pushing his chair back. Putting on a big smile he looked around the room. "I know you have all been waiting for this all day. Therefore, here it is. The name of my penis is…" He paused for a minute. "None of your business!" Naruto and Sasuke fell out of their chairs and everyone else looked at Sai in shock. "Thought you got me with that one didn't you! Ha, ha ha ha! Jokes on you this time!" Sai bowed to the Daimyou and Lady Suzu then sat back down. The couple started laughing.

"Ah Suzu. You were right, this group does remind me of our dear children. Thank-you for making me come." The Daimyou was laughing so hard he had to wipe his eyes.

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Well, Sai managed to relax Sakura enough to actually enjoy the photo shoot, and he got back at his tormentors.

Next week – the coveted Swimsuit edition of Icha Icha Magazine comes out. Who will Kakashi choose? Magazine Sakura, or real Sakura? And is he serious about wanting to plaster pictures of Sakura over a wall?

For the sake of reviews…

Kakashi drops down to his knees leaning forward into the crowd. The people in the crowd reach up and undo his shirt buttons. One by one the buttons spring free. Standing up he dances, swinging his hips back and forth and his open shirt sways in the breeze of the club's fans. Finally, he drops his shoulders back and the shirt falls off his back. Revealing, wow. OMG is he ever built! Perfectly formed abs, amazing arms, that ANBU tattoo is so sexy! His back looks so touchable! Okay, so far he is perfect.


	8. Chapter 8 Magazine

Thanks for the reviews and fav's! Kakashi is also thankful and you will see more of his strip-tease at the end of the story.

Recommended music: Ballroom Blitz by "The Sweet" (yeah it's old, but it's just such a good song! Sometimes you need good old rock'n'roll.)

Disclaimer: Kishimoto is owned by Naruto.

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Chapter 8 - Magazine

True to form, time has a way of speeding up when you want it to slow down, and no matter how much Sakura prayed for the Icha Icha Swimsuit edition release date to _not_ come, it came. With much fanfare. The hotel was decorated with huge fifteen foot photos of Sakura. The fountain now had a commemorative plaque. The gift shop even printed up post cards. Some were of "swimsuit" Sakura, and others were of "bingo book" Sakura. The restaurant and bar even had "Sakura" entrées and drinks. And there was _pink_ everywhere.

Sakura dealt with it all by hiding. The super-strong, forthright, up-front kunoichi who never let anyone get the better of her was currently in her room with the curtains drawn and the door locked. Tomorrow the magazine would be released and the young woman predicted disaster.

_Tap, tap, tap_. The sound had been coming from the window for the last three hours. _Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap_. Curiosity finally got the better of her as she opened the curtain a couple inches. Sakura saw three men on a scaffold. They were holding a sheet ('Housekeeping is going to love that' Sakura thought) that had the words "Sakura please marry me!" written on it in messy kanji.

Three husbands. Hmmm. She thought of Kakashi. Four husbands.

_Tap, tap, tap_. This time the sound came from the door. She walked over and looked through the peephole, the opened the door a few inches and pulled him in.

"Kakashi, if I had four husbands what would you think?" She asked quietly. She was also a little leary of speaking too loud in case there were more admirers hiding…somewhere.

Kakashi looked at the woman with concern. "Sakura, have you been drinking?"

"Not yet. Want to go out later?"

"Yeah, sure." He calculated that if they went to the bar after 9pm it would be dark and Sakura might feel better. And they could get some burgers or something.

"You didn't answer my question."

"About four husbands?" He thought about it for a minute. "Well, I would have someone to watch soccer with, and if the roof needs fixing I can have one of the other guys do it. Um…There would always be someone home to watch the kids. And well, if you are really into that kind of thing the third Icha Icha book has a scene with one woman and two guys…."

Sakura's eyes widened in disbelief. "You pervert! Aren't you supposed to be jealous?"

Kakashi gave her a serious look. "Not me. Now, which one of the other guys would you like to have over to…" He didn't get to finish the sentence. Sakura grabbed him by the back collar of his shirt and threw him out into the hall and slammed the door.

Kakashi quickly re-opened the door and threw a book into the room. "Chapter Seven! Be ready at 9 for the bar." He smiled at his blushing girlfriend and walked away, leaving the door wide open.

Sakura picked up the book and turned the pages. "As if I would read this. Oh my god it really does have a scene like…that…I…" Her voice trailed off as she read. "I supposed you could add two more guys…if…they…"

"So who are the lucky guys?" Deidara and Kisame were standing at her door smiling broadly.

Sakura's face turned red.

"Sakura," Kisame chuckled "remember now. _Thinking_ is when you talk in your head. What you were doing now is called _speaking_."

"I know the difference between speaking and thinking!" Sakura yelled.

"Oh good. Then we'll see you tonight. Let's see," Deidara looked at Kisame "you, me, Kakashi, and we'll need one more."

"Get out of here!" She slammed the door in their faces. Muffled laughter could be heard from the other side of the door. Sakura sighed and threw the book onto the dresser. Then she chuckled softly. It was funny, actually.

Glancing out the window she saw the three prospective grooms were still there, but a security man was now using chakra to walk across the side of the building to talk to them.

"Wait, that's not security, it's Kakashi!" He gave her a "thumbs up" before he turned to speak to the three men. Their eyes widened in fear as Kakashi made a "scissors" movement with one hand and they dropped the sheet and activated the gearbox on the scaffold, raising it back up to the roof. Sakura wondered briefly what Kakashi was pretending to cut, but decided that some things were best left unknown.

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The bar that night was packed. Luckily it was also dimly lit. Itachi, Sasuke and Sai were busy taking orders and mixing drinks. The four barmaids were busy wandering through the crowd. Usually there was only one on duty, but Itachi had called the other three to come in because of the large crowd. Nami was sitting at one end of the bar reading a book.

Kakashi guided Sakura to an empty table by the wall. She had pulled her hair up in a bun and covered it with a floppy hat. It wasn't particularly stylish, but hopefully it was anonymous.

After ordering their drinks and some hamburgers and fries they looked around at the crowd. Kisame and Naruto were sitting together near the jukebox. Deidara was flirting with a couple girls while a man about ten feet from him glared. Kabuto was sitting with some of his co-workers from the kitchen playing poker.

"Everyone is here tonight. It's kind of cheerful." Sakura smiled.

"Yeah. It's not Konoha, but it'll do for now." Kakashi returned her smile and moved his chair so he was sitting next to her.

"Are you homesick? I am."

"I miss the old crowd. We've been here a while, I wonder if they will be coming down to visit soon?"

"You know, we should get Sasuke to invite his invisible girlfriend." Sakura laughed.

"Oh, she's real alright. The problem is Sasuke doesn't want to get married. Not yet anyway."

"So, how does an orphan who lives alone with no relatives get stuck in an arranged marriage anyway? Ino and I wracked our brains one night and we couldn't figure it out."

"Lady Hokage is to blame. She decided she wanted little Uchiha's running around underfoot and hired a 'go-between' to find him a mate." Kakashi now had his arm around Sakura and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Harsh."

"To make matters worse, the girl lives in another village. The ninja's there never joined up with Konoha, but they want to. So the patriarch of the clan is using the marriage to combine clans. It's all political."

"Double harsh."

"But they make a cute couple. He gets all shy around her and she kicks his butt. A match made in heaven." He chuckled. Sasuke definitely needed his butt kicked occasionally. He tended to get a little arrogant on occasion.

Sakura sighed. "Yeah, we gotta get her down here. If for no other reason than to get a good laugh."

"Well, I'll leave that to you then." Kakashi looked over at Deidara. "How long do you suppose it will be before Deidara ends up in Intensive Care tonight? That girl he's hitting on belongs to that guy over there. He's been staring at them for the last ten minutes."

"Oh god. Not again. I've patched him up so many times it's no longer funny." She laughed. "Well, actually it is."

"Ah!" Kakashi watched as the man walked over the Deidara.

"Here it comes. Well, if he wants patched up tonight he's going to have to wait until I finish eating. And drinking. Kakashi? We need some whiskey."

Deidara leaned up against the wall talking to one of the hotel guests. He was busy telling her about his art and how much he would love to paint her when he was rudely interrupted by a man a couple inches shorter and about fifty pounds heavier than himself.

"Thash my gr-fend." He slurred, obviously very drunk. Swaying he extended his arm to hit Deidara, but missed. He twirled around once, then caught Deidara in the face on the rebound.

Deidara was instantly pissed. He had a temper at the best of times, and this was definitely a good time to get mad. Grabbing the drunk by the shirt he punched the man in the stomach, sending through two tables. The three men at the table the drunk hit last stood up, very wet from their spilled drinks and threw the drunk back at Deidara.

"What are you doing, I don't want him!" Deidara grabbed the drunk again and threw him back at the three men.

"Well we don't want him either! You keep him!" They threw him back at Deidara.

"Why do I want him?" Deidara threw him back at the three drunks.

"Hey! Toss him over here!" A man a few tables away stood up on his chair and yelled.

"Okay." The poor drunk was thrown to the new player. Unfortunately he hit another table and spilled more drinks. This time, the wet patron decided to take his aggressions out on the three friends and Deidara, who decided in turn (after picking themselves up off the floor) that the issue needed to be resolved via the age-old custom of a barroom brawl.

Sakura and Kakashi sat at their table and watched the fight. The whiskey bottle sitting on the table was keeping them company.

"I wonder if anyone called security?" Sakura asked, not really caring if they did or not.

"Now it reminds me of Konoha." Kakashi smiled. He was happy he came down for a drink. Glancing over at the bar he saw that Nami was now on the other side of the bar out of the way of the fighting patrons. In fact, Itachi and Nami seemed to be doing something other than bartending or reading.

"Sakura! You'll never believe it! Look at Itachi!" Kakashi quickly pointed in the direction of the bar.

"Oh my god!" Sakura stood up and yelled as loud as she could. "Hey Itachi! Get a room!"

Kakashi laughed. "Are you drunk now, Sakura?"

"Yes. Yes I am. Kakashi look! They're leaving!" Sakura and Kakashi watched as Itachi waved at them then guided Nami out the back door. Sasuke was shaking his head and Sai had his fake smile on.

At that point Naruto was thrown into the wall a few feet away. "Wow! That guy can sure punch! Having a good time Sakura, Kakashi? Watch me get that guy!" He ran back into the throng, looking for the guy who hit him.

Kabuto and his poker buddies were also watching the fight on the other side of the bar. He waved to Sakura and Kakashi, then took a drink as Naruto was knocked into the wall again.

Kakashi laughed. "They're playing a game. Every time Naruto gets hit they take a drink."

"So what's our excuse?" Sakura asked, holding up the empty whiskey bottle. She dropped it, then put her head on the table. Lifting it she smiled at the white haired man in front of her.

"Excuse? It was a premium liquor. It would have been a shame to waste it." Kakashi lifted his hand to hit the table and missed, then fell off his chair.

"It kind of hits you after…after…what was I talking about?" Kakashi climbed clumsily back onto his chair.

Naruto hit the wall again and Sakura turned lazily to look at him. "Oh look. Naruto's back. Hi Naruto!"

"Sakura! I'm almost there! Oi! Kisame! Launch me at that wall over there! I don't think I've hit it yet!"

"All right! Here we go!" Kisame picked the blond man up and threw him across the room. He then picked up another bottle from the bar and put it in front of Sakura. "Here you go, cutey. You still look a little sober."

"Oh. Thanns…than…thanksss. Kisme… kizme…fishy." Sakura lifted the bottle up and poured the "contents" into her glass. Actually, the table. Actually, the bottle was empty.

Kisame bent over double, laughing. He didn't think she would fall for that. Lifting her glass she tried to drink from it.

"Some zing wrong wiss bottle. Kashi whass dis?" Sakura put her head down on the table, eyes half open.

"The bottle ish broken or shum shing." Kakashi upended the bottle trying to figure out why nothing was coming out.

Finally, after an hour the fight died down and some of the stragglers started to help pick things up. Sasuke and Sai came out from behind the bar and started picking up broken glass and sweeping. When everything was finished the remaining customers congratulated each other on the quality of that nights fight and wandered off to wherever it was they came from. Kisame grabbed Kakashi and Naruto carried Sakura and they made their way back to the apartment.

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The next morning Sakura and Kakashi both awoke with terrible hangovers. Sakura was able to counter the effects on both of them somewhat, but not completely. However, by afternoon they were feeling somewhat normal. Which was a good thing because the magazine was going on sale at exactly 3pm, and Sakura had just been informed that she would be distributing the copies in person. In fact, all through the shinobi nations women dressed up as Sakura (complete with pink wigs and green contact lenses) were gearing up for the release.

"Sakura Haruno. Youko Kirimoto here from Casino Town evening news. What's it like to be the newest sex symbol and star of Icha Icha Magazine?" The female report stuck a microphone under the startled Sakura's nose and stood one foot away from her while a cameraman held a video camera on his shoulder than had a very bright light attached to it.

"I'm what?" Sakura was a little taken aback. If she was a sex symbol it was news to her.

"Are you happy? Ecstatic? Do you have a lover? How many times a week do you have sex? What is the largest number of men you have ever…" Sakura grabbed the microphone out of the reporter's hand and threw it.

"Fetch!" Sakura yelled as the microphone arced over the crowd. The reporter ran after it. "Just like a dog." Sakura was pissed. How dare that woman ask questions like that? And it was for the evening news. Children watched that program. Disgusting.

Sakura picked up a copy of the magazine and flipped through it. Her image had been superimposed over several different backgrounds. Including a couple pictures of the fountain before and after it was destroyed. All in all, they weren't that bad. But then she already knew that photo's were often touched up quite a bit before the magazines printed them.

Smiling, Sakura handed the first copy to Kakashi and kissed him on the cheek. It was as far as she wanted to go in public. As it was, everyone in the crowd waiting to get their copy cheered at the couple.

Kakashi opened the magazine and found Sakura's section. He kissed the picture.

"Why did you do that?" Sakura asked.

"This. The pictures are beautiful. I never thought I would be dating a model in Icha Icha magazine. It's a dream come true!" Kakashi was sounding like a fan-boy.

Sakura gave him a dirty look. She didn't know what to think of the man standing in front of her drooling over her pictures.

"Kakashi. I'm right here, live and in person. You don't have to look at the picture."

"Huh?" Kakashi answered, distracted.

"Me, I'm right here!" She spoke a little louder.

"Yeah. Right there. On page 38. Page 39. Page 40. Page 41."

Sakura interrupted him. "Okay. I get the picture."

"Yeah, lots of pictures." He looked up from his magazine with a startled expression on his face. "That reminds me. I wonder if the mail has come yet?" Kakashi wandered away without saying "goodbye".

Sakura stared after him for a minute, then went back to passing out magazines, occasionally signing autographs, and ignoring the dirty looks from the cashier who was having to ring up all the purchases.

A few hours later Sakura made her way up to the apartment. She could hear talking from the hallway beyond the kitchen. Making her way over she saw everyone gathered outside of Kakashi's room.

"What's going on guys?" She asked.

"Oh Sakura! You're home. Look at what Kakashi did. It's amazing!" Naruto stood aside, revealing an entire wall of photographs. There must have been a couple hundred photographs of various sizes tacked to the wall. All of them were of Sakura in various swimming suits. And standing in the middle of the room was Kakashi.

"Kakashi?" Sakura spoke quietly as she approached the still man.

"Sakura?" Kakashi spoke to her, but continued to look at the wall. "I'm dating a model from Icha Icha magazine. Do you know what that means to me? It's a dream come true."

"Yes, you said that earlier."

"A beautiful model. Look at the pictures."

"Kakashi, you are creeping me out."

"Lots and lots of pictures."

"I am really, really creeped out now."

"I could kiss all the pictures, they are here now. They are mine."

Sakura grabbed Kakashi by the shoulders and shook him. "Come out of it, Kakashi! They are just paper. _I'm_ real!"

Kakashi looked down at her. "Yes, real." He lowered his mask, then pulled her up against his body. "You feel real." Lowering his face he caught her lips in an amazing kiss.

Sakura pulled away after a minute. "You're real too."

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but wow! I'm dating a model from Icha Icha magazine!"

Saskura hung her head, but she couldn't keep the smile from playing on her lips.

"It's like…It's like buying your favorite chocolate cake and one day finding out they changed the recipe and added a cream filling. I'm overwhelmed."

"By the way Kakashi, while I was passing out the magazines I received fifty-two marriage proposals." Sakura wrapped her arms around Kakashi's chest and laid her head over his heart. The sound was comforting, as was the feel of his arms as they wrapped around her.

"I'm sorry Sakura, but I think I'm going to have to limit you to one husband. I decided I don't want to share."

"Ah man! Now I gotta go get my own girl." Kisame complained loudly, then walked away laughing. Naruto closed the door on the couple and followed him.

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An unashamed attempt to get reviews:

Kakashi dropped to his knees, legs spread apart. Leaning over the edge of the stage swayed to the music, pulling back if any hands got too close. Standing up again he undid the snap on his jeans, then slowly pulled down the zipper. Looping his fingers in the belt loops he lowered the jeans a few inches, then a few inches more, then a few inches more, then released his fingers and let the pants drop to the floor. Stepping out of them he picked the pants up with the top of his foot and threw them into the crowd. The profile of his long, muscle-clad legs as they flexed with the kick drove the fevered crowd crazy and they pushed to reach the front row for a better view. But only reviews can catch the pants, or see the boxer-clad ninja.


	9. Chapter 9 The New Improved Bingo Book

Thanks for the reviews and fav's!

Wow! I actually finished the chapter on time. It's been a busy week. XD It's a little shorter than usual, and the beginning might be a little too serious, but hopefully the end is light hearted. XD

Disclaimer: Kishimoto is owned by Naruto

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Chapter 9 – The New Improved Bingo Book

It was 3:15am when Sakura's beeper went off. Immediately awake the pink haired medic reached for her phone and dialed the front desk. The beeper had been given to her on her first day so that if there was a medical emergency she could be easily reached.

"Hello? This is Sakura." She said in a strong voice. If there was one sure cure for grogginess it was adrenaline. She was now wide awake, anticipating the worst.

The night-duty person answered in the same tone. "I got a call about a person with a high fever in room 621 in tower 1. They want to know if they should go to the hospital. Can you go up there now and check?"

"I'm on my way now." She hung up the phone and quickly threw on the pants and shirt she had worn the previous day. Running through the apartment and into the elevator she missed the head that peaked out from the room next to hers.

Sakura used an override key in the elevator in tower 1 to make it go directly to the floor she wanted without any disruptions. Fevers could be misleading and people who traveled rarely took thermometers with them so she completely understood why someone would be concerned. A fever of 101 could be taken care of at home in most cases (if the person was healthy and carefully monitored), but any higher and the hospital would have to be called. She hoped the guest knew the medical history of the patient. Well, even if it was high she might be able to help somewhat, but the illness that caused the fever was her real concern. Chakra could only do so much and was certainly not a replacement for a doctor in many cases.

By the time Sakura finally knocked on the door of room 621 she had gone over about fifty different scenarios for treatment. Considering it only took her eight minutes to get from her apartment to the room that was pretty phenomenal.

The door opened and Sakura was greeted by about six guys who all stood in various states of drunkenness around the open door. "Hey! She really came! Cool!"

A hand reached out and pulled her into the room then shut the door. Sakura stood still, in complete shock. Glancing at the bed she saw no sick person laying down. A beer was shoved into her hand.

"Have a drink cutey! You're cordi…corda…cordally…ah got it…invited to our party!" The man who was talking was in his mid-twenties, medium height, average looking, and obviously not a shinobi. In fact, Sakura wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even have a job. The other men had the same look to them.

"What's going on here?" She asked quietly.

"Well, we are partying and we wanted you to come!" A different man spoke this time.

"Put on a swimsuit and pose for us while we drink!" The third man spoke as he produced a two-piece and held it up for her.

"I'm sorry, but it looks like it's more your size than mine." Sakura said sarcastically. "Do you know the penalty for false reporting?"

"Come on sweety, that only applies for calling the police. You're just a medic."

"For your information, it applies to any emergency personnel, and I will be reporting this to the police." Sakura was now officially pissed off. The nerve of them! How could they possibly think that what they did was okay? She moved to walk back to the door when the sound of knocking made her jump. Pursing her lips at having been so easily startled she brushed it off to her angered state and watched at the man closest to the door opened it.

The door was pushed back with such force that the man who opened it fell backwards. Kakashi stood in the doorway emitting a strong killing intent. The six men suddenly fell the ground, groveling for their lives.

"I figured something like this was going to happen eventually. You look okay, though, so why don't you go back to the apartment while I deal with these…well, I don't really want to call them 'men' as real men would never abuse an emergency situation to meet a girl." Kakashi's voice was deadly and Sakura knew from experience not to get in his way when he was like this.

As she walked past him she whispered, "Don't hurt them too badly."

He whispered back, "I won't, but wait for me when you get back. I want to talk to you."

Sakura walked back to the apartment. Passing the front desk the duty-person asked her how it went.

"It was a fake call. They wanted to party." She answered dejectedly.

"Damn. I thought I was doing a good job of filtering those out. Kakashi came by a few minutes ago and asked where you were so I told him." The man in the rent-a-cop suit frowned. "I'm really sorry, Sakura."

"It's okay. So how many calls did you get?" She didn't want the man to feel bad. It wasn't his fault.

"About fifteen since I got on duty at 11:00pm." He suddenly looked up at some people crossing the lobby. "You better get back to bed. You have to be up again in a few hours."

Sakura looked over her shoulder and saw two men who were pointing at her excitedly. She waved at the duty-person and ran to the elevator.

When she entered the apartment's living room she saw Itachi sitting alone in the dark. Well, that was unusual. "Do you mind if I turn on one of the lamps?" She asked him quietly. While he was no longer the object of fear she had grown up to despise, he was still intimidating.

"Ah! No, go ahead. I just got back from Nami's and I wanted to sit for a while." His voice was steady and had a refined tone to it. It revealed no emotion, however.

Sakura never really knew what to say to him, as he was still a very private person. Sasuke was spending a lot of time with him, but they didn't seem to talk much. Just sit together. Sakura had a passing thought about whether the Uchiha Kekkei Genkai included telepathy.

However, Sakura started to get the feeling that Itachi was worried about something. "Is there…something you would like to talk about?" The words came out before she thought about it.

Itachi looked at her for a minute and shook his head. "No. There's nothing you can do." He was quiet for a minute, then continued talking despite saying he didn't want to. "Leaving Nami every night like this isn't fair to her, but she refuses break off our relationship."

"Then get married." It sounded simple to Sakura.

"That isn't an option. I'm essentially a prisoner, and so is Nami. We technically aren't even supposed to be seeing each other like this even though Lady Suzu has so far looked the other way. Also, Sasuke must marry first and have an heir. That will guarantee his position as head of the clan should anyone challenge him."

"Nami is a criminal?" Sakura found it hard to believe.

"She's an expert gambler and a master at con-games. She bilked the owner of one of the competitors casino's for several hundred million ryou's before she was finally caught." Itachi smiled at his girl-friends cleverness.

"Hmm. So, back to Sasuke. Who would challenge his position? Few people even know you exist." She sat back and ran her hand across her eyes. She was getting tired.

"Future generations of Uchihas. Should I have children I have promised to give them to Sasuke when they are old enough to train. It is possible that grand-children or great-grand-children will challenge the line of succession if we don't take care to set it straight now."

Sakura sighed. "I'm so glad I don't belong to a clan."

"Yeah. It's not worth it in so many ways. Well, I'm going to bed. It looks like Kakashi is back." Just as Itachi left the room, the elevator opened.

"Sakura. I don't want you out by yourself anymore. There are too many people showing up. A lot of them are ninja." Kakashi spoke seriously as he sat next to her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I'm an s-ranked kunoichi, Kakashi. I can handle myself." Sakura was too tired to deal a babysitter. Leaning her head on his shoulder she closed her eyes.

"Sakura, your life isn't just about you. It's about all the people you could leave behind. The ones tonight were punks, but the boys and me have been distracting ninja's, some of them pretty powerful, for the last few days since the magazine released." Kakashi's voice was soft and he ran his fingers through Sakura's hair as he spoke. They had been trying to stop the "fans" before they could get to Sakura, but tonight proved that wasn't completely possible.

"Yeah. But…I can take care of myself, so if it comes down to it, let me fight. Don't fight for me." Sakura understood he wanted to protect her, but she wanted to stand on her own two feet as well.

"Spoken light a true kunoichi. Agreed, Sakura. We fight together. Now, let's go back to bed. We still have a couple hours before we have to get up." They stood up and walked toward the bedrooms. Kakashi kept his arm around Sakura and started walking into his room.

"Kakashi…where are you taking me?" Sakura squinted at him.

"To bed." Kakashi smiled, creasing his eyes in the process.

"_Your_ bed! My room is next door." She smirked.

"Oh. Okay, we can sleep there." He started walking back to her room, but Sakura pulled on his hand.

"_You_ sleep there." She pointed to his room. "And _I_ sleep here." She pointed to her room.

"Ah well. I tried." He scratched the back of his head and smiled again.

Sakura laughed, "Good night."

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The next morning at breakfast Kakashi informed the rest of Team 7 what had transpired the night before. They were upset and apologized profusely to Sakura for not being able to protect her.

Sakura sighed and shook her head. "I'm no longer twelve years old. I don't need to be 'protected'. Naruto, Sasuke, you and I are the new Sanin, and we all earned that honor together. My part was not honorary."

"So what are you saying?" Naruto asked, not getting the point.

"Leave me alone and let me fight my own battles!" Sakura yelled as she banged her hands down on the table. Tea cups rattled as the four men at the table opened their eyes in shock.

"Umm… Sakura, there's something we have to tell you." Naruto's hesitant voice and sideways glances told Sakura that this argument was far from over.

The elevators doors chose that time to open and everyone craned their necks to see through the dining area into the small foyer by the living room. Kankuro and Temari stepped out, complete with two large backpacks.

"Hi all!" Kankuro said cheerily. "We've come to protect Sakura!"

"Ah holy hell!" Sakura cried out in frustration and banged her head on the table.

"Wow. I don't think I've ever seen Sakura curse before. Good going Kakashi. What other tricks have you taught her?" Kankuro laughed at his little joke.

Kakashi chuckled slightly. She was cursing a lot lately, but for the life of him he couldn't remember ever having heard that particular phrase used before.

"I think she might have learned that from Lady Tsunade." Kakashi offered.

Temari was scanning the room. "Where is everyone else?" She asked.

"Come on Temari, let's go downstairs and get away from these guys." Sakura scowled as she lead the blond in to the elevator.

"I'm sorry, Sakura, I tried to tell Gaara that you didn't need us but he said Lady Suzu insisted." Temari apologized. She knew how Sakura must be feeling since she felt the same way when her abilities were questioned because she was a woman.

"I know. I figured when I saw you and your brother that it was Lady Suzu. The people I am mad at, though, are my own team. They should know my abilities better than anyone, yet they insist on still protecting me. It's infuriating!" Sakura's frustration was growing by the minute.

The short elevator ride ended and the doors opened into Deidara's studio. Temari saw him and blushed slightly as she exited the elevator. Deidara saw them and motioned for them to join him at the window, which faced the courtyard (and fountain) in front of the building.

Looking outside Sakura quickly drew in a breath, shocked. The courtyard was full of about a couple hundred people.

"What….what's going on?" Sakura asked in a small voice.

Temari answered. "They have all come to see you, Sakura. We had to pass through them to get in the hotel. Some of them were trying to force their way in. Gaara sent five teams of shinobi jounin and chuunin to protect the hotel."

"Oh. Why does Lady Suzu keep me here? She should send me home so the hotel will be safe." Sakura was starting to feel bad about her previous outburst upstairs. There was no way she could hold off two hundred rabid fans by herself.

"Publicity, probably. Also, I think she thinks of you as a surrogate daughter. Her daughters are grown up and moved on with their careers and she doesn't have any grandchildren yet. I think you're filling the void." Temari laughed at her. "Don't worry about it, we have it all under control."

Deidara laughed. "And if not we'll just throw Sakura to the throngs and take bets on how long she'll last."

"Yeah, I bet ten minutes, and Sakura wins." Temari found the idea very amusing.

"I bet…" Deidara put his finger to his chin and closed his eyes, deep in thought, "eleven minutes and Sakura wins."

Sakura pretended to wipe a tear from her eye and pretended to sniff, "You are such good friends. I'll just throw you two to the throng and bet on you surviving."

Deidara draped an arm around Temari's shoulders and grasped her to him. "As long as we go out together, I will die a happy man!" He waved his other hand in the air dramatically.

"Hey! Get your hands off my sister!" Kankuro snarled as he stepped out of the elevator.

Deidara stepped back quickly. "Never touched her. It was a genjutsu. You didn't see a thing." He winked at Temari, "And she is in no way four months pregnant and I am not the father."

Kankuro gasped, then spluttered as he tried to speak. Temari put her hand on her abdomen. "We were just discussing names, weren't we Deidara-kun?"

"Yes we were pudding-pop." He spoke in a cutesy voice and bent down to rub noses.

Sakura couldn't keep it in any long and fell to the ground laughing.

Kankuro opened and closed his mouth a few times, then turned around and got back in the elevator.

Temari laughed. "He is _so_ going to tell everyone now that I'm pregnant. It serves him right. You know, I haven't had a date in three years because of him? He beats them all up! Thank-you, Deidara."

"You're welcome." Deidara bowed gallantly. "So that means, I get to take you on a date?"

Temari smiled. "Yes it does. And Kankuro is not invited."

Sakura finally brought herself under control and made her way to the TV to watch soap operas. Temari threw a book over to the couch for her to read, then she and Deidara sat down on the opposite couch, snuggling.

Opening the book Sakura gasped in shock, then started laughing again. It was a bingo book from the village hidden in the Stones. Page fifty-six was of Temari in a negligee.

"I had a boudoir photographer take the picture, then he sent it to the printers to replace the old picture." Temari gave a big smile.

Sakura had to laugh, though, because about forty percent of the photo's of men and women in the bingo book were…revealing.

"It starting to look like a porn book." Sakura commented.

"Yeah, people are going around now asking for autographs instead of taking heads. You may have found the key to world peace Sakura." Temari and Deidara laughed at the odd expression the pink kunoichi's face.

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An unashamed attempt to get reviews:

Kakashi looped his thumbs around the elastic of his boxers. The little shurikens and kunai draw on them was very cute. He continued to sway to the music, occasionally pulling the waistband down a couple inches, then pulling it back up. He got down on his knees and moved closer to the waving hands of the crowd, allowing them to touch the fabric. He then stood back up and turned around, swaying his read end and continuing to tease the audience. Finally he pulled the boxers down all the way and stepped out of them, revealing a pair of very tight fitting, low cut black briefs. He bent down to pick up the boxers, showing the audience his rear again, then threw them into the audience.


	10. Chapter 10 Plot no Jutsu

Thank you for the reviews and favs!

I find it very strange that my two stories have the same number of reviews (or close to it) every week, even though different people are reviewing them. I think it's funny anyway XD

Disclaimer – Kishimoto is owned by Naruto

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Chapter 10 – Plot no Jutsu

The crowds grew larger and larger as the hours passed. Sakura watched them from the upper floor window. For the most part the civilians and shinobi gathered got along and there were no major disruptions. However, by the next morning it was clear that the city police weren't going to be able to clear the hotel's courtyard on their own. Lady Suzu did come up with a novel idea. A very profitable idea. And that was why Sakura now found herself with a new job.

A three sided tent with an air-conditioner was set up a hundred feet from the hotel's entrance. It had a table, several chairs, and several large posters of a swim-suit clad Sakura. All around the tent were shinobi from the village hidden in the Sand. Inside the tent Sakura sat nervously waiting and Kakashi sat next to her, frowning.

The hotel staff (with the help of more Sand shinobi) were placing ropes to mark a queue, while other's helped the throngs of admirers to get into a line. It was done very professionally and quickly. It seemed that when Lady Suzu gave an order, everyone jumped to it. Once again Kakashi and Sakura shook their heads in wonder.

"Sakura, we're ready to begin." Temari poked her head into the tent. "We will let the fans in one at a time and they can get your autograph. Try not to talk too long, there are a lot of people out there standing in the sun and they might get short tempered."

Sakura took a deep breath. The idea was a good one, she supposed, but there were now over five hundred people waiting to see her. What if she didn't measure up to what they wanted? What if they started another riot? What if someone came to cause trouble?

Kakashi reached over and put his hand over the top of Sakura's. "It'll be okay, Sakura. I'm right here."

She smiled. "Of course. I'm also ready Temari." Sakura took another deep breath. The first man to come in was a shinobi from one of the smaller countries. He nervously produced his bingo book and Sakura helped him turn the pages until her picture was found. Signing it she smiled at him and he blushed.

"Thank…thank-you Lady Sakura." He stuttered as he bowed and left the tent. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. That wasn't so bad. And he was really sweet.

The next man, though, was the complete opposite. Rushing into the tent he produced his book quickly. "Man! I've been trying for hours to see you! You are the woman of my dreams! The answer to my prayers! The flower in my garden! The sun in my sky!"

"You are very poetic, aren't you? Here's your book back." Sakura smiled at the man's dramatics.

"Thank-you dear lady! I shall ride off into the sunset, but should we never meet again, know that you are always in my dreams!" The man walked out of the tent, head held high and book held proudly in the air.

Sakura and Kakashi laughed. The next several hours went quickly. Various vendors had shown up from around the city to cater to the beverage and food needs of the queued fans and Sakura was allowed several bathroom and food breaks whenever she asked for them.

Some industrious school kids had also started a business of standing in line for people who needed to use the restrooms. They were even provided with bright orange vests so they would be easy to find.

It was going way too smoothly. Sakura was relaxing and having fun, she easily made small talk with the men and answered questions about love and relationships for the women, and they gave her great advice in return as well. One elderly woman who was, at one time, a centerfold for a now defunct magazine gave her all kinds of advice on how to make her boyfriend feel wanted in the face of large numbers of fans who try to steal her attention.

"Now you must make time for him." The woman's old, shaky voice spoke weakly. "I didn't do that for my first boyfriend and he left me. I was decimated. My next boyfriend I was much more careful about. We always spent one day a week together. That's what you should do. Just forget everyone else exists and be together. Don't make the same mistake I did. You understand?"

Sakura assured the old woman that she did, but as soon as the women left the tent she sighed and looked at Kakashi. They hadn't spent any time alone – well, any _extended_ time along since arriving a few months ago.

"We need a vacation, Kakashi. Just you and me." Sakura frowned.

"Yes." Kakashi answered, pre-occupied.

"Yes?" Sakura creased her brow. "What's wrong? You look like you're thinking very deeply. Did you hear what that old woman said?"

"Yes."

"Kakashi!" Sakura banged her hand on the table.

The silver haired man blinked and looked over at Sakura. "We need to talk later."

"Uh…Okay. About what?" He seemed to have a different train of thought going on and she wasn't sure what it was about.

"How much longer are you planning on staying down here?"

"I hadn't thought about it. There is still a lot of people outside."

Temari interrupted. "Everyone has been told that autographs will end at 6pm for the day, so you have one more hour, more or less."

"Thank-you Temari." Kakashi said seriously.

The next hour was a little less fun for Sakura. She was worried about what Kakashi wanted to talk to her about. Did that old woman make him realize how little time they spent together? Did he feel ignored? Was he questioning their relationship? He hadn't spoken much after lunch.

Sakura remembered when they had returned from the apartment around 1pm. Kakashi had taken Kankuro aside and asked him several questions, after which Kankuro had dashed off. He had yet to return. Perhaps something else was worrying him then? However, she couldn't get the old woman's words out of her mind.

The line fizzled out around 6pm. The Sand shinobi had cut it off and the remained fans, while disgruntled at not getting their turn, were given numbered cards so they could go off and have fun in town during the night and come back in the morning and get their spots back. Sakura was escorted back to her apartment, then pulled into Kakashi's room as he asked Naruto (who was cooking that night) to hold the food for fifteen minutes.

Kakashi went straight to his desk and opened a scroll, reading it. His brow creased further and further as he read further into the document. Sakura started to fidget, then stood still when she realized what she was doing.

"Sakura, I suspected that something was going on here, and I was right." Kakashi's voice was serious.

"What is it?" Sakura said in a small voice.

"Missions have a completion rate of thirty percent below normal. Shinobi are diverting from their missions to collect autographs, trade bingo books, submit photo's, and come here to see you. That is a sizeable chunk of profit for the various villages. It is my honest opinion that Lady Suzu is not the harmless mad scientist she makes herself out to be. She is up to something, and using you as part of her plan."

Sakura smiled. So he wasn't concerned about their relationship. That was a relief.

"Sakura? Why are you smiling? I thought you would be mad." Kakashi was puzzled.

"I thought…I thought you were mad at me for not spending enough time with you." Sakura put her hands on Kakashi's chest as he wrapped his arms around her back.

"Enough time? We spent all day together today. Also, neither of us is co-dependent. If you were worried about what the old lady said, don't."

"I am worried, and we have to spend time together, alone. I don't want us to grow apart and then use the words 'independent personalities' to describe our separation. If we are that type of person then we need to learn to be more 'dependant'." Sakura was getting worried. If they started to drift apart because they were too independent to stay together, then how could she ever find love again?

Kakashi wasn't sure he understood. He had been in a couple relationships before, and they both ended because he and the women had realized they were too far apart to be together. He never regretted the breakups, although he sometimes looked back and wondered "what if". However, Sakura was the woman he was going to marry. She wasn't going to get away like that.

"Let's go have dinner. Then we'll find a quiet spot to talk. About you never leaving me, me never leaving you, and what Lady Suzu might be up to."

"Of course. Now, I wonder what flavor of ramen Naruto made for dinner tonight?" Sakura was relieved.

Walking into the dining area with Kakashi, the first thing they noticed was that Naruto was reading a book. That in and of itself was an oddity, but when they saw the title of the book they groaned. "5001 Ways to Cook Instant Ramen." They noticed that each place setting had a different preparation of Ramen.

"What are we, guinea pigs?" Kakashi asked, smiling at the strips of beef in his soup.

"Yes! Hinata sent me this great book. I was looking through it and I saw recipe's that matched everyone. So I made them for my turn as chef. Come on everyone dig in! You'll love it!" Naruto's enthusiasm made Sakura smile. He was always so cheerful.

The only one missing for dinner that night was Kabuto, who was working in the kitchen. Which was well and good since he refused to eat processed food. Becoming a chef had made him much more health conscious about what he put in his stomach. However, everyone else didn't care and, in fact, they loved the ramen recipes. It turned out that the man who couldn't hard boil an egg to save his life was a genius at cooking ramen.

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After dinner Naruto gave Sakura a letter that had arrived from Ino. Sakura was overjoyed to hear from her friend. In the letter Ino thanked her for the swim suits and went on to describe Ten Ten's and Hinata's embarrassment at having to wear them to a "beach" party Ino threw at the lake. Sakura laughed at that. Ten Ten was never girly and Hinata was very shy. She wished she could have seen it. On the other hand, Rock Lee had lost a bet with Shino and was forced to also don a bikini. Sakura was _very_ glad she didn't have to see that…

"Oh, something fell out from between the pages." Sakura picked up the small paper and screamed.

"What is it!" Naruto ran over to the dining table where Sakura was still sitting, eyes wide open and gasping for air. Everyone else looked up from where they were.

Sakura handed the paper to Naruto who slammed it on the table and yelled, "You could have just told me about it! You didn't have to show me!"

Sasuke, Sai and Itachi wandered over. "What?" Sasuke asked, smiling. He enjoyed seeing Naruto in pain. Naruto held up the picture for all three guys to see. Sasuke and Itachi closed their eyes in pain and Sai covered his mouth, looking for the world like he was about to throw up.

Kakashi looked at the picture and sighed, closing his eyes. "I never thought I'd see the day that someone out-did Gai in stupidity. But today is that day."

Deidara and Kisame looked at the picture and laughed. "Hey, let's send this picture to the bingo book people." Kisame suggested.

Naruto gave an evil laugh. "Yeah. Let's."

Smiling up from the small sheet of paper was Rock Lee in a woman's two piece swim suit, standing in the "good guy" pose. His teeth even "pinged".

Kankuro and Temari kept their mouths shut. They personally thought that Rock Lee and Mite Gai should have been straight-jacketed and locked up years ago. This just proved it.

"Let's send this to Gaara." Kankuro laughed, he couldn't stay quiet for long.

"Yeah." Temari had a vision of the otherwise stoic Gaara loosing his composure at the daring of one his best friends. It would be priceless.

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Meanwhile, back at Konoha…

"Ah choo!"

"Lee! You have caught a cold!" Gai dramatically stretched his hand out in accusation at the young man wiping his nose.

"Yes Gai Sensai! I must now eat 100 cans of chicken soup! I am off to grocery to make the purchase!"

"And I will eat 200 to make sure your germs did not fall on me!" Gai gallantly declared.

The two men ran off into the sunset as great waves broke over cliffs, washing out the grocery store. The manager made them spend the next forty-eight hours cleaning everything up and then banned them from ever entering the premises again.

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"So you think Lady Suzu is trying to decimate the economies of the hidden villages by getting people addicted to porn?" Naruto broke down laughing. Kakashi was dead serious and very concerned. That made Naruto laugh even harder.

Sasuke frowned and shook his head. "Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds, Kakashi?"

"I…Now that you mention it. It does sound rather absurd." Kakashi rubbed his face with his hands. "But I am right about this."

"Okay." Sasuke nudged the laughing Naruto in the side, trying to get his to be quiet. "Thirty percent is a huge drop in missions. I'll admit that it can easily bankrupt the smaller nations. But I know what the economy of Konoha is and it wont hurt us or the other four big villages. What would she gain by destroying the smaller villages?"

"That is what we have to find out." Kakashi sighed. "On the surface we can say that it would give the big five shinobi villages more business. However, it would also create a lot of unemployed ninja, who would no doubt be roaming around looking for work and trouble. Not necessarily in that order."

"Which would give Konoha even more work as they took missions to stop unemployed troublesome ninjas." Sakura looked up at Kakashi. "Does she have some kind of link to Sand that we don't know about? Or any of the other villages? Could she be trying to increase profits for some reason?"

"Good point. Let's start with that. Find out Lady Suzu's financial situation as well as her fiscal goals. Also, let's get Temari to ask Gaara to come for a short visit. We need to talk."

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"Let me get this straight. You want me to submit this… 'photo' to the bingo book?" The owner of the photography shop in the hotel lobby had been busy all day snapping revealing pictures of ninja and kunoichi and was no longer in a good mood. It was 9pm. He wanted to go to bed. However, just as he pulled down the covers and fluffed his pillow his fellow "inmates" of the hotel's "rehabilitation" program had come knocking on his door.

"Yes." Kisame laughed.

"Why? Don't you think he'll get pissed off with you?" The man rubbed his forehead. He was getting a migraine. He was sure of it.

"That's the idea." Deidara laughed as well.

"What about you two?"

"Oh, we're just here to see if Kisame and Deidara were serious or not." Kabuto smirked. Itachi was standing next to him and smiling. Neither of them believed the photo could be submitted, but there was nothing else to do tonight so they decided to tag along.

The man raised his arms in surrender. "Okay. I'll submit it, but don't get your hopes up."

"Thanks. Can you make a copy of that before you send it off? We need the original for something." Kisame smiled. His sharp teeth were menacing and made the photographer shudder. Life was never this odd when he was a counterfeiter. Photographing artwork and jewelry for knockoffs was simple work. He wished he was in a nice comfy jail cell. How much happier he would be.

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For reviews –

Kakashi is naked except for a pair of low-cut tight briefs. The music picks up to a techno beat and he dances, clearly having a lot of fun. Sweat glistens as it drips down his perfectly formed abs. Grabbing towel he wipes his chest slowly and seductively, then throws it into the audience. They go wild, snatching for the towel. It no time it is ripped into a hundred pieces. Kakashi's strong, muscular legs flex as he shifts from one leg to the other. He loops his thumbs around his briefs and slowly begins to slide them down….SCREEECH!

"What's going on here!" The audience is shocked into silence as two very pale twenty-something men walk onto the stage. "This story is rated 'T'. As the moderators we cannot allow you to do any further."

A voice comes over the PA system. "Kakashi has a contract. He has to pull those briefs down! Readers have been waiting for it!"

"Too bad! Or do you want to be banned?" The moderators laugh evilly then disappear into thin air. They obviously spend too much time on the site if they know how to do that!

"Well, what now?" Kakashi says, pissed off.

"You signed the contract." The voice says, smirking.

"Okay! Private showing! I'll pull my briefs down but in one of the private rooms – but only if you review." Kakashi gives the "good guy" pose and the audience queues up for their turn.

The reviewers who leave the room are all smiling great big smiles.


	11. Chapter 11 Haunted

Thanks for all the great reviews! I'm not doing so good with the Kakashi Sakura cuteness though, but after you see the end of this chapter I hope it makes up for it a little bit XD

Disclaimer – Kishimoto is owned by Naruto

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Chapter 11 - Haunted

"Naaa roooo tooo! Naaa roooo tooo! Naaa roooo tooo! Naruto! Wake up and get out of bed or I'll tell your parents what a rude son they had!"

Naruto slowly opened his eyes and glanced in the direction of the voice. Seeing the glowing figure of his ex-sensei, or rather, deceased ex-sensei he jumped up out of bed, eyes wide, finger pointing and mouth moving soundlessly. Finally he calmed down. Somewhat.

"You're supposed to be dead! Are you haunting me?"

"No. I got lost on my way to hot springs! OF COURSE I'M HAUNTING YOU!" Jiraiya's eyes bugged out as he yelled.

"BUT WHY!" Naruto yelled even louder.

"I DON'T KNOW! It was obviously a mistake. I'm sure those hot springs were around here somewhere." Jiraiya turned and started moving toward the outside wall, not doubt with the intention of walking through it.

"No, wait Pervy Sage. Tell me why you came. I've calmed down now." Naruto sat on the edge of his bed.

"There is a grave danger brewing in the world. A danger worse than that born of the Akatsuki. A danger worse than the outlawing of two piece bikini's. A danger worse than…"

"Okay, okay I get the picture. So what's going on?" Naruto squinted at the ghost suspiciously.

"My beloved Icha Icha paradise is being threatened. An evil entity has wrapped her fingers around my books, magazines, videos, mangas…"

"Yeah we know. Lady Suzu. She's trying to bankrupt the smaller countries by getting them addicted to porn." Naruto yawned, then glanced at the clock it was 2:14am.

"You…know?" Jiraiya looked slightly deflated.

"Yeah. Kakashi figured it out a couple days ago."

"Oh. So… Hey! You don't know why she's doing it, though, do you?" Jiraiya gave Naruto a triumphant smile.

"Do you?" Naruto wasn't buying the act.

"N…No." Jiraiya deflated again.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a couple minutes.

Jiraiya spoke again. "So."

Naruto answered. "So."

"How…have you been?"

"Oh, you know. Same old same old."

"Oh… So… are you Hokage yet?"

"No, no. The old bat's still alive. How are you doing? The other side treating you okay?"

"S'okay. Nothing to brag about. Oh. Your mom and dad say 'hi' and want to know when you are going to make them grandparents. They aren't getting any younger, you know."

"Umm. Well…" Naruto thought about that for a second. "If they're dead they aren't aging at all."

"Uh…good point."

"Hmm."

"Yeah."

"Well…"

"It was nice seeing you again." Jiraiya looked around the room.

"Umm… Yeah… Nice seeing you again too. Don't be a stranger. Come again sometime!" Naruto stood up and showed Jiraiya the door.

Jiraiya gave Naruto an informal salute and left the room.

Closing the door, Naruto was forced to quickly open it again when an inhuman scream came from the hallway.

"Ahhhhhhhh! A ghost! A ghost! A ghost!"

Naruto ran into the hallway, quickly followed by Kakashi, Sai, Sasuke and Sakura. Kisame came out last, holding a big stick.

What they saw was definitely a shock. Kabuto, who had just returned from the restaurant was standing in the middle of the hall screaming. His face was completely white and his eyes were bugging out.

After staring at the screaming man for a couple minutes Kisame hit him over the head with his stick, knocking him out. Scowling he walked back to his room and closed the door.

Sakura knelt next to the unconscious man and healed the bump that was starting to form. Naruto felt a little responsible for the incident so he picked the man up and carried him to the living room and laid him down on the couch.

"Ghosts. Was he drinking?" Sasuke frowned. Kabuto wasn't the sort to panic.

"No. Jiraiya was here." Naruto was a little shocked at the looks his teammates gave him. "Really. He came to tell me about Icha Icha being in danger."

Everyone turned around and started walking back to their rooms.

"Really! He did! I saw him! He repeated everything that Kakashi had already told us!" Naruto was yelling at his friends as he followed them down the hall. "He was a ghost! He was a ghost! He was...arghhh."

Kisame had come out his room again and hit Naruto over the head with his stick. Muttering under his breath he went back into his room and this time slammed the door.

Kakashi and Sai dragged Naruto back to his room, dropping him unceremoniously back on his bed. Muttering under their breath they also went back to their rooms.

It was too early in the morning for ghosts. Why couldn't they come at 9pm when everyone was awake?

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Lunchtime found Sakura and Kakashi spending their day off on the roof. They had ordered a picnic lunch from the restaurant and, after scouting out the terrain of the roof, spread out a blanket with the plan to spend the next few hours enjoying themselves. They found a private shady spot behind some metal crates.

Kakashi lay with his head in Sakura's lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. It was relaxing.

Sakura spoke softly. "I'm sorry Kakashi. I feel like I forced you to come up here with me."

Kakashi sighed, then smiled. "I think I need someone to force me to relax. I have to admit I don't relax very often. Even when I'm standing around reading I'm not relaxing. I think… I think you might add a few years to my life if you keep this up." He reached up to stroke her cheek.

"Thank-you. I… just don't want to loose you now that we've found each other. I think if we drifted apart if would be worst thing that could happen to us."

Sitting up Kakashi wrapped his arms around Sakura and drew her in close. They leaned back against a metal wall for a long time not saying anything. Eventually they fell asleep.

"Oh. Here they are Itachi! Over Here!" Nami knelt down on the picnic blanket and set a box in front of her. Itachi showed up a minute later, carrying a larger box.

"Wake up sleepy heads!" Nami laughed at them as they blinked and stretched.

"What time is it?" Kakashi yawned as he spoke.

"Dinner time. We brought you a picnic dinner since you hadn't shown up downstairs yet. Kind of a double-date." Nami opened the smaller box and started to pull stuff out. "There's a restroom on the other side of this crate if you want to freshen up for dinner."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks." Sakura said, half asleep. She stood up and walked around the crate as Kakashi sleepily followed her.

"Hurry up, the soup will get cold." Itachi added, grinning.

Nami looked at him and shook her head, then broke out laughing. "Gazpacho is supposed to be cold."

Itachi gave a short laugh. "I bet they don't know that."

Kakashi and Sakura came back and looked eagerly at the dinner. They both had realized after they entered the restrooms that they were very hungry.

"Oh, the soup is cold," Sakura tasted it, "and it's _so_ good!"

"What's in the other box?" Kakashi asked curiously.

Itachi opened it. "Wine. Several bottles."

Sakura laughed. That's enough to get an elephant drunk!"

"Or four adults." Nami passed around some buttered rolls.

"So, are you up to something or just being nice?" Kakashi asked good-naturedly.

"We are up to something. And being nice." Itachi answered. "My brother's girlfriend is arriving in a few days, it turns out. I want to find out if she is worthy of him."

"Actually," Nami interrupted, "he wants to know if her clan is planning on joining Konoha as a separate entity or usurping the Uchiha name. It's possible they are going to use the marriage to go behind Sasuke and his bride's back."

"I don't want to see my brother used that way." Itachi said matter of factly.

Sakura frowned. "We'll do what we can, but… I think Sasuke can take care of himself. He hates it when people butt into his business. He still hasn't even forgiven Tsunade for arranging the marriage to begin with."

"I suspect he wants to call it off, in fact. He hasn't even introduced any of us to the woman." Kakashi smiled at Itachi. For the hundredth time he thought about how odd it was to be talking about personal matters to Itachi Uchiha.

"Then he would have called it off already." Itachi stated.

Sakura and Kakashi did a double-take. They hadn't thought of that. They had been so busy with other matters that they forgot how utterly tactless and forward Sasuke could be when he wanted something. Itachi was right. If Sasuke did not want to get married it would have been entirely in character to refuse. So what was going on?

"This place is certainly full of drama, isn't it?" Kakashi shook his head.

Sakura smiled. "So what about you two?"

"Us? Whatever could you meant?" Nami held up her right hand and waved it back and forth a couple times.

"Oh my god!" Sakura grabbed Nami's hand. "Oh my god! Nami it's beautiful!" Nami's third finger now held a small diamond engagement ring. "Have you set a date?"

"After Sasuke gets married. We still have to get permission from Suzu, but this is enough if she says no. We're still together." Nami had a big smile on her face as she looked at Itachi, who, believe it or not was blushing slightly.

"Oh! She has to say yes! I'll make her say yes! Don't worry about a thing. You probably wanted me to talk to her for you, right?" Sakura was so excited. A wedding was so romantic.

"Yes! She is very fond of you so if anyone can talk her into it you can."

The conversation quickly turned to gowns and shoes and flowers and a hundred other things wedding-related.

Itachi leaned over and whispered to Kakashi. "How long are they going to go on like this?"

"You don't want to know. This is usually when I leave and find a different bar. However, in this case, if we leave we'll be dead before we reach the elevator. Just smile and pretend to listen. Remember to shake your head occasionally too, so it looks like you are paying attention." Kakashi gave a short laugh.

"I heard that Kakashi." Sakura pretended to be mad, then gave him a big grin.

They drank more of the wine and Nami pulled out some crackers and cheese. By evening the four of them were very drunk.

Making their way back to the apartment they noisily walked into the foyer. Everyone turned around to look at them.

"Oh! Hi all!" Itachi said, then burst into a fit of giggles. "Look! I'm getting mar…mari…hitched!" He grabbed his hand and held it up, but there was no ring. "Wait, that's my hand." He grabbed Nami's hand and held it up. Still no ring. "Wait, wrong hand." He grabbed Nami's right hand and held it up.

"Do you have the right girl?" Kisame laughed.

Itachi moved his face close to Nami's. She tried to focus her eyes, but she was feeling very sleepy. "Yeah… but there's two of her."

"Lets go 'tachi." Nami pulled on Itachi's hand and they walked down the hall. Bangs and more giggles could be heard as the couple kept running into the walls.

While Itachi and Nami had been talking, Kakashi and Sakura had become involved in a deep kiss. Kakashi had taken his shirt off and was trailing kisses down Sakura's throat.

"Sakura. My bed. I want you in my bed." Kakashi stumbled backwards, but caught himself.

"I'm not married 'kashi." Sakura stepped away from Kakashi. "When I get married… I'll call you… then we can have sex." She walked away from Kakashi then stopped. She looked at the men sitting on the various couches and chairs. "Something about that sounds wrong for some reason." She put her finger to her chin and tried to think. Instead she fell forward onto the floor and curled into a ball, fast asleep.

Kakashi, oblivious to Sakura's new position, was looking at the gathered men for a different reason. "One of you needs to marry Sakura so she can have sex with me. Who wants to?"

"If we say 'yes' do we get to have sex with Sakura too?" Deidara smirked. This was too amusing to pass up.

"I… uh… you'll be her husband… husbands and wives have sex… yes. You will." Kakashi frowned. "Is that right?"

Deidara and Kisame laughed.

Kakashi laughed too, then he also fell forward onto the floor, unconscious.

Naruto smiled and shook his head. "Just how much do you have to drink before you say something like that?"

"Who cares! I'm marrying Sakura!" Deidara stood up and walked over to the pink kunoichi and picked her up off the floor. "To the bridal chamber!" he declared as he walked to her room. "Can someone get the door? My hands are full!"

After laying Sakura on top of her bed Deidara came back, snickering. "I have a really evil idea, guys. Let's steel all of Kakashi's clothes, blankets, towels, curtains. Anything he can cover himself in. He'll wake up tomorrow butt naked and have to show up for roll call."

"Hmm. A trifle juvenile. Hey, what the hell. Nothing else to do." Kisame grabbed his stick and stood up.

"Are you going to carry that around with you everywhere you go?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes. Yes I am." Kisame said in a very serious voice. He then hit Sasuke over the head with it, causing the Uchiha to stumble.

Walking into the hall they found the reason Itachi and Nami had stumbled into the wall. Kabuto was sitting on the floor surrounded by a circle of thirteen candles.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked, annoyed at having to sidestep burning flames.

"I am exorcising the evil spirit that has inhabited our dwelling." Kabuto had his eyes closed and was concentrating deeply.

"Okay…" Naruto glanced at the other men, who were looking at Kabuto like he had gone insane. He wasn't sure Jiraiya really counted as an evil spirit, but to each his own. Although, there were reports that day from the women's locker room at the pool. Apparently a white haired man had been seen peeping at the ladies. Security was unable to catch him.

Anyway, once in Kakashi's bedroom they proceeded to strip every bit of cloth they could find. It was all shoved into an empty room at the end of the hall, which was then locked.

Kakashi was then carefully carried (so he wouldn't wake up and so they didn't disturb Kabuto's exorcism) to his room and stripped of all his clothes. His clothes were then folded neatly and put in Sakura's room.

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The next morning Kakashi woke up feeling slightly chilly. He reached for the blanket but his groping hand didn't find it. Opening his eyes he looked down and…

"What the hell!" He was naked! There was no blanket! There were no curtains! He jumped out of bed, then fell back onto the mattress gripping his head.

"Damn. Hangover. Where is Sakura?" He stood up and walked toward the door, then stopped. He couldn't go to her room naked. He walked into the bathroom to grab a towel… they were all gone as well.

"Oh no… I can't believe I let this happen." He sat down on the toilet and put his head in his hands. "Maybe I can cover myself with toilet paper." He took a few squares in his hand. "No, too flimsy."

The buzzer sounded, telling everyone to get up for roll call. Kakashi cringed. Walking back into the bedroom he looked around. There weren't even any pillows or seat cushions. He opened the closet and drawers. All empty. He they eyed his desk. There was only one solution.

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Everyone was in the living room, lined up. Except for Kakashi. Sakura, Nami, and Itachi had no idea what was going on and were wondering why Naruto, Sasuke, Sai, Kisame and Deidara were snickering and why Kabuto was covered in religious symbols, praying and throwing holy water on everyone.

The elevator doors opened and two guards, Kankuro, Temari, Gaara and Lady Suzu walked in. Kisame, Deidara and Naruto lost it. They doubled over in laughter. Sai and Sasuke had big grins on their faces. Kakashi's embarrassment would be doubled with those two in attendance. The seconds ticked by and finally, four seconds before the deadline for assembly Kakashi walked into the room.

He stopped and looked at the people in the room. "Ah shit!"

Kankuro, Temari and the two guards broke out laughing. Gaara blinked, then shook his head, smiling. Lady Suzu gave a short laugh then clapped her hands in approval.

"Bravo! Bravo! Nice show, Kakashi!" She loved the antics of her "children".

Sakura was busy holding back a nosebleed. Standing before her was a very naked Kakashi, hiding his manhood with not one but two Icha Icha books.

"My man is a two book guy." Sakura whispered to herself.

Inner Sakura woke up for the first time since the fountain incident, "_Hell Yeah! Forget the wedding, let's jump him now!"_

Someone stepped forward and took several pictures.

Then Sakura remembered something. When she woke up her head had been resting on… "Kakashi, why were your clothes in my bedroom?"

Kakashi's eyes bulged and his face turned white. The two books fell to the floor as Kakashi lifted his hands up. "I… I… "

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Cliffhanger!

Wow. Naked Kakashi hidden only by two Icha Icha books. I wish I could draw, but my stick figures are so bad they don't even look like sticks. I guess you all will have to use your imagination. XD

Please review! If you do Sai will draw a picture of you standing next to Kakashi – and he will be wearing only two Icha Icha books. Sound nice? If it's a really nice review, Kakashi will hold only one book.

Hey – if Sai's drawings come to life – and he draws Kakashi – does that mean you have your own Kakashi? Even nicer!


	12. Chapter 12 Plot Revealed

Thanks for all the reviews!

Disclaimer: Kishimoto is owned by Naruto

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Chapter 12 – Plot revealed

_Kakashi's eyes bulged and his face turned white. The two books fell to the floor as Kakashi lifted his hands up. "I… I… "_

Everyone's eyes bugged out in shock as a very naked Kakashi tried to figure out how his clothes got into Sakura's room.

Itachi and Nami smirked. "Hey Sasuke, I thought you said he was big. I'm bigger than that!" Itachi said slyly to his brother.

"Shut up." Sasuke mumbled. Sasuke, Sai and Naruto turned their heads in embarrassment at the memory of a few summers ago when a piece of string and ruler had ruined a perfectly good afternoon.

"Me too un." Deidara piped up.

"I think I'm about the same." Kisame wanted to get into the fun. He didn't know why the three leaf ninja's were blushing but hey, what the hell. He wondered if he should hit someone with his stick.

"No wonder he won the bet." Sakura said in awe.

Kabuto stepped forward and threw some holy water on Kakashi then went back to the hallway and his exorcism.

Shaking the water out of his eyes Kakashi suddenly realized he was no longer holding his books and darted to stand behind the couch; grabbing a small blanket from the back he wrapped it around his middle.

"Hahahaha! Well, that was a great joke guys! Now where are my clothes?" He tried to avoid looking at Sakura, but out of the corner of his eye he could see her large green eyes locked onto him. The look she gave him… It was…

"Uh… guys… NOW!" The joke was over. And he quickly left the room before Sakura noticed just how much her gaze was affecting him.

Sakura started to follow him but Naruto ran past her. "Wait here Sakura, I'll get his clothes." He noticed, and didn't want Kakashi to be further embarrassed. Unlocking the door at the end of the hall he helped Kakashi dig through his stuff to find clean clothes.

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Lady Suzu walked into the apartment a few hours later and was greeted by a rather distraught Kabuto.

"Did you bring them? Oh good! Thank God! Things have been awful since he started haunting me." Kabuto's eyes were red, his clothes disheveled and he hadn't been to work that day.

They walked into the living room and Lady Suzu introduced a catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and two Shinto shrine maidens. "This was all I could get on short notice, Kabuto dear. If it isn't enough there are about fifty other religions we can try. But we must get Jiraiya's ghost out of here! He could ruin the whole operation!"

Kabuto heard the couch gasp and kicked it. This was serious and he didn't need comments from the furniture… He creased his brow and looked down at the floor. Why was someone hiding under the couch?

"Come on Kabuto, show our esteemed guests where you saw the apparition."

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The elevator hummed as the group rode quietly to Deidara's studio. They had just come from a formal dinner held for the visiting dignitary Gaara and were now going to use the studio for an informal meeting. Deidara, Sai and Kabuto had skipped the dinner. In fact, no one knew where Deidara and Sai were. They had gotten into another argument over art during breakfast and then disappeared.

The short ride stopped and the doors opened. Stepping into the studio the sunset lit the room in shades of dark yellow. The center of the room, where several canvases used to be located was empty except for two located opposite each other. In front of those canvases were two very naked men.

Deidara and Sai didn't have a stitch of clothing on. Sai's canvas was closer and they could see that he was using ink to sketch a nude of Deidara.

Temari was alarmed at the sight. "Deidara?" She said quietly, "Why… why are you in here naked with another guy?"

Deidara and Sai turned around, noticing the group for the first time.

Sai answered in a very serious tone. "I am showing that cretin over there how to draw a nude properly. He hasn't any artistic talent whatsoever."

"Like hell I don't un! You are the one using ink. The texture and subtleties of the human body cannot be captured with such a primitive medium un." Deidara was equally serious.

"But why are you both naked?" Temari asked again.

Deidara huffed then answered in a pissy voice. "Because, un, when we went down to the hotel bar to find a model all the guys we approached refused, un, or hit us! What the hell is wrong with people anyway, un!"

"Wait." Naruto closed his eyes for a second in concentration, then opened them. "Let me get this straight…so to speak…You two 'pretty boys' went down to a bar and asked guys…who were probably as pretty as you…to pose nude? And you were upset because you got hit?"

"Yeah!" Sai and Deidara answered simultaneously then glared at each other.

"Hahahaha! You got what you deserved! I can't believe you thought someone would do it!" Naruto paused for a second. "Wait. You guys are doing it." He blinked a couple times then looked over at Kakashi with a disturbed look on his face.

Kakashi sighed. "Leave me out of this." He was glad they weren't painting him. He remembered Sai taking pictures of him this morning. "By the way, Sai, where is your camera."

"In Sakura's room." He answered in a distracted voice.

Gaara sat down on the couch. "Let's just get this meeting going. We can ignore them." He notice Temari wasn't near him and looked around. "Temari!"

Temari had grabbed a stool and was now sitting three feet from Deidara, watching him intently.

"I guess we lost Temari as well. Well… Kankuro! Leave Temari alone!" Kankuro had walked up to Temari and was reaching out to grab her arm. He gave his younger brother a dirty look and walked back over to the couch.

Everyone finally sat down around the large couch. "Now," Gaara sighed, "the ninja villages in River and Tea country have been forced to declare bankruptcy. Both villages were already deeply in debt but the lack of income from missions put them in default. In the case of Tea, their ninja village is only four years old. The Daimyou of Wind country has sent them the money to pay off their loans."

"What!" Kakashi couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke were just as shocked. Kisame was wondering who he should hit next with his stick. Itachi was wondering how much money Deidara would charge to paint a nude of himself and Nami in a passionate embrace.

Itachi stood up and walked over to Deidara. For some reason everyone watched as the two men appeared to have a serious discussion. Deidara got a big smile on his face and Itachi turned around and left the room.

"Hey Sai! We got ourselves a model, un!" Deidara put his paintbrush down.

Sai perked up. "Itachi?"

"And Nami, un! Terrific huh, un!"

Everyone on the couch put their heads in their hands and groaned. Kisame decided that the next person he would hit with his stick was going to be Itachi. Well, he should have seen this coming. The man didn't seem to go through a hormonal phase as a teen, so he was apparently ten years overdue.

"When?" Sai asked.

"One hour! Let's put our clothes back on and wait, un." Deidara reached for his pants and started tugging them on.

Sai pulled his canvas off of the easel and set it against the wall.

Temari spoke up. "Sai! Can I have it?"

Deidara spoke before Sai could open his mouth. "Oh I have better nudes of me over there in the corner."

Naruto opened his mouth again in disbelieve. "You paint yourself naked?"

Deidara and Sai looked at Naruto like he had just grown a second head, then ignored him. The question didn't deserve an answer.

Temari moved over to the corner and started looking through the canvases.

Deidara uncovered a table full of clay and started puttering around.

Gaara cleared his throat making Kakashi jump, then gave a short laugh.

"So…" Gaara continued. "The terms of the buyout. They villages are being called 'franchises'. So basically the money is not a loan but a purchase. Wind country now owns two ninja villages, in addition to the political control it exercises over the Village Hidden in the Sand. I had my black ops check the financial status of the other small countries bordering the big five and I found that all but Waterfall are set to fall into bankruptcy in the next twelve months. Waterfall is financially independent and for some reason has not fallen for the current porn fad."

"HEY!" Jiraiya suddenly popped up out of the floor causing everyone on the large couch to yell in shock. "Did I miss the meeting?"

Naruto put his hand on his heart and breathed deep a couple times. "Next time WARN US before you come popping out of the floor like that!"

The ghost Sannin smiled, then hovered six feet above the floor in a reclining position. "No can do, Naruto! It ruins the surprise and as ghost I am obligated to scare."

"Do you have something to contribute to the conversation or are you just here to argue with Naruto?" Kakashi asked lazily.

"Where is your mask?" Jiraiya floated close to the white haired man and stared at his face.

"What mask?"

"The mask you always wore."

"I never wore a mask."

Jiraiya gave him a dirty look then drifted back a few feet. "Anyway, I have a secret account in Waterfall country. All you have to do is go get the money and secretly buy out the debts of the other hidden villages. They remain independent and Suzu's little scheme fails. Simple!" Jiraiya smiled and gave the "good guy" pose.

Everyone sighed, then Sakura spoke up. "I think we now know why Waterfall is not in debt anymore."

"Just how secret was that account Jiraiya?" Kakashi asked.

"MY MONEY!" Jiraiya yelled and disappeared.

"Where did he go?" Naruto asked.

"To haunt Kabuto some more if we're lucky." Sasuke said under his breath.

"Easy for you to say. Kabuto insisted on sleeping on my floor last night because he was too scared to be by himself." Naruto said. "I almost tripped over him when I got up this morning."

Gaara got everyone back on track. "I'll have my black-ops check out the situation in Waterfall again and find that secret account. Jiraiya's idea has merit if we can pull it off somehow. I'll send a message to Tsunade about what is going on as well. Maybe she can help."

The meeting broke up when Itachi returned with Nami and Deidara shooed everyone out so they could paint and sculpt without an audience. However, before leaving Kisame walked up to Itachi and hit him over the head with his stick.

"Ow! What was that for Kisame?" Itachi rubbed his head and scowled at the blue man standing in front of him.

"Just trying to knock some sense into you." He winked at Nami. "Good luck, cutey. If blondie gets any ideas tell Temari, she'll straighten him out."

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Kakashi followed Sakura to her room so he could look for Sai's camera. All day during the autograph session she had been distracted and looking at him a little too closely. While Kakashi wasn't a man to be shy or self-conscious, it was a little disconcerting. Although why he wasn't exactly sure.

Sakura walked into the room first, but stopped two feet in. Kakashi hadn't been paying attention and ran into her. He grabbed her shoulders to keep her from falling over. Looking up he saw why she had stopped.

Whereas Kakashi had made a collage of Sakura photo's all over his wall, Sakura now had two full size blow-ups – placed side by side. One of Kakashi holding two books in front of…himself. The second was Kakashi without the books. In fact, the photo was taken showing the books dropping.

The first thing Kakashi thought when he saw the photo's was that Sai was a good photographer. The second thing was how he could have gotten the prints in only a few hours. The final thing was… actually he couldn't remember a third thing… Sakura had suddenly pushed Kakashi against the wall and was simultaneously kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt.

The first thing Sakura had seen when she entered the room was the two photo's. Kakashi, in all his Glory, hanging on her wall. That was it. She wanted him. Now. Turning around she grabbed Kakashi by the arms and pushed into the wall next to the open door. Kakashi then grabbed Sakura's shoulders and used one leg to shut the door and the other for momentum to switch their positions. Kakashi grabbed her hands away from his shirt, but kept kissing her.

"Not until after the wedding, Sakura. I promised you that." He said breathily.

"We don't have to now." Sakura looked shyly into his eyes.

"Those guys are messing with us, Sakura. I know they are pushing us. Pushing you because they have nothing else to do with their pathetic little lives. I love you and I'm gong to keep my promise."

"I've just never felt this way about anyone else before. It's so strange. To want someone so badly that you would throw away everything to be with him. And not even regret it." Sakura rested her head on his chest and wrapped her hands around his chest.

"You'll regret it. When you feel that way and you do throw everything away, and then wake up you will regret it. You felt strongly enough to want to wait in the first place, that… that I don't want you to… I don't want our first time together to be something you would regret." Kakashi gave a short laugh. "I'm probably not explaining it right."

"It's okay. I think you're right." She smiled, then sighed deeply. "But can I keep the pictures?"

"If I said 'no' would you take them down?" He looked down at her smiling.

Sakura closed one eye and thought for a minute. "No." She laughed. "I can cover the middle with a piece of paper when I leave the room though."

"If you wish. I do think Sai did an excellent job of photography though. Despite what Deidara thinks, Sai is a good artist."

"Perhaps we should have him paint us?" She suggested, winking her eye again.

"For our first anniversary."

"So when are we getting married?"

"As soon as we get back to Konoha."

Sakura was quiet for a few minutes. "I still haven't talked to Lady Suzu about Nami and Itachi."

Kakashi smirked. "Good luck. Nami has been married five times already. It was one of the scams she was running. She would seduce men, marry them, then run off with their life's earnings."

"What!" Sakura pulled back and looked at Kakashi. "But she's only twenty-one. How did she do all these scams?"

"Her father helped. He's the night watchman, by the way."

"Oh. So she could be scamming Itachi to get at Sasuke's money. Is that what you think?"

"I don't know. If it is a scam that would be the angle. However, she is human. Maybe she did fall in love. Itachi is fairly vulnerable though. He had no real childhood and Akatsuki messed with his mind as a teenager. Now that he has no obligations he needs to repair the lost years. His therapy isn't doing so well and the psychiatrist is worried about his long term prognosis. Kisame seems to be keeping an eye on him somewhat, but he isn't the best role model. If Nami breaks his heart there's no telling what could happen." Kakashi watched as Sakura's face showed disappointment.

"I'm going to have a talk with her then. If anything happens to Itachi I know Sasuke will also be affected." Sakura smiled. "This is more interesting than the soap operas I watch."

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A couple days later Sasuke went off the deep end. The fiancé he pretended he didn't care about was due to arrive that day. The invisible girlfriend was finally going to become visible.

Sasuke started by going through everyone's wardrobes and picking their clothes. He then checked that the men (and women) had shaved. He ran his hands through everyone's hair to verify it was clean. He fussed over housekeeping the make sure the living cleaning was done perfectly. He paid for the most expensive and comfortable suite in the hotel for his fiancé and her escorts.

And then there was Itachi. If Sasuke wanted it, Itachi made sure he got it. He double checked everyone. Twice. He even made one of the housekeepers cry when he found a stray hair on the floor. Finally Sakura called Nami and had her come up to babysit Itachi. It actually worked. Itachi instantly calmed down when Nami put her arm around him and started talking to him.

"That has to be love." Sakura whispered to Kakashi. He nodded his head. It really did look like it, anyway.

Then the call came. She was in the hotel, in her room and would arrive momentarily. Sasuke lost it. He panicked.

"What do I do? Where should I stand? No one say anything stupid!" Sasuke walked around the front entrance talking to himself. Everyone was too afraid to go near him, fearing that he would be startled and Chidori them. Itachi was watching him and kept trying to stand up but Nami held him down, talking reassuringly to him.

The elevator bell rang and Sasuke literally jumped four feet into the air, landing on his butt. The rest of the group couldn't hold it in any longer and broke out laughing. Even Itachi started laughing.

Standing up, he gave everyone a dirty look then walked hesitantly to the elevator. He pushed the "open" button and politely asked the three people standing inside to enter the room.

Entering first was an elderly man, next was a man in his late forties, and finally was a twenty-one year old woman. The two men wore shin length black pants with a pullover short sleeve blue shirt. A fishnet shirt could be seen peeking out of the v-neck on the pullover. The older man had white hair and a short ponytail. The younger man had waist length black hair that was gathered halfway down his back. They both wore plain sandals.

The woman wore a long silk kimono, purple in color with a white heron design that wrapped around the bottom half of the dress. Her black hair was left down and fell to her waist in on length. She wore wooden sandals that were set off by her pure white socks.

Physical appearance was a trifle intimidating. The two men were tall. Around six foot or a little taller. They were muscular and looked like they could flatten three quarters of Wind in a matter of minute, without breaking a sweat. The woman, if she took her shoes off, appeared to be the same height as Sasuke who was around five foot ten inches. She had broad shoulders, hinting at a muscular body. Despite her demure entry, she gave off the impression that she could take out three quarters of Wind in thirty seconds then lecture the men folk while they spend thirty more seconds to finish their knock-down.

Everyone stopped laughing and talking and looked at the three strangers. This was not what they expected.

Sasuke greeted them politely and they all bowed to each other. Sasuke then turned around and introduced them to his "roommates".

"Everyone, this is my fiancé Uran Okano. This is her father Ukita Okano, and this is her grandfather and the chief of the clan, Ukon Okano."

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Please review!


	13. Chapter 13 Four Weddings and an Exorcism

Only a few chapters left!

Thanks for all the favs and reviews

Disclaimer: Kishimoto is owned by Naruto

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Chapter 13 – Four Weddings and an Exorcism

Sakura cornered Nami the next afternoon during lunch. True to her reputation Nami instantly knew what the conversation was going to be about. Sakura, however, was worried. She felt like she had become friends with the woman and didn't want to misjudge her. After all, friends trust friends, right?

"Sakura, it's okay. I knew my past was going to catch up to me." Nami smiled cheerfully.

"Yes, I'm sorry. It's just that we're concerned. Now that Sasuke has his brother back in his life, if anything happens he might go off the deep end. Again."

"I realize. If I broke Itachi's heart I think he would become suicidal, but I won't. I know it's impossible to convince someone of that a hundred percent so… I don't know. I'm not after anything, if that is what you think. Itachi made it clear to Sasuke that he has no claim on the clan and he is giving Sasuke his children to train. Nami stopped talking and frowned. "I don't like that. It would mean they would have to go to Konoha and I know I'll never be allowed to leave here."

Sakura sighed. She was a sucker for sob stories and she knew it. There had to be a way to give these two a happy ending.

"Nami. I want this to work out with all my heart so I'm going to tell you this up front. When Sasuke came back to Konoha he expended a lot of effort into restoring his brother's reputation. When he came here and saw he was alive he was very happy. Konoha sees Sasuke and Itachi as heroes now. Word of Itachi's resurrection reached the village months ago, shortly after we arrived. If he is betrayed again you are going to have one hell of a lot of enemies. Not to mention some of Itachi's old comrades from his ANBU days are still floating around and feeling a little put off because they let him suffer alone." Sakura paused to drink some water. She saw that Nami now had a serious look on her face and was paying close attention.

"If you are pulling a scam, leave him now. I'll give you one week then I'll back your wedding plans with Lady Suzu." Sakura mentally crossed her fingers as Nami continued to look at her.

Finally Nami gave Sakura a half smile. "One week then. And Sakura? If I'm still here in seven days – and I will be, by the way – then you will be my Maid of Honor and the Godmother of me and Itachi's children." She reached her hand across the table and Sakura grasped it firmly.

Shaking hands they started laughing.

Sakura finally spoke. "So how many kids are we talking about here?"

"I figure seven." Nami gave a big smile.

"Seven! Why so many?" Sakura was a little shocked.

"Lucky number!"

Sakura tried to envision herself and Kakashi with seven children then giggled.

"What?" Nami smiled.

"I just had a mental image of Kakashi chasing seven kids around the house. They were using chakra to climb the walls and ceiling, throwing diapers, pulling each others hair, spilling food and juice, throwing up and a million other things. It was hilarious!"

"I know! I have the same vision! But in all that chaos they are so adorable together!" Nami laughed. "So how many kids do you want?"

"I thought one, but now, two or three? Who knows? We haven't even talked about it. And besides, sometimes these things just happen." Both women burst out laughing, earning them some dirty looks from the other diners.

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Meanwhile…

Sasuke and Itachi were meeting with the three members of the Okano clan. Things seemed to be going smoothly enough. Lunch was a formal affair and the hotel had provided an appropriate atmosphere for the occasion.

Both Uchiha were impressed with the way the two Okano men felt no intimidation around them. They were completely at ease, and even a bit arrogant. Uran was polite, but she had a strong voice that reminded the two brothers eerily of their mother.

Frequently the two Okano men intoned their desire that a good marriage was the only appropriate union for Uran. They asked Sasuke what seemed like a hundred different questions and while he had been nervous at the beginning of the lunch he was perfectly calm at the end. The formality and up-front behavior of the two men was comforting to Sasuke.

Itachi, on the other hand, was still worried. He had tried, very hard, to let Sasuke deal with the situation alone but he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"It appears you plan on using Sasuke as a means to join the village hidden in the Leaves. Why are you unable to join on your own?" His voice was calm despite his inner turmoil.

"A fair question." Ukon, the grandfather and clan chief frowned. "We were, traditionally enemies of the clans that formed the village. Up until the end of the Third Great Ninja War we acted as spies, gathering information and passing it on to Cloud or Stone or Sand. Anyone. When the war ended we tried to join the village but were denied entrance."

"So why do you want to join?" Itachi pressed firmly.

Ukita continued the narration. "Times change. Our children deserve a better life that we give them. When we passed the information there was no goal, no benefit. It was pointless. When we realized how stupid that was we were forced to realize a hundred other things about ourselves."

"That information cost a lot of lives." Itachi was serious now, remembering the war.

The two men closed their eyes and Uran looked at her father and grandfather with concern.

"They gave their lives as loyal ninja of Konoha. We will pass from this world as hated spies, traitors to the Fire country that housed us." Ukon spoke quietly and bowed forward, followed by Ukita. "Please grant us this opportunity to make amends by giving our clan over to the Hokage."

Itachi smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. But there was still one more problem. "What relationship do you plan for the Okano clan and Uchiha clan?"

"None." The grandfather said seriously. "Uran will marry Sasuke, but she will no longer be in our sights. Nor will her children – unless they marry back into the Okano clan. In other words, the two clans exist as separate entities. We are a proud people and refuse to loose our identity."

Sasuke saw that Itachi was happy with the answer and felt relieved. He hadn't realized until now how much his brother's approval meant to him.

"I accept the betrothal then, and we can begin planning the wedding. Although the Hokage will have to make the decision about you joining the village I will do everything in my power to sway her decision in your favor." Sasuke spoke seriously as well.

Ukon and Ukita sighed in relief and Uran ran around the table and wrapped her arms around Sasuke, kissing him rather passionately on the lips.

"And you're cute too!" She said happily.

Sasuke blinked in surprise at her forward behavior, then pulled her in for another kiss. 'This marriage stuff is fun.' He thought to himself.

Pulling back from the kiss he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "I guess we should make this official." He opened it and pulled out a very expensive engagement ring. Made of titanium it was studded with a large diamond in the center, framed by smaller diamonds. Two small emeralds framed either side of the diamonds.

The two lovebirds jumped in surprise when a flash went off. "You're mother is going to be so proud!" Ukita was grinning from ear to ear as he continued to take more pictures.

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Kakashi was all nerves when he took Sakura out to dinner that night. He had skipped that day's autograph session to run some errands and get ready. And now he and Sakura were in the hotels finest five-star restaurant.

Sakura was feeling a little nervous, too. Kakashi had returned from his errands with a beautiful dress for her and a new necklace to wear with it. The dress was shoulderless green cotton that fitted comfortably around the middle. The skirt flaired out slightly from the waist stopping mid-thigh, giving it a semi-full appearance.

The necklace was set with diamonds and emeralds and matched the dress and her eyes perfectly. It was a simple but unusual strand that contained five diamonds on one side and five emeralds on the other. Sakura had looked at it in the mirror for several minutes after putting it on and really only had one word for it – elegant.

Kakashi wore one of the beautifully elegant suits he used in his escort job. When they had left the apartment Sai had insisted on taking several pictures. Well, actually, Kakashi slipped Sai some money and asked him to just "casually" show up and "take a few pics".

Kakashi and Sakura talked about Itachi and Sasuke's love lives, Naruto's failure to propose and whether or not Sai would ever settle down with one of his many fan girls.

Finally Kakashi took Sakura to the Hotel's garden. It was dark and a little chilly, but after being in a restaurant for two hours it felt good. They sat down on a cement bench and quietly looked at the stars for a long time.

"Sakura." Kakashi's voice broke the silence, making it sound louder than it actually was. He reached for her right hand and slipped a ring over her finger. It was a solitaire with a small diamond setting.

Sakura's breath caught in her throat and she blushed, suddenly shy.

"You aren't getting away from me, Sakura. This is a promise to marry you within the next six months. No matter what is going on, where we are, or… or anything." His voice was so serious that he could have just as easily been talking about storming an enemy's stronghold.

Kakashi stroked her hand with the thumb of the hand that was still holder her. His other hand went up to her face to hold her cheek.

Sakura had been expecting to be proposed to eventually, but the actual event was beyond her expectations. The years they had spent together passed through her mind. The few short months he had been her sensei, the many years they had spent as teammates, the good times, the bad times. They had faced death together on many occasions and she had cried in his arms more times than she could count. Throughout the years he had always been there. First as a friend and now…

"This is for real. This is real. We are really going to spend out lives together." Sakura looked Kakashi in the eye as she spoke quietly.

"And if anything ever happens to me, Sakura, if I… leave before you do, all you have to do is put out your hand and I will be there, even if you don't feel anything I'll always be there." Kakashi had pulled her forward and was talking softly into her ear. She wrapped her arms around him and the two of them sat like that for a long time, as the quiet desert evening settled over the hotel.

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Later in the apartment the three women compared engagement rings and wedding plans. Sasuke and Uran would have to have a large wedding due to the prominence of the two clans involved. Nami and Sakura, on the other, really hoped for small and quiet.

Naruto showed up later after his shift as "pool boy" ended and was excited by the news. He told them that his and Hinata's wedding would be large as well.

"You gotta propose first, Naruto." Sakura said laughing. Everyone else in the room laughed as well.

"Oh, she did that months ago and I accepted." The room went silent.

"When?" Sasuke asked, shocked at the news.

"The week before we left. We're getting married next summer. Or is it this summer? I'll have to ask again." He laughed at his lack of attention.

Sakura was dubious. "I can understand you forgetting, but why didn't Hinata say anything?"

"Yeah that is odd. Oh, I know! Hiashi is stepping down from his position and she's getting ready to take his place. Lots of meetings and stuff. She's basically running things now. She's really excited about being able to help her clan."

"Wow." Sakura said in awe. "Anyone else? Temari, Deidara?"

"Huh?" They looked up from the TV show they were engrossed in with confused looks on their faces.

"Are you getting married?" Nami asked, seriously.

The two panicked. "Mar…marr… I… um…."

Everyone laughed.

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"Ah! He's got my foot! Let go! Let go! Let go!" Kabuto's screams of terror could be heard coming from the hallway. Sounds of chanting and ringing bells quickly followed. The ex-sound-nin was keeping the Shinto shrine maidens late, determined to exorcise Jiraiya from the apartment.

A shoe suddenly fell onto the coffee table. A couple seconds later Jiraiya's head popped up out of the table and he looked around the room with a big grin.

"Congrats all! Can't wait for the weddings! By the way, Naruto – book 3 page 15. Kakashi, book 5 page 200. Sasuke, book 7 page 232. And Itachi, book 5 page 223, book 6 page 50 and all of book 2." He disappeared as the two shrine maidens jumped over the couch and attacked the coffee table, chanting and shaking bells at it. Everyone scattered.

Kabuto grabbed his shoe and cradled it in his arms. "It's cursed now! What do I do!" He wailed. Jiraiya's arm reached out of the shoe and tweaked Kabuto's nose.

Everyone had run into the dining area and watched the whole scene with smirks on their faces. Sasuke's future in-laws were concerned but he reassured him that while Kabuto was quite insane he was only a danger to half-wit ghosts. A hand reached out of the wall and hit Sasuke on the head.

"I'm not a half-wit. You notice he hasn't dispelled me yet!"

"Exactly my point!" Sasuke yelled at him, rubbing his head.

"Oh." Jiraiya's head came through the wall and he gave another big smile. "Sorry about that, it was a compliment then. Thanks!" He hit Naruto on the head and disappeared.

Naruto frowned, then gave a sad smile. "I actually missed that since he died."

Leaving Kabuto to entertain the two maidens everyone else turned in for the night. It was nearly midnight after all. And everyone knows ghosts come out at midnight.

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Please review!

You know, I thought, "how can I possibly top the image of naked Kakashi holding two Icha Icha books in front of him" and the answer came to me. Envision, if you will, Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Sai, Kisame, Deidara, Itachi, Kabuto, Hidan… oh just about every guy in the manga… standing naked holding Icha Icha books in front of them. Nice. XD


	14. Chapter 14 Ghost Writer

Thanks for the reviews and fav's!

Please review!

Disclaimer: Kishimoto is owned by Naruto.

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Chapter 14 – The Ghost Writer

The first visual indication that villages were being franchised came in the form of a new symbol on the forehead protectors of the ninja showing up for autographs. A half circle with lines radiating out from it – like a sun.

Gaara's ANBU and Konoha's ANBU returned from Waterfall with news that upon Jiraiya's death his account was held in escrow for one year. When no one stepped forward as an heir the money was turned over to the state. That avenue was now closed. Naruto was beaten upside the head, though, for not claiming the funds which, it turned out, had been clearly identified in his sensei's will.

Naruto's defense was that since his fifteen-year-old self knew he was inheriting a fortune from his parent's estate when he turned eighteen he didn't think at the time he would need any more money. Everyone had sighed in resignation. If there was one thing Naruto was not it was greedy.

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As the week progressed Sakura found herself getting anxious. She cared a great deal for Sasuke as a friend and as… well she had a special place in her heart for him since he had been her first love.

Nami had practically moved into the apartment and her father had even showed up a couple times to have private conversations with Itachi.

The morning of the seventh day Sakura and Nami surprised everyone by hugging and crying. They refused to tell anyone what it was about and, well, seeing as the only other people in the room were men they just figured it was PMS or something and blew them off.

Sakura scheduled a meeting with Lady Suzu for the following day. Despite Nami's assurances that she and Itachi would still be happy if they did not receive permission to marry Sakura knew that deep down inside the woman did care a great deal about it. If she didn't, Itachi wouldn't have bought her an engagement ring and she wouldn't have gotten excited over it. She was just cushioning herself in case Lady Suzu said "no".

The next day Lady Suzu met Sakura in the tea room for lunch. The brightly lit restaurant consisted of round tables with starched white table-clothes, napkins and an abundance of flowers. The ceramic tea-pots all contained a floral print as did the delicate tea-cups. Tea was accompanied in British style with cucumber sandwiches, dainty cakes and tasty chocolates. Sakura made a mental note to bring Temari, Nami and Uran down for tea soon.

"So, Sakura dear what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Lady Suzu was primly attired in a lavender suit. She also had added a silver stud under her bottom lip.

Sakura sipped her tea (orange pekoe) and set the cup down on the saucer. "I wanted to ask permission for Nami and Itachi to marry." A direct statement was always the best way to begin such conversations.

Lady Suzu gave Sakura a crooked smile. It was almost calculating. "Nami has been wearing an engagement ring for several weeks now. I see you waited until now to ask. Can I take that to mean you have examined her motives and given her a passing grade?"

Sakura was a little taken aback by the woman's forwardness and observational abilities. For a Daimyou's wife she was very… different. Unexpected.

"Yes." Sakura didn't see the point in explaining why she thought so. She wondered if Lady Suzu already knew.

Lady Suzu gave a short laugh. "Then they have my approval. It is better for you all to work this out than for me. As Itachi and Nami's friends, you would be, should be in a better position to detect false pretenses. How soon do they wish to be wed?"

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and gave Lady Suzu a big smile. "After Sasuke marries. That will be after he returns to Konoha. They need to do things in a certain order, apparently, to guarantee Sasuke is legally the clan chief so there won't be any arguments in later generations."

"Of course. I completely understand. My husband deals with at least one of those complaints every year." She laughed. "He got so mad a few years back at one clan that he almost disbanded them. They panicked and withdrew the complaint."

They ate their sandwiches and nibbled on cakes and chocolates for several minutes when the subject turned to the autograph sessions.

"They are going well." Sakura smiled. "I'm seeing some new head bands though."

"Ah yes. The sun. It is all pervasive here in Wind country, is it not?" Lady Suzu smiled, raising one eyebrow to make her point.

Sakura kept smiling but for some reason felt a chill run up her spine. The picture was only half a sun. A half circle. Like… a sunset or a… She gulped then hid her shock by drinking some tea. Sunrise. It looked like a sunrise.

"How many countries' hidden villages have you purchased so far?" Sakura asked off-handed.

"Twelve. Most are countries that are far from here and you've probably never seen their ninja. It turns out that since the last war a lot of the smaller villages were unable to keep up and went bankrupt almost immediately. They had no business sense and made bad fiscal decisions. By stepping in as we have we have been able to rebuild several villages and even strengthen them. We even worked out deals with the countries they were in to provide security and support. Two wars were diverted in the process, saving thousands of lives. We are very proud of our accomplishments." Lady Suzu's candid response surprised Sakura. It really sounded like the woman and her husband were helping these villages. Could it be true?

Sakura sighed. "It sounds like a dream come true. Some people claim peace is a state with no war. However, there will always be conflict. Clans feud, banks are robbed, workers are underpaid, psychopaths kill. If the ninja can be used to help people caught in those situations then I feel better. Like I exist for a reason."

Lady Suzu gave Sakura a real, heartfelt smile. "Peace is more of a comfort zone than a reality. The absence of open-warfare is the easiest definition, but there is also hidden hostility and political intrigues that can cause death and discomfort. An embargo prevents food and medicine from passing borders, causing starvation and plague. People cannot pass borders, splitting up families. Goods, both raw and finished, cannot be transported, causing business to fail. Separatist philosophies cause misunderstandings leading to hatred and fear. My husband and I are trying to help the ninjas be a force to help peace prevail."

Sakura didn't know what to think about that. The woman seemed to be explaining what was going on but she needed to think about what she was saying. Careful not to express an opinion Sakura nodded her head and said she understood the problem and wished them luck in their endeavors.

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That evening she reiterated the conversation to the group (minus Kabuto who was currently having dinner with the two shrine maidens in one of the restaurants). There was much rejoicing at the news that Itachi and Nami would be allowed to wed, but guarded skepticism at Lady Suzu's words.

"It sounds like it could work." Sasuke said quietly.

Sakura spoke hesitantly. "She is creating a global police force."

"It's a difficult situation. I'll send a message to the Hokage and Kazekage." Kakashi shook his head. The situation was politically motivated, but there were other things to consider as well. The biggest consideration was what would the Daimyou do once he got all his hidden villages up to full power. Were they truly a police force to keep peace in the various countries, or a single army to attack and take over the countries?

"Sakura, why did she tell you this stuff?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know. She was more candid today and less like an air-head. Also, it was weird and I don't know why I would even bring it up, but she was wearing a stud below her lower lip. How many middle-aged women do you see doing that?" Sakura answered Naruto.

Itachi, Kisame and Deidara, who had been half ignoring the conversation suddenly became very alert. Looking at each with knowing glances they left the room.

"What was that about?" Naruto asked.

"Who knows. Maybe one of them had to go to the bathroom." Nami said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Girls do that, not guys." Sasuke said smirking.

"Oh. Sorry. Forgot. So Sakura, want to go to the bathroom with me?" Nami could only keep a straight face for about fifteen seconds before she and Sakura broke out in giggles.

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"Sasuke, why are you in the kitchen? It's not your turn to cook." Naruto perched himself on a stool and watched as his friend poured ingredients into a bowl attached to a blender.

"Uran wanted some chocolate chip cookies. Now be quiet I'm trying to read the directions. Sasuke checked over the contents of the recipe attempting verify that everything had made its way into the bowl.

"Whipped already, huh?" Naruto laughed.

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you just go to the hotel's gift shop and get her some? They are made here in the restaurant."

"She likes home made cookies." Sasuke stated plainly.

"So she got you to make them." Naruto was starting to have fun.

"So what? I like to cook. I just… I just never get the opportunity." He switched the blender on and flour blew all over the kitchen.

"If you like to cook so much how come you didn't know that you need to put the cover over the bowl before turning the blender on? Also, you need to add the flour a little at a time and start the speed off at two then gradually move it up." Naruto was laughing now.

"How the hell would you know that! Your food tastes like crap!" Sasuke brushed flour off of his face.

"The food I cook for you guys tastes like crap. The stuff I make for Hinata tastes like heaven."

"Oh? And you call me whipped? Listen to yourself!" Sasuke was now correctly blending the ingredients, following Naruto's advice.

"I am whipped. I admit it. I am proud of it. And I am well rewarded for it as well. Hinata is not nearly as shy in the bedroom as she is anywhere else." Naruto winked to his friend.

"Really? Just because you can cook?" Sasuke perked up and looked at his friend.

"Really. Women like it when men help them. They feel they are bonding or something."

"Oh. So… did you take classes? Or did Sakura help you?" Sasuke was envisioning several x-rated situations with his fiancé over his chocolate chip cookies.

"Chouji. When we get back, have him show you a few things. All you need to do is learn to cook a few dishes very well and Uran will be worshipping at your feet. In the meantime, let me help you get those into the oven. You need to use a cookie sheet for cookies, not a roasting pan." Naruto stood up and started digging through the drawers.

Meanwhile, while their heads were turned a disembodied arm appeared and swiped a finger through the dough. Three times. And each time it came out clean.

Without turning around Naruto chastised his dead sensei, "You need a body to lick the bowl pervy-sage."

"I knew that." Jiraiya materialized onto the same stool Naruto had been sitting on a few minutes ago. "By the way, Sasuke, there's a great cooking scene in book 2, chapter 5." He gave the flour covered young man a big smile and a thumbs-up.

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"Pop!" A sharp sound was heard and a two foot tall blue and white slug materialized in the living room. In a polite, feminine voice the slug turned to face Kakashi and spoke apologetically, "I am sorry to interrupt your evening but I have important information from Mistress Tsunade."

Kakashi smiled, "Go ahead, what is going on?"

"It seems the smaller villages are no longer accepting missions outside of their borders. Also, any requirement for a ninja must be handled by that countries ninja village and not externally. On the other hand, if the client has a requirement for a ninja that would leave the country it must be handled by one of the big five countries. It has increased the number of missions for both small and large countries, and profits are going back up." The slug's soft voice was very calming.

"Thank-you for the information. Was there anything else?" Kakashi responded with equal politeness.

"Mistress wants to know when she will be a grandma because she went to a baby shower the other day for one of the nurses and really liked all the cute baby clothes."

Standing up, Sakura balled her fists and yelled, "WHAT!"

Kakashi swallowed once then lifted up his arm to scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment. "It'll be a while, we're not even married yet."

The slug dropped her head and looked at the floor, somehow managing to look dejected. "And she was so looking forward to it. I guess I had better be heading back now." Another pop was heard and the slug disappeared.

"Naruto!" Sakura said sternly. "It looks like you will be Hokage sooner than you thought! When I get back I'm pounding that woman into the ground!"

Naruto laughed nervously. "But… but she was just… a baby Sakura or Kakashi would be cute, don't you think?"

"Especially if it's a baby Kakashi with spikey pink hair or a baby Sakura with silver hair and one eye." As usual, Sai thought he was helping. Luckily, though, Sakura's anger disappeared quickly.

"I guess that's just her way of giving us her blessings, Kakashi. Besides, when we call her to babysit our six kids we'll have plenty of ways to get back at her." Sakura grinned evilly.

"Six?" Kakashi said with a worried voice.

"Yes. Six. Six children." An evil laugh came from Sakura's contorted face. "Then she'll think twice about embarrassing me again."

"Okay – but you realize that in order to get those six children you have to be pregnant six times. And six time nine months is fifty-four months of child carrying." Kakashi was beginning to think twice about having one kid.

"Yes!" Sakura said triumphantly, however her face quickly fell into an expression of worry. "What? Fifty-four months? That's… four and a half years."

"It's what?" Nami said, concerned. "That's a long time."

"Too bad, you already said you want seven or eight kids, can't back down now." Itachi teased.

Uran looked worried. "Sasuke?"

"I have no intention of letting Itachi outdo me." Sasuke said seriously.

"Is that a challenge, little brother?" Itachi gave his brother a big smile.

"And I won't let either of you outdo me! Hinata will have twelve children!" Naruto stood up, making his declaration to the world.

"Ha! Uran is having thirteen!" Sasuke declared just as loud.

"That's an unlucky number, Sasuke!" Uran yelled.

"Then fourteen!" Sasuke yelled back.

"Fine! But don't you dare go back on your word!" Uran yelled back, then smiled.

"I won't! I will rebuild my clan with fourteen chil… umm…what?" Sasuke calmed down. He had started out teasing his brother and somehow Uran and Naruto had drawn him into agreeing to have… how many children? "I umm… I was just kidding, Uran."

Uran put her arms around Sasuke's neck and kissed him. "I wasn't." she said softly.

Sasuke pointed a finger at Sakura, "This was your fault! You'd _better_ get Tsunade to babysit for you because you're going too busy babysitting my fourteen kids to watch them yourself! _And_ I'm throwing in Itachi's eight kids for good measure!"

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After laughing over the future babysitting chores of Tsunade and Sakura, Team 7 got down to discussing the curious situation that the slug summons had disclosed. It seemed to lack any motivation other than a dubious wish for peace. Oddly enough, the three ex-Akatsuki believed that the motivation was anything but dubious.

"What do you know?" Kakashi prodded the three men.

Deidara looked at Itachi and Kisame who in turn were looking at the floor. "We…we think Lady Suzu is actually Konan. The forehead protector symbol for the countries they are buying looks like a rising sun. Akatsuki has been reborn under a new guise. The Daimyou… he must be Pein. Konan was so devoted to him that I can't imagine her falling for someone else."

"So what happened to the real Lady Suzu?" Sakura asked in a small voice.

"Maybe captive, maybe dead." Kisame answered.

Naruto shook his head and sighed. "I thought I had killed him. I… I felt sorry for him in the end. He told me of his wish for peace and I felt sorry for him. If he survived, he must still want it." Everyone was silent for a few minutes.

"Is there any chance Madara is behind the scenes here?" Sasuke asked hesitantly. He distinctly remembered killing the man and hoped to god that he was actually dead. It had taken all he had to defeat him and now that he had gotten his life back together again he didn't want to tear it all down again by hunting that man.

"No." Itachi spoke quietly. "Madara's methods are much more violent. This time everything is being done non-violently. Also, Pein resurrected us. He always used to lecture us on supporting our comrades when one of us died and the others made rude remarks about them. He was a strong man, but he felt sorrow over the passing of his subordinates. I believe Pein and Konan may truly be trying to make their dream of peace come true this time."

"Via porn?" Sakura asked.

"I didn't say they were sane." Itachi answered dryly.

The elevator doors opened and Kabuto entered the apartment with his arms around the two giggling shrine maidens. "Come on girls. That ghost won't exorcise itself! My room is rife with supernatural terrors!" His voice was full of amusement now instead of fear.

"Anything you say Kabuto sweetie." One of the girls said.

"I brought some massage oil." The other girl said.

"Kabuto!" Kisame called to him. "Aren't those girls Shinto shrine maidens? Doesn't that mean 'hands-off'?"

"Nah." One of the girls answered. "We just pretended to be shrine maidens so we could make some money. Come on Kabuto, let's go to your room." The three of them walked down the hall.

"I guess that means he's not afraid of Jiraiya anymore." Kisame shook his head and looked at the floor.

"That's sweet Kisame, you were defending their honor!" Sakura beamed at the blue shark man with mock respect.

Kisame blushed slightly. "I was just asking a question, don't read too much into it."

"Hey! Anyone got any paper and a pencil? There's some good research possibilities going on it Kabuto's room right now and I don't want to miss anything!" Jiraiya's ghost materialized in front of the TV.

"Better than book 3, chapter 10?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"Better than book 6, chapter 11?" Deidara arched his eyebrows.

"Better than the TV show we've been trying to watch for the last half hour!" Sakura yelled, throwing a pillow through the ghost. "You're a ghost! How were you planning on holding the paper! And why are you still hanging around?"

"Ah! Well, you see… there was a _little teeny_ problem with a bathhouse and this guy was a _little_ upset I was researching his girlfriend and let's just say the afterlife is not someplace you want to be right now. But as soon as things quiet down up there I'll go back. Don't worry!" As usual, Jiraiya showed no shame and was completely cheerful.

Naruto shook his head. "You never change, do you. Come on. You dictate and I'll write."

"Naruto!" Sakura gasped. "You are not going to spy on someone having sex!"

"I am. It's Kabuto, Sakura. _Kabuto_. Aren't you even the least bit interested? He's so…weird. And he's with two hot shrine maidens. Fake shrine maidens. It's like watching a guy at a circus put needles through his cheeks. It's gross but you have to watch."

Sai stood up. "We can use my ink mice jutsu."

"Great! Let's go!" Naruto and Sai wandered down the hall and Jiraiya floated behind them.

Ten months later a new book in the Icha Icha series came out. And new books continued to come out for many years to come. But that's another story…

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Please review!

I'm a bit surprised at how much you guys like Ghost Jiraiya, but he's really fun to write XD Oddly enough, being a ghost seems to suit him for some reason – not in the morbid sense either.


	15. Chapter 15 Didn't I Kill You?

Well, this is kind of a transitional chapter so I don't think it's very funny. It does have a great Kakashi / Sakura scene at the end though. Next week I have something amazing planned, though.

I got some great reviews this week! Thanks everyone!

Disclaimer: Kakashi is owned by Naruto.

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Chapter 15 – Didn't I Kill You?

The autograph sessions were now only two hours a day as the number of people showing up had dropped. Sakura was back to working in the small hotel clinic and Kakashi was once again escorting middle aged women to hotel events.

Uran had been spending a lot of time with Sasuke. Her father and grandfather had received a summons from the Hokage concerning their petition to join Konoha and had left several days earlier. This gave Uran a chance to follow Sasuke closely and learn more about him. It also gave her a chance to get to know Sakura, Temari and Nami better.

The story of how Uran and Sasuke met took a rather interesting turn. It turned out, as Uran related during lunch in the tea shop, she had spotted Sasuke a couple years ago while he was on a mission in her village.

"It was lust at first sight." Uran laughed. "He was standing on a tall rock, hair and shirt blowing dramatically in the wind and his gorgeous chest… Oh god! I had to have him. The question was, how? I'm not a 'fan-girl' type and frankly I wouldn't marry no less date the type of guy who hung out with 'fan-girls' anyway." She paused and laughed again.

"So I started to follow him and I noticed that he pushed all the women away from him. I thought, 'this looks promising' and I started to talk to him. I found out he was single, a clan chief of Konoha, and desperately wanted to revive his clan. He also had very little patience and had a controlling personality. But what really got me and made me curious was that when he thought no one was looking he would get this sad expression on his face that for some reason made me want to hug him. I'm not even the 'hugging' type!

"I asked my mother and grandmother about it and they just laughed at me and said how proud they were that their little girl was all grown up now. It made me want to gag. But Sasuke left after his mission ended and I couldn't get him out of my mind. Then grandfather said he wanted us to join Konoha. I thought, 'perfect, I could be near Sasuke again' so I suggested a union between me and him and father talked to grandfather and hired a go-between to speak to the Hokage. She called in Sasuke and told him that he was going to get married and she was tired of his excuses. I don't know what she meant by that. That was a year ago, but while he spent a lot of time in my village he never introduced me to you guys or invited me to Konoha."

"Sasuke is afraid of getting close to people Uran." Sakura explained. "He had a traumatic childhood and his brain was messed with by a couple powerful ninja's. But after coming here and re-uniting with his brother he has gotten a lot better. Perhaps that helped him take the final step to be with you."

"Well I'm glad anyway. I got my man! And he's surprisingly well behaved too." Everyone laughed.

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The number of small ninja villages that were being bought up continued to increase and the amount of work being funneled to the big five villages increased. As Kakashi suspected there was a distinct separation of duties that the large and small villages undertook. The small villages took care of internal crime – murder, robbery, kidnapping – while the larger villages took are of any crime that crossed boundaries – such as a murder who fled from Rain to Grass - or straightforward assassinations and escort missions between countries. There was more to it than that, but on the whole it was raking in the money for both small and large countries.

Waterfall had even signed a treaty to cooperate with the new arrangement – although it was only good for two years. They wanted to test the waters first before committing wholeheartedly to the plan.

However the issue of what happened to the Wind's Daimyou and his wife weighed on everyone's minds. Gaara's ANBU had been unable to find anything out. For all intents and purposed the two were happily ensconced in their castle in the capital and had been for nearly three decades.

The ex-Akatsuki were a little different in how they viewed the issue though. Itachi, Kisame and Deidara were convinced that Pein and Konan were behind the whole thing. Although they didn't show it, Kakashi suspected they were afraid they were going to be called upon to rejoin an organization they now hated with every fiber of their being. The three men became jumpy and when Lady Suzu showed up at roll call one morning Deidara was so out of sorts that Kisame grabbed the back of the man's shirt in his hand to hold him still. He didn't think Deidara was going to attack her, he was just jittery and when he got like that he tended to "run at the mouth" so to speak. The last thing they needed was for Deidara to say something he shouldn't.

Lady Suzu noticed, of course. Not much went past her, even if she didn't let on at the time. The smile she gave Deidara was almost bittersweet and she left without speaking.

A week later the group was called for a last minute meeting in one of the hotels conference rooms. The three ex-Akatsuki, Kabuto, and Team 7 walked into the darkened room and were ushered into some chairs that sat around a large table. They sat there for about fifteen minutes, at which time the doors opened again to admit Tsunade and Gaara, who were also asked to sit and wait. Tea was served and several plates of cookies were placed around the table by a couple waiters.

The two Kage's said they had been requested to attend the meeting by the Daimyou and were just as much in the dark about what it was about as everyone else.

Finally, after thirty minutes of waiting four people walked into the room. The Daimyou and his wife, Lady Suzu, and…

"Pein! I thought I killed you!" Naruto stood up and pointed his finger at the orange haired man. Konan was standing next to him smirking.

"Didn't I tell you that Pein has never lost a fight?" She gloated, but more out of amusement than bitterness.

"Yeah, but, I didn't believe you." Naruto sat back down with a defeated look on his face.

"It's okay, Naruto. If it makes you feel better it took me nearly seven months to recuperate." Pein gave the man a half smile.

Naruto didn't know what to think of that and blinked a couple times in confusion. He had lost the bitterness he had felt over Pein's murder of Jiraiya after he found out about how Madara had twisted the man's desire for peace into one of conflagration. What had begun as a battle for vengeance had ended as a battle between equals. He smiled and sat back in his chair, curious to find out what kind of a second chance the man had created for himself.

The Daimyou cleared his throat. "Since you have all been so good at intelligence gathering, we discussed it and decided that perhaps we should tell you what is going on. First, though, I assure you that world domination, mass murder and war are not on our agenda. You have correctly guessed most of what this is about. That is, using the major five villages for international peace-keeping and the smaller villages for internal affairs. This creates a market that splits competition into more manageable chunks and allows for greater profitability for everyone. I ask that you look at the situation the same way Waterfall has and allow a couple years to pass before rendering judgment."

Tsunade spoke in her usual firm voice. "Why are you allied with Pein and Konan then?"

"They provided the capital from the remains of the Akatsuki accounts and Pein is a marvelous strategist who came to us with an idea for peace." The Daimyou looked at Pein with nothing short of gratitude. "Lady Suzu and I have lost two sons in war already, as well as a boy one of our daughters was planning on marrying. People think that because of our position this doesn't affect us, but it does. Perhaps even more-so because I am the one who ordered the battles they died in."

Kakashi frowned then addressed Pein. "The last war, you sought to destroy the world then re-make it anew. Why has that changed?"

"I, like Itachi and Deidara was a child when Madara recruited me. It was almost six months after Jiraiya had left. We had run into a bad situation – which I won't go into here – and he preyed off of my desire to protect my friends. I followed him for the next twenty or so years as he warped my vision and turned my desire for peace into a desire for war. When I fought Naruto I realized… I awoke from Madara's twisted dream and when I was ready to deliver the killing blow I backed off and withdrew. I knew there was a peaceful way to achieve my dream and with the help of Wind's Daimyou we are in a position to achieve it."

"Konan?" Kakashi asked, pressing her for her story.

She smiled. "I love Pein with all my heart."

Lady Suzu smiled as well. "When I saw Deidara's reaction it almost broke my heart. I resurrected him, Itachi, Kisame and Kabuto at the request of Pein and Konan – their small act of retribution for the lives they cut short. I've become very attached them – to everyone. You are so much like our children it's amusing. Our remaining children are grown up and spread out over the country and we only see them once a year now."

Deidara frowned and looked down at his hands, suddenly becoming very interested in his fingernails.

Tsunade and Gaara looked at each other for a minute then nodded. Tsunade spoke. "We will wait two years then. We will be observing the operation closely. And for what its' worth, I hope it works out."

The meeting ended and Itachi was given some good news. He and Nami would be allowed to move to Konoha. He smiled saying that Nami would be very pleased, however he felt it would be difficult for him to deal with all the memories and tried to refuse the invitation. In the end Sasuke convinced him to return, saying he was going to tear down and rebuild the Uchiha compound and Itachi should give it a chance for Nami's sake, as well as their future children. Itachi agreed with a hesitant smile.

The Okano clan had also received good news. They would be allowed to move into Konoha as well. Although housing them would be a challenge. There were over two hundred people in the clan.

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"So where is Tsunade?" Kakashi asked Sakura when he entered the apartment a few hours later. Sakura was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"She's in my room drooling over your pictures. You know, we _really_ got to find her a boyfriend."

"Aren't you jealous?" Kakashi teased.

Sakura smiled. "No. I'm not."

"Good." He bent down, placed his hands on either side of her face and gently kissed her lips. As the kiss became more heated he kneeled down in front of her so he could place one hand on her back, pulling her against his chest. Sakura pushed forward they both rolled onto the floor.

"Did I miss the wedding?" Sai's voice brought them back to reality.

"Must of. I didn't get an invitation either, un." Deidara smirked.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked.

"Kakashi and Sakura are having sex on the floor un. I thought they wanted to wait until after they were married, un." Deidara laughed. "Come watch. Maybe you'll learn something un."

"I already know how to have sex." Naruto looked over the couch at Kakashi and Sakura who were still in each other's arms. "That's not how it's done, you two. Wait here, I'll go get a video. After you watch it you can try again." Naruto walked off smiling.

"We don't need a video!" Sakura yelled as Naruto disappeared down the hall.

"Well, let's just watch it first and see… Ow!" Sakura punched Kakashi in the arm, then laughed at him.

"Anyone ever tell you, you have a dirty mind?" Sakura smiled.

"Does that mean we don't get to watch the video?" Kakashi pretended to look sad.

Naruto walked back into the living room. "There's no video, I was just teasing. Where is grandma Tsunade?"

"In my room looking at the pictures of Kakashi." Sakura answered.

"We got to get her a boyfriend." Naruto answered.

"That's what I said, then Kakashi kissed me."

"Ick! He better not kiss me now!" Naruto scrunched up his face.

"Don't worry Naruto, I think you're safe." Kakashi deadpanned.

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A few days later Sakura walked into her bathroom and put her nightgown on the counter, then sat down on a chair. She had been feeling dizzy for a couple hours, as well as a little sick. She was sure if she took a shower she would feel better.

Standing up she walked over to the large white and blue tiled shower stall and turned on the water, dumping shampoo in her hair she half-heartedly rubbed it around a couple times then rinsed it out. She rested her head on the side of the shower as another wave of dizziness overtook her. She put some conditioner in her hair and then dumped some soap on a sponge and washed herself off.

"Sakura?" Kakashi's voice could be heard outside of her bathroom. She realized she hadn't shut the door all the way. "Naruto said you weren't feeling well and didn't want any dinner. Everyone's worried. Should you be taking a shower?"

"I'm fine." Sakura's voice came out very soft, but she didn't notice.

"Sakura? I think I should come in." Kakashi put his hand on the door and hesitated. Naruto had been almost panicked. He said Sakura had nearly passed out when she got out of the elevator and she had a fever. Since she rarely got sick she tended to be a little too brave about it and that also worried Naruto. And now Kakashi was worried as well.

Bang! Sakura grabbed the side of the shower with her hands when she blacked out for a second. Someone's arms suddenly wrapped around her, holding her up. She started to tremble visibly.

"It's okay, Sakura, I'll rinse your hair out then get you into bed." He wrapped one arm around her torso and held her tightly to his chest as he moved under the shower head and massaged her head, getting all of the conditioner out. He then moved his arm under her legs, carrying her out of the shower. Sitting down on the chair he sat her sideways on his lap then grabbed a towel and started to dry her off.

"Sorry… Kakashi…" She was very embarrassed. She was naked, sitting on Kakashi's lap and she couldn't even take care of herself. She was still trembling badly and her teeth started to chatter. She leaned into him, feeling his warmth. "Sorry… you're…wet."

"It's okay, Sakura. I'm just glad you weren't taking a bath." He had a sudden vision of his little Sakura floating in a tub, drowned. He shuddered. Wrapping a towel around her head he carried her into the bedroom, and put her in the bed.

"Nightgown." She said weakly.

"Don't worry about it right now. Just close your eyes and go to sleep. I'm going to stay right here with you." He moved the blankets closer around her and she quickly fell asleep. Opening the door he saw Naruto leaning against the wall opposite the door.

"She probably has the flu or something. It's nothing to worry about right now, but can you have Kabuto or someone cook up a batch of some clear soup for later? I'm going to stay in here with her tonight." He spoke quietly so he wouldn't wake Sakura.

"Sure. I'll get right on it. Let one of us know if you need something. Should we call a medic?"

"She's okay right now. Her fever is high, but not dangerously high. Let's just let her get some sleep and see how she feels in the morning. She's pretty healthy so I think a couple days in bed will probably be good enough." Kakashi gave his friend a worried smile, then closed the door.

Removing his own wet clothes he draped them over a chair in front of the vent in the bathroom and wrapped a large bath towel around his middle. He then sat down on the couch and pulled the curtains back a little bit so he could look out at the sunset. He shuddered again. "Thank god you didn't take a bath…" He had a feeling he was going to have nightmares about that for a long time to come. "That just proves how much I love you, Sakura."

Sakura was sleeping lightly, too ill to get comfortable and not tired enough to fall asleep fully. She could sense Kakashi sitting nearby and tried to concentrate on his chakra signature instead of her queasy stomach. It helped. Not a lot, but a little was enough. Eventually Kakashi walked over to the bed and laid down on top of the covers next to her. He adjust the blankets so they were flush against her chin then stroked her hair. She smiled at him.

"You should be asleep." Kakashi said softly.

Sakura opened her eyes then closed them again. Kakashi smiled at her then laid down on his back. He felt her finally drift off to sleep and he followed her a few minutes later.

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Okay, I liked the kakasaku bit here.

Oh, and the bit with Pein… I actually believe when he finally fights Naruto we will find out that he had a good heart, just that Madara has twisted him up so bad that he no longer sees the world right. But Naruto will fix things and he will die with a good heart again. So that's kind of what I was hinting at in my story. Naruto gave him a second chance and this time he really is going to promote peace and in homage to the sensei he killed, it be attained through the propagation of porn! XD (I didn't say my theory made sense so please don't kill me…)

Any way, Please Review!

Next week…. Does anyone remember if a full house beats a straight? Hmm… maybe Jiraiya knows… Okay! Who invited the old folks?


	16. Chapter 16 Poker

Disclaimer – Kishimoto is owned by Naruto and kept chained in Ibiki's dungeon. He is currently being tortured for his knowledge of Akatsuki. Much to Ibiki's distaste Kishimoto is revealing his knowledge by drawing manga panels. Tsunade is selling them to Shonen Jump to fund her gambling vacation fund. XD

Thanks for the reviews and fav's!

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Chapter 16 – Poker

Sakura slept most of the next day. She woke up occasionally to drink some warm soup and take some medicine. Her heart always skipped a beat when she saw Kakashi sitting nearby.

"You're going to catch what I have." Sakura said in a weak voice.

Kakashi stood up from the couch where he had been reading and walked over to the bed. "I like getting things from you." He gave her a big smile and she gave him a soft laugh.

"But will you still think that when you're the one stuck in bed?"

"Will you be there to hold my hand? Will you read me stories until I fall asleep?" He sat down on the bed and pulled the covers back up to her neck.

Sakura couldn't help but smile. "I'll even show you the pictures as I'm reading."

"See? No problems. Now have some water and go back to sleep."

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The next afternoon Sakura was feeling much better. Kakashi was busy escorting a couple women to a tea party so Nami and Uran were keeping her company. Actually, they were doing more than keeping her company. They were teaching her to play poker. And they had sworn her to secrecy in all matters concerning their instruction.

Puzzled, Sakura listened carefully to everything the two women told her, but her heart wasn't really in the game. To tell the truth, she had never liked games much. They were too sedentary. She preferred more active pursuits, which is probably why she became a kunoichi.

"Guys, I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in card games." Sakura put her cards down on the bed and leaned back against the wall.

"Hmmm. Uran, we have a problem." Nami smirked.

"Definitely." Uran said seriously.

"What should we do about this?"

"Good question. How about… upping the stakes?" Uran looked at Sakura and raising one eyebrow gave her a crooked smile.

"Friday evening. Nine o clock, night, we will challenge the men to a game of poker." Nami's tone was conspiratorial.

"So? They play poker all the time. Or they play Mah Jongg. They love to gamble. How does that concern me?" Sakura was very puzzled over why the two women were so insistent on challenge.

"She doesn't get it Nami." Uran sounded like she was trying not to laugh.

"Our little girl is so innocent."

"Let's not tell her until Friday. It'll be funny."

"Okay." Nami agreed. She tossed a book at Sakura and it landed on her stomach. "I would suggest you read this. And don't mention anything to Kakashi, it's supposed to be a surprise."

Sakura sat back up and saw that the book was on poker strategies. "Hmmm. Okay… I'm trapped here until Thursday anyway. But I'm not really into this."

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"Grandchildren." Tsunade was back in Sakura's room, standing in front of the two pictures of Kakashi. "That man could give me some wonderful grandchildren, I'm sure. Sakura? Are you pregnant yet?"

Sakura pounded her fist on the bed next to where she was laying. "NO! For the millionth time today, I am not pregnant!"

"Well why the hell not? I mean, look at him! I might get pregnant just standing here in front of the picture!" Tsunade sighed and sat on the couch. "Your mother is very concerned."

Sakura pouted, "My mother doesn't give a shit when or if I get pregnant! It's you that's being broody."

"I want boys and girls so make sure you have both." Tsunade continued with a half smile.

"Arghhh! Are you listening to me?" Sakura yelled.

"Pink hair and white hair are cute, but blond is good too." Tsunade wasn't listening.

Sakura smiled at her old sensei. "Why don't you go and have your own kids? Besides, Naruto calls you 'grandma' isn't that enough for you?"

Tsunade frowned, suddenly very sad. "That was a mistake. Being away from Minato and his son. I should have stayed in the village to be with them. That, Sakura, is something I will always regret. The lost years."

"What?" Sakura felt like she walked in on the middle of a conversation. "Are you saying that Minato..."

"Well, gotta go! I'm going to go have a discussion with Gaara about a few things then get in some gambling. I'm on vacation you know, a few more days and then it's back to grindstone!" She stood up and quickly left the room.

"Is Minato related to Tsunade?" Sakura finished her sentence. "Let's see, her brother died but she never mentioned any other siblings and Dan died. I thought they hadn't had children although she never actually said so. Maybe a cousin?" She got out of bed and started pacing, but stopped after a couple minutes and started laughing. "She always does this to me! Confusing me for no reason than to see me get all worked up. Or is she trying to lay a guilt trip on me?"

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Friday evening Nami, Uran, Temari and the two shrine maidens barged into Sakura's room and invaded her closet. Coming out after several minutes with several articles of clothing Sakura was quickly dressed.

"What is this? Why are you putting so many clothes on me?" Sakura tried to struggle as two tank tops, two short-sleeve shirts, a long sleeve sweater, shorts and a pair of sweat pants were forcefully shoved on her.

Temari picked Sakura up and Uran pulled a pair of socks over her feet.

"Because the chances that you actually studied that book on poker are about zero." Temari said with a wicked grin. "And us girls are not going to loose tonight because of you."

"Loose what? Just don't have me play!" Sakura said with exasperation.

"Come one!" One of the shrine maidens said hurriedly.

"We don't have all night! We have to start the game before the guys wander off somewhere!" The other shrine maiden said.

Sakura looked at the two women who had identical long black hair, brown eyes and porcelain skin and were dressed in blue jeans and identical green shirts. "Do you guys have names?"

"Yeah. Now get your butt to the living room!" The two maidens spoke simultaneously.

"Okay." Sakura felt like pouting, but decided to just go along with them instead. Maybe it would be fun. Whatever it was.

They walked out into the main room of the apartment and stood in a line in front of the men, who were parked in front of the TV watching some generic sitcom.

Uran stepped up a couple paces and called attention to herself by clearing her throat. "We, the ladies of… whatever this place is… challenge the men to poker!"

"Poker!" Sasuke said surprised. "Why poker?"

"Oh god. Foolish little brother. Can you not see what is going on?" Itachi stood up and faced the women. "We accept! Winner take all."

"Agreed!" Nami said, flashing an evil smile.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked as he followed everyone to the table.

"Poker, lover." Uran said sweetly.

"I hate games." Sasuke said. He and Sakura were alike in their reasons. Sedentary activities tested their patience.

"So how are we going to do this?" Kakashi asked as he looked at all the people seated at the table. He counted fifteen people – Kabuto, two shrine maidens, himself, Sakura, Nami, Itachi, Uran, Sasuke, Deidara, Temari, Naruto, Sai, Kisame and Kankuro.

"No problem!" Tsunade walked into the room and stood near the center of the table. "I'll be the dealer, we'll just combine a couple… three decks." She grabbed the cards that Nami had placed on the table and broke open the decks. "Brand new, as you can see. Now. Girls on this side of the table, boys on that side." Everyone shuffled around to the correct spot. "No trading cards with each or other acts of cheating."

"And I'll be watching!!" Jiraiya popped out of the table with a huge grin on his face. "I'm looking forward to this!"

"Just stay out of trouble." Tsunade gave him a sideways glance that was, believe it or not, flirty.

"Ante up everyone!" Tsunade called in an official voice.

"But I don't have any money on me." Sakura said.

"Me neither. I'll go get my wallet." Sasuke added and started to stand up.

Itachi pushed him down and gave a short laugh.

Tsunade smirked, her eye gave an evil glint. "Oh, we're not playing for money."

Sakura and Sasuke looked around as Tsunade started dealing the cards and everyone picked them up, then smiled or groaned. Those who smiled promptly began stripping off clothes and those who groaned put their cards down on the table, saying they were sitting the hand out.

"What is going on?" A bell suddenly went off in Sakura's head. Sasuke laughed – a real laugh – and stripped off his jacket. He thought he had a good hand after looking at his cards and added his shirt as well.

"Aren't you going to bet, Sakura?" Kakashi said as he added his shirt to the pile.

"Umm… I…" she looked at her cards. "Okay, I'm in." She pulled off her sweater and threw it on the table.

"So five people are in." Tsunade said. The five players discarded various cards and Tsunade replaced them. Two more dropped out. Sakura, Nami and Kakashi remained. All three discarded more cards and then upped the bid with their new hands.

Nami put her cards on the table, she had a four of a kind. Kakashi went next, laying out another four of a kind and then Sakura laid out her cards. She had a straight flush. Five cards of the same suit, all spades.

"Sakura wins the first hand!" Tsunade winked at her student as Sakura collected the discarded clothes, smiling.

Nami won the next hand with a full house and Uran won the third hand with a four of a kind.

Naruto was getting suspicious and called Jiraiya over to him, "The girls are cheating. They have to be. Check it out and let me know. They're getting all our clothes but we aren't seeing much of them."

"Right on it kid!" Jiraiya went over to the girls side of the table but the shrine maidens made a couple hand signs and the dead Sannin was catapulted across the room.

"Stay on your side of the table!" One of the maidens said seriously.

Jiraiya straightened up in shock. "You…you…you can really dispel ghosts!"

"Of course! We did a lot of research to disguise ourselves as shrine maidens."

Kabuto frowned. "They why didn't you ever do it before?"

"He never pissed us off before! Besides, Lady Suzu pays well and you're kind of cute! Who knew a threesome could be so much fun!"

Kabuto felt the stares of everyone in the room and blushed a deep red. "I… um… ha ha ha!" He scratched the back of his head and laughed. "I fold." He put his cards down on the table.

"Oh god. We're going to loose, aren't we?" Kakashi said, sighing.

Sakura put her cards on the table. "Another straight flush! Anyone beat that? No? Gimme the clothes!" She laughed wickedly.

"This is revenge, Tsunade, isn't it?" Jiraiya floated in the air twenty feet away. "I didn't come here to see a bunch of naked men!" He wined sorrowfully.

"Now, now, now Jiraiya." Tsunade said in a placating tone as she prepared to deal a new hand, "I'm sure you've been seeing your fill in the ladies locker room at the pool." Jiraiya folded his arms in front of him and continued floating, eyes half shut.

A few hands later and Name and Itachi tied for the best hand. It was expected since they were playing with multiple decks but they had exactly the same cards in a straight flush.

"What now?" Nami asked.

Itachi smirked. "Hn."

Tsunade gave the reclining Jiraiya a bittersweet smile, then spoke in a kind voice, "This round has no winners." The frog hermit opened one eye, glancing back in the direction of the players.

Nami was shocked. "But… but… I've never heard of a rule like that!"

Tsunade gave Nami her sternest look and spoke authoritatively, "The dealer is always the last word at the table. You may be a gambler, Nami, but I've been one for almost three times longer than you've been alive! My rules or you leave the table!" She paused and gave the woman an evil smirk, her eye glinting again, "Anyone who leaves the table before the end of the game forfeits all their clothes!"

Jiraiya smiled, 'I love that woman. She always treats me well.' He thought to himself.

All the men sighed. Itachi and Kisame were the only ones not sitting in their underwear. However, they were feeling the strain. The only weak player on the girl's side was Sakura, and she was still very good. And she was wearing a lot of clothes, not just the ones the other women had stuffed on her but clothes she got from her "victims".

Kakashi scratched an itch on his chest. He knew that Sasuke and Sai were very uncomfortable and wanted to leave, but on the other hand Kankuro and Deidara couldn't wait to loose their clothes and Kisame and Itachi were so competitive that they were doing everything they could to win. Sighing, Kakashi decided he wanted to win as well. As lazy as he made himself out to be he never failed to rise to a challenge.

The solution to this game was simple. Cheat. And don't get caught. He caught Itachi's eye and Itachi twitched a cheek muscle to indicate he was thinking the same thing as Kakashi. It was an old, very old ANBU signal.

The next hand dealt gave Itachi and Kakashi a few good cards. Itachi gave Kisame a few signals and determined what cards he had. Casting a genjutsu over his deck he dropped a couple cards on the table. Kisame dropped one and Kakashi dropped one. No one noticed the cards falling. They saw an empty table. Because no one was expecting jutsu to be used no one was sensing for it. Besides, an advanced Uchiha using genjutsu would go virtually undetected anyway.

Itachi quickly attached chakra strings to the cards and pulled Kakashi and Kisame's cards toward him then pushed his own dropped cards to them to replace their discards. He then tapped his cards on the table to pick up the two new cards and added them to his hand.

Much better. He now had four of kind with four kings. He pulled off his t-shirt and the fishnet shirt he wore under it and threw them on the table. Everyone else placed their bids and Itachi laid his cards down on the table.

Tsunade blinked. Those were not the cards she had given him. Looking up at the man she saw his half-smile and the look in his eyes told her that he knew she knew about his cards. The man still had it. She remembered him as a child. The boy who hated to loose. Finally the game was going to get interesting.

"Itachi win's the hand." Tsunade said happily.

Itachi continued to win the next five hands and the girls were beginning to loose some clothing. Nami was suspicious, but while she was very skilled at genjutsu she was nowhere near Itachi's level.

Kakashi won the next three hands and after that Kisame won four hands. The women were becoming concerned. Finally, the first casualty. Sai stood up, removed his boxers and walked away from the table. He had bet on straight flush but Itachi's cards were higher than his.

The casualties came quickly after that until it was just Itachi, Kakashi, Nami and Sakura. The other's sat around wrapped in towels. However, no one was prepared for the last hand. Three identical straight flushes. Tsunade looked at the hands for a couple minutes unable to comprehend the massive odds of such a thing happening, even if Itachi was cheating it was still amazing. The fourth hand consisted of two pairs.

Laughing, Tsunade made her declaration. "No winners! Everyone remove your clothes!"

Itachi, Kakashi, Nami and Sakura removed the remainder of their clothing, which at this point consisted of underwear. They were quickly given towels.

Sai took several photo's of the participants, saying that Lady Suzu would like to see them.

"I never knew strip poker could be so much fun!" Sakura said as she hugged Kakashi.

"Wait until we're married, we'll play it for real and then you'll see just how much fun it really is." He whispered as he kissed the back of her ear.

Sakura felt her face turn red. "I can hardly wait, but next time… I'm wearing fewer clothes."

"Me too."

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Wow, didn't think I'd get a chapter out tonight. Let's hope actually sends you guys alerts. I haven't gotten any mail at all from them today.

So… Kakashi and strip poker. A good vision. A very good vision. A wonderful vision. XD

Please review!


	17. Chapter 17 Sai's Decision

Thanks for the reviews and fav's! They're all great!

Disclaimer: Kishimoto is owned by Naruto.

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Chapter 17 – Sai's Decision

The news was surprising. The Konoha ninja's would be able to leave the hotel in one month. Everyone had mixed feelings about leaving. It had been a lot of fun and they had made friends with people they once considered enemies. However, they were eager to get back to Konoha. And there were a lot of weddings to go to in the near future.

The only one who didn't seem happy about returning was Sai. In fact, he was moping. It didn't seem possible, but it was true. Efforts to find out what was wrong by asking him failed. Sai just frowned and said everything was okay. He would then wander off. Sasuke and Itachi spent the most time with him at the bar but all they could say was that he was slightly less "mopey" when he was working. Neither man was very good at "emotions" so they couldn't figure out what was wrong.

Operation "Emo Sai" was put into effect. It consisted of the group pairing off to follow the morose man.

Sakura was convinced he had a secret girlfriend. Nami and Uran agreed, not because they believed her, but because the thought was romantic. The shrine maidens agreed because the thought of Sai having sex with someone made them laugh so hard it took several minutes for them to brings themselves back under control. The guys said there was no way it could happen as Sai had not yet reached puberty and didn't know what girls were.

Of course, following one of the best ANBU to ever come out of Konoha was much easier said than done. Good thing they had Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, and all the others lining up to do the task.

Or so they thought.

Sai was a very private person. He had developed many methods of hiding himself over the years. First from Danzou, next from Team 7 and the Hokage. After wasting several days Kakashi gathered everyone together and put forth an idea that was as brilliant as it was simple. Tie him up until he talks.

Well, Kakashi thought it was brilliant. Everyone else just moaned and shook their heads.

"Let's just try it, okay?" Kakashi said, sighing.

"If you want to tie someone up, use Sakura, un." Deidara said, sighing as well.

"Yeah, Sakura's turn is coming, but right now let's tie up Sai." Kakashi grinned.

Sakura blinked her eyes a couple times. "What?" She said weakly.

"Oh. Um… I won't tie the knots tight."

"You what?" Sakura's voice was a little louder.

"And you always use a safety word so that if things get too rough your partner will know to stop." Kakashi gave everyone a big smile.

Sakura's face turned beet red. "Are…aren't we sup…supposed to be talking about Sai?", she stuttered.

Kakashi was silent for a couple minutes as everyone looked at him expectantly. "You know, come to think of it, I'd rather tie Sakura up than Sai anyway."

Everyone shook their head and groaned.

"Maybe it's time you retire, old man." Naruto grumbled.

The elevator opened before Kakashi could reply and Sai walked into the living room.

"Hello. Is something going on? Why is Sakura blushing?" Sai's monotone was half-hearted.

"Noth… nothing is going on." Sakura stuttered.

Sai frowned and stared at everyone for a couple minutes before turning around and leaving the room.

"Okay, this has got to stop." Naruto said firmly. "I'm really worried about him now." He stood up and walked out of the room. The sound of Naruto pounding on a door and yelling could be heard for a couple minutes before a door opened and closed.

Naruto dragged Sai by collar back into the living room and threw him on the floor. "Now what the hell has gotten into you!" He yelled, half in anger, half in frustration.

Sai sat cross-legged and looked at the floor. "You'll get mad if I tell you."

"Did you do something wrong?" Naruto asked.

"No. But… you'll still get mad."

"Just spill it, then we'll find out if I'll get mad or not. I can put up with an awful lot, remember." Naruto gave him a big grin.

Sai sighed. "I've decided to retire from being a ninja and become a bartender full time. I'm staying here at the hotel when Itachi and Sasuke leave. Lady Suzu and Lady Hokage have agreed."

Everyone was speechless. Sai started to get uncomfortable. "Go ahead, hit me. I read that letting your anger out is a good way to feel better."

Naruto gave him a bittersweet smile. "Okay. If that is what you have decided. It's not like we won't ever see you again. But… I think that is the last thing I expected you to say."

"I've been taking psychology and bartending classes at the community college for the last four months. That's why you couldn't find me."

"Well that was easier than what Kakashi had planned." Sakura frowned.

"What was he going to do?" Sai asked hesitantly.

"Tie you up." Sasuke answered.

"Oh." Sai gave Kakashi an odd look. "I'm not really sure I'd want Kakashi tying me up. Sakura, sure. But not Kakashi." He gave everyone a big smile.

"See Sakura, you've missed your calling, un. You could have been a dominatrix but instead you had to be a kunoichi, un." Deidara said dejectedly.

"And what exactly is the difference?" Itachi asked, quietly smirking.

Sakura smiled slyly and picked up Kisame's stick, and held it over her head. "Absolutely nothing." She laughed evily. "Who wants their head cracked open first?"

"Naruto!" Everyone yelled.

"Sai!" Naruto yelled.

"The majority wins!" Sakura advanced on her friend, who escaped by hiding behind Kakashi and because Kisame grabbed his stick back. He didn't want his prized possession getting broken.

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Deidara announced to Lady Suzu that the fountain sculpture was ready and could be placed whenever she was ready. Sakura was not happy about the news. After all, the sculpture was of her, half dressed. She secretly hoped it would blow up five seconds after it was unveiled, but she knew it wouldn't really happen.

The dedication ceremony for the new fountain and sculpture was set for the day before Team 7 and company were to leave. That also caused Sakura some concern. It just sounded unlucky for some reason. To make matters worse, Sakura was told she would be conducting the dedication.

The fountain was now completely repaired and the large pond-sized trough was being filled with water. Sakura and Kakashi were watching the water slowly fill it. The engineer standing near them had said it would take a few days to completely fill up as they had to run several checks during the process. The fountain heads and lights were also being tested and there were several people in rubber over-alls standing next to them making last minute adjustments.

"It's hard to believe it's all coming to an end, Kakashi." Sakura smiled.

"It's hard to believe it took a riot and mass destruction to bring you and me together. You know we really must be idiots not have noticed before." Kakashi wrapped his arms around Sakura and she rested her head on his chest.

"Tsunade knew something was up long before we did. I guess… I'm glad it happened. This really has been some of the best months of my life. It's going to be hard to go back and leave them. Although Itachi and Nami and Uran are coming with us, Sai and the others are staying." Sakura relaxed and wrapped her arms around Kakashi's middle.

"Yeah. We'll have to come down and visit. I know! We'll come back once a year for our anniversary." Kakashi said happily. He was looking forward to being a guest at the hotel instead of working. "And we can bring the kids!"

"Kids? Yeah! The new playground opened last week, complete with a day camp and babysitting. It took a bit to convince Lady Suzu to do it, but she finally agreed. You know, being the Daimyou's wife she never had any problem getting people to babysit for her so she just figured no one else had a problem either."

"How did you finally convince her?"

"I invited her to a luncheon with six mothers and fourteen children and babies. She agreed in the first fifteen minutes." Sakura laughed at the memory. The middle-aged woman had been frayed at the edges trying to entertain the children and keep up a conversation. "She's considering purchasing the property next to the hotel, tearing down the hotel already on it and building a small amusement park. She thinks she can attract families and make more money."

Kakashi laughed. "Her heart may be lined with gold, but she is a kind woman."

"I look forward to coming back here, Kakashi." She reached up and placed her hand on the back of Kakashi's head and kissed him. He pulled her closer, returning the kiss. They stood there for a few minutes, making out, and when they came up for air they noticed that it was noisy.

The various workers and engineers that were supposed to be attending to the fountain where whooping and cheering the couple on. Some were even giving suggestions on the best way to kiss. Kakashi and Sakura laughed at them and went back to the apartment. After all, Lady Suzu would probably be upset if they held up the fountain by distracting the workers.

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Sai was learning bar management from Itachi and finding that there was a lot more to it than just accounting, scheduling and pouring drinks. However, he was excited about his career change and listened carefully. Itachi was very matter-of-fact and left nothing out. Anyone watching the two men interact would think the exchange was stressful and intense, but in reality both men were quite comfortable and relaxed.

Sasuke found himself having to work harder to fill in for them, but he didn't actually notice it. He was getting nervous about his impending marriage and his arms would shift to autopilot as he mixed drinks while his brain fretted about everything that could go wrong during and after the wedding. Including the roof of the temple falling in.

Shaking his head Sasuke looked down at the drink he was mixing and gasped. "Why didn't you tell me I was pouring a whole bottle of vodka into a shot glass?" He yelled at the waitress.

"Because you amuse me." She said simply.

"Huh?" Sasuke's anger dissipated quickly. That wasn't the answer he expected.

"Look. Getting married isn't the end of the world."

"How…how did you know that's what I was thinking of?" Sasuke's eyes opened wide in shock.

"It's written all over you face. Look. I've been married for three years and bad things will happen occasionally. We even got into such a bad argument that we broke up for a week. But you know what? Life is too short to stay mad at someone you love. Especially when all you're arguing over is what color the carpet should be." She looked intently at Sasuke and shook her head.

"I just… keep thinking of stuff that can go wrong. What if the ceremony gets messed up or Uran decides she can't handle my personality or we have kids and they are troublemakers or…"

"Look. Stop right there. Now. Tell me three good things that will happen. Not bad thing, good things." She was serious and her tone of voice made Sasuke feel like he had to answer.

"Well… I get to see Uran every day. We'll have children. And I'll get to come home to…" Sasuke stopped talking as a lump formed in his throat. "For the first time since… since I was eight… I'll get to come home to a family." He quickly turned his head and wiped his arm across his face. His eyes were watering... just a little… "You're right. Life is too short to worry about what will go wrong."

"Told you so!" The waitress winked at him.

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Jiraiya and Kabuto were sitting… actually… Jiraiya was floating above a chair and Kabuto was sitting. Anyway, they were booth looking morose and an open bottle of Sake was sitting between them. Every few minutes Kabuto would fill two sake cups then drink one and pour the second cup over the ghost Sannin. The chair Jiraiya was hovering over was sopping wet. Neither noticed.

"They're gone." Kabuto moaned.

"Completely gone." Jiraiya echoed.

"We had so much fun. The sex was incredible!" Kabuto moaned again.

"It was the stuff best sellers were made of." Jiraiya whined.

"Why did they have to leave!"

"Why oh why oh why!"

"Would you two shut up! There are people trying to sleep!" Naruto, Kakashi and Sakura walked into the kitchen rubbing their eyes in the bright fluorescent lights. It was 3:24am and the two men were moaning so loudly that it was starting to sound like one of Deidara's soap opera videos had been left on.

"They left me Naruto!" Kabuto stood up and shakily walked over to the blond man, wrapping his arms around his neck for balance when he almost fell against him.

"Who? And why do I care?" Naruto was not in a good mood when he was tired. Kakashi helped remove Kabuto from Naruto's neck and sat him back in his chair.

"The shine…shone…shrine maidens." Kabuto drunkenly stumbled over his words.

"They left us, Naruto! And we almost had the book finished!" Jiraiya added his two cents, then frowned. "They said they were kunoichi from Mist who were sent to spy on Sakura. Their village was suspicious of Lady Suzu and wanted to know what she was up to. But that was no reason to leave!"

Kakashi and Sakura looked at the two men with expressions that mixed shock, indifference, exhaustion, and a little bit of pity.

"Did you ever find out their names?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah." Kabuto said off-handedly. "Please, all the gods in the universe return my maidens to me!"

"What are they?" Sakura pressed.

"uhhhh…" Kabuto fell off his chair, unconscious.

"I'm never going to find out their names, am I?" Sakura went to the couch to grab a blanket as Kakashi and Naruto lifted him off the floor and into the living room.

"Why don't you just put him in his bed?"

"Don't feel like it." Kakashi said, frowning.

"Naruto! Pour me a drink!" Jiraiya ordered his former student.

"What? You're a ghost! Hey, the seat is wet." Naruto suddenly caught on. "That is really pathetic, you know?"

"I feel pathetic. Now pour me a drink or I'll go get a set of chains and jingle them all night while I moan."

"Fine. Fine." Naruto picked up the bottle and poured the remaining amount over Jiraiya's ethereal head. "Happy now?"

"No. I'm not drunk."

"I'm sorry old man. There is nothing I can do about it. Now I'm going to bed so be a good little ghost and be quiet for a few more hours. Please?"

Jiraiya gave a short laugh. "Sure." He watched as Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi walked back down the hall to their rooms. Smirking he realized that he could easily finish his book. All the weddings… or to put it more accurately… all the wedding nights would make a great last chapter.

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Well, not many chapters left. Next week the group leaves for Konoha.

Please review!


	18. Chapter 18 Dedication

Disclaimer – Kishimoto is owned by Naruto

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Chapter 18 – Dedication

It was finally Team 7's last day at the hotel. Unfortunately it was also very busy. Sakura would have loved to have just had the day off so she could relax, but Lady Suzu had other things in mind.

The dedication for the repaired fountain was that evening, at sunset, and Sakura was to be the Master of Ceremonies. That meant she had to be fitted for a new (tight fitting and very sexy) dress and she had to practice speaking into a microphone (which turned out to be a little harder than she thought). There was also a certain schedule to follow during the ceremony and she and Deidara (who was revealing his sculpture) had to practice the choreography about a hundred times.

During one of their many breaks Sakura and Deidara sat back to back, exhausted.

"If we fall asleep during the unveiling do you think Lady Suzu will get mad?" Sakura asked, suppressing a yawn.

"Who cares? We'll be asleep. Unconscious. We won't know if she's mad or not." Deidara was so tired he was forgetting his "un's".

"Why are they going to such elaborate lengths for the ceremony? Is anyone going to even be sober enough to pay attention? I mean, there was so much alcohol flowing the night it was destroyed that I have to wonder if maybe they should cut back on it tonight." Sakura was concerned. One of the reasons she was so exhausted was that she had a nightmare the previous night that the fountain was destroyed again and Tsunade and Lady Suzu shut her in a dungeon for the rest of her life as punishment. Of course, the nightmare that had seemed so real at 3:10 in the morning seemed silly now, but still… Sakura was worried.

Sakura heard Deidara sigh heavily. "Why are you so tired?"

Deidara sighed again, as if trying to get air in his lungs, or out. "I've never done a piece of art that was meant to last. I've never done art to please anyone but myself. I'm not happy about it. What if people like it? What if I have to do more art like that? Art is a one time event. It's something that the artist feels, that the observer feels. It's not definable or mass-producible. There is only one Mona Lisa – I mean, that is why people go to see the original even after they buy the copy. That art only exists for as long as the painting exists. Then it's gone. It can never be duplicated. People like Lady Suzu don't understand that."

Sakura listened closely to what Deidara was saying. He was a very passionate man, that much was clear. But he was also willing do anything to defend his beliefs. "So are you saying the Mona Lisa exists now as art, or won't be art until it no longer exists?"

"Duh. It exists now as art because it can never exist a second time. It cannot last forever and when it disappears from the world, either through destruction or decay it will still be art."

"What about your explosions?" It sounded to Sakura like Deidara had modified his definition of art.

"That is the ultimate art, un. The second the blast exists, it creates an image that can never be duplicated, that art is the ultimate example, the true semblance of impermanence, un. It is like the life of the Mona Lisa fast forwarded, un." Deidara was smiling again and he sat up, waving his arms as he spoke.

Smiling, Sakura turned around to look at him. "I think I agree with you then." She couldn't help but feel that somewhere along the line Deidara had matured quite a bit from the boy she had met all those years ago when Gaara had been captured by the Akatsuki. But then again, they all had.

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A couple hours before the ceremony Kakashi met up with Sakura and they went up to the apartment for a light dinner. There would be a formal dinner after the ceremony, but Kakashi wanted to make sure his girlfriend didn't stand in front of a couple thousand people with an empty stomach. If her nerves kicked in she could get dizzy or sick or something. Okay, really he was just worried about her. She had been on edge all day and the rehearsal had exhausted her. He wished there had been time for her to take a nap.

"Thanks for the salad, Kakashi. I think it's perfect." Sakura smiled as she ate her lettuce.

"Kabuto suggested it. Lettuce, carrots, shredded cheese and shredded chicken very lightly salted with no dressing. He said it works great to settle the stomach and give you some protein. And you'll still be hungry enough to eat a real dinner later." Kakashi smile, creasing his eye shut as he did so.

"You sure look good in that suit, Kakashi. Were you working today?" Sakura was really going to miss that suit.

"Yeah, there was a luncheon at noon. I haven't changed out of it yet. In fact, I'm going to wear it to the ceremony and dinner tonight. And… Lady Suzu said I could keep all the clothes."

"Yeah!" Sakura actually clapped her hands together and squealed. Something she hadn't done in a couple years. Kakashi started laughing.

"I'm going to look funny going on S-ranked missions in a suit."

Sakura had a sudden vision of a well dressed Kakashi, face mask in place, jumping down in front of a group of villains.

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_The three enemy shinobi stared wide-eyed at the tall, elegant, silver haired man standing in front of them._

"_It's Kakashi! I'd know him anywhere from that suit!" _

"_It's said he can kill a hundred ninja without so much as putting a crease in his jacket!"_

"_It's also said that his suits repel all enemy attacks with their brilliance!"_

_The suit seemed to glitter once of its own volition. Kakashi raised his hand and formed a Chidori, which sparkled and crackled in his hand._

"_Foul fiends! Enemies of Konoha and righteous ninja everywhere, prepare to meet your doom!" Kakashi said in a calm, heroic voice._

"_Alas! We repent our wrong-doing! Please spare us so we may become monks and live a life of poverty to pay for our sins!" The three villains fell to the ground prostrating themselves._

_Kakashi put out Chidori and put his foot on a chair and his hand in a pocket. Posing he looked down on the three men. "You shall be spared. There is a monastery down the road. I will check in on you in three days. If you are not there I shall kill you."_

_The three men ran out of the room, discarding their weapons and wallets._

_A sound was heard and three women, dressed in black, blue and white evening gowns entered the room._

"_Ladies, where would you like me to escort you to, today?" Kakashi walked toward them and they took his arms, cooing at him._

"_To the bedroom, Kakashi. Just like everyday." They moaned, passionately._

"_Of course."_

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"Sakura!" Kakashi shook the pink haired woman lightly and smiled as she opened her eyes.

"What? Did I fall asleep?" Sakura sat up, realizing she was on the couch.

"You finished your salad and then practically passed out. I carried you to the couch. You were able to get forty-five minutes of sleep, but you have one hour to get ready for the ceremony." He helped her stand up. She wobbled a little, still half asleep.

"Kakashi? Could you do me a couple favors?" Sakura asked as she rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"Anything."

"Get me a diet cola with caffeine, and _never_ wear that suit on a mission." Sakura sat back down on the couch as Kakashi walked to the kitchen, a curious look on his face. Sakura decided that had to have been the _weirdest_ dream she had ever had. And that was saying a lot.

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Sakura stood on a dais ten feet above the ground with Deidara next to her. She was dressed in a tight fitting, short green dress and her hair was pinned up with a crystal laden tiara framing the top of her head. Deidara was dressed in white slacks with a pale blue muscle shirt. His hair was down and blowing lightly in the evening wind.

Deidara was hamming it up, waving at the ladies who were blowing him kisses and even blowing kisses back at them. Sakura laughed. For a man who didn't want to be there he was sure having a lot of fun.

Looking through the crowd she found her friends, they were standing next to the fountain wall. All of them had drinks in their hands.

"It's time, Sakura, go ahead and begin!" The director bent down and whispered in her ear, then walked off the stage. Sakura said a silent prayer, then whished she'd made time to visit the temple earlier. She was really beginning to feel it would take divine intervention to keep the evening disaster free.

Sakura walked up to the microphone and the sound crew gave her a "thumbs up", indicating it was on. Just as she had practiced she removed it from the stand and held it in position.

"Welcome everyone! Tonight we will be unveiling a masterpiece! A piece of art dedicated to frivolity! You thought the real thing was fun, well wait until you see what our own Deidara has prepared to commemorate the event! Deidara? Do you want to say something?" Sakura was having to speak loud over the cat-calls and whistles men were sending up to her.

"Whoooohoooo!" Deidara cat-called loudly into the microphone and several hundred women screamed back at him. For extra effect he pulled off his shirt and threw it into the audience. "Look at all the beautiful ladies out there! Did you come to see me?" They all yelled "yes" and started screaming. Sakura started laughing so hard she had to grab the handrail to stay upright.

"My statue is the most amazing piece of artwork ever in the entire world to be created! It exists and pulls chakra from nature to create the newest form of art! Never before done! I did it first!" Deidara handed the microphone back to Sakura and raised his arms above his head and jumped up about six feet in the air. The women in the crowd went crazy.

Sakura brought herself back under control, but lost it again when someone in the crowd yelled, very loudly, "Take off your shirt too!"

Sakura blinked. That sounded like… 'Oh my god!' Sakura said to herself. Kakashi was standing on the side of the fountain…actually "staggering" would be a better word. He was using chakra to enhance his voice and yelling up to her. Deidara started laughing.

"Go ahead." He whispered to her. "You are wearing your swimsuit under that aren't you?"

Sakura snickered evilly. "Without further ado – Here it is!" She pushed a button and a small, heretofore unnoticed piece of sculpture that had been placed in the center of the fountain started to grown. Everyone gasped as it took on the shape of Sakura in a short spaghetti-string dress.

The statue was amazing in its detail and everyone gazed at it in amazement. When it reached twenty feet it stopped growing. Deidara then put his scope on and took a closer look at it, as if he were checking for imperfections. After a couple minutes of this he removed his scope, putting it back in his pocket and performed a series of hand signs.

A blue glow, starting from the ground, moved upward over the statue. Once it completely covered the image it appeared to shrink into the stone. Then slowly the dress started to move. The crowd gasped again.

"And now the water!" Sakura yelled into the microphone as Deidara pushed another button.

Jets of water shot up from around the statue, bathing it in water. Over a period of five minutes the statue was soaked and the dress took on the semblance of a wet garment. Clingy and see-through, the curves of it's breasts and hips could be seen. The water shut off and over the next five minutes the dress "dried out". It went on like that over and over.

The statue's face changed expression from laughing to smiling and the eye's winked.

Deidara grabbed the microphone from Sakura. "Sakura needs some friends out there, doesn't she?"

Calls of "She has friends!" and "I'm here for you Sakura!" came from several men in the audience. Deidara laughed at them and Sakura waved, smiling. Deidara performed another series of hand signs and about forty six-foot statues of men and women in swimming suits grew. These were stationary but it gave the impression of many people frolicking in a pool.

Sakura was amazed. It was, really, a beautiful work of art. She decided it was time to give everyone the best news about the new fountain.

"Everyone! This fountain is not just something to look at!" She paused, just as she had been told to do to build suspence. "It is also for you to enjoy! Everyone! This is a public pool! You may swim to your hearts content!" Sakura lifted her dress over her head to reveal her swimming suit and held her arms up.

Deidara pulled his pants down and stepped out of them, of course he threw them into the audience. He then grabbed Sakura's dress and threw that into the crowd as well.

"Let's go for a swim!" Deidara yelled.

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Back down on the ground Sakura made her way over to Kakashi, who leaned over, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Wow!" You sure are tall!" His breath smelled like whiskey, but Sakura didn't mind. He so rarely 'let loose' that seeing him happy like that made all her misgivings melt away. She realized he wasn't actually all that drunk, he was just being silly.

"We better go get ready for dinner." Sakura laughed and pulled him after her. The others followed, pushing their way through the crowd. Sounds of happy people splashing in the water filled the evening air, and this time they were being a little less rowdy. So far.

"I'm coming back out after dinner." Kakashi said, smiling. "I think we all deserve a midnight swim."

They made their way back to the apartment where they changed then walked down to the restaurant. Lady Suzu and her husband were already waiting, having watched the ceremony from a nearby balcony instead of on the ground.

"That was a great dedication, you two." Suzu complimented them. "So lively! I'm going to miss you, Sakura. But at least I've still got Deidara to entertain me." She laughed happily.

"Oh, I'm going to miss you too. But we'll be back for vacations." Sakura smiled back. "By the way, where is your little dog? I haven't seen her in a while."

Suzu practically beamed. "Pregnant! We're going to have puppies! Isn't that exciting? I don't want her stressed so I hired a veterinarian to stay at the mansion and watch over her."

"How cute!" Sakura said, forcing a grin. The little dog was cute, but very spoiled and barked a lot.

"But don't worry, Sakura, I've got one little puppy ear-marked just for you! After all, Tsunade told me that you and Kakashi are going to have babies soon and everyone knows how much children love dogs and cats!" She clasped her hands together in pleasure, pleased with her gift.

"How about that, Kakashi, we're going to have a puppy. Isn't that wonderful?" Sakura spoke through clenched teeth, her mouth still in a forced grin.

"No problem!" Kakashi chuckled. He wondered what his dog summons would think of the new arrival. Would it be an active, normal, hyper puppy or lazy and demanding like its mother? Either way, it would be very cute and Sakura was sure to fall head over heals in love with it, despite her misgivings.

'I wonder how Pakkun would feel about puppy-sitting.' Kakashi thought to himself.

"I'm giving another puppy to Gaara. After I caught him holding Precious and talking softly to her I knew he needed a little friend. There's something a dog or cat does for the soul that a person can't give you." Suzu's eyes were gleaming and everyone was watching her, half amazed at the revelation about Gaara.

Naruto privately wondered if Gaara had been threatening the dog because he had been barking or something. The idea that the stoic man would whisper sweet-nothings to anything was almost incomprehensible.

"What about the other puppies?" Sai asked.

Suzu was thoughtful, "Hmm. I haven't decided. I think Konan could use a dog, but I don't think she would pay enough attention to it. She does enjoy visiting with Precious, though. I might ask her when the puppies arrive to see what she thinks. The others… I don't know. Maybe I'll just wait and see what happens!"

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Midnight found Team 7 and the ex-Akatsuki and Kabuto at the fountain in swimming suits splashing around in the water. The crowd had actually thinned out some. Kakashi figured that legally playing in a fountain wasn't as much fun as rioting. Which was probably why Lady Suzu made it a public swimming hole. Good thinking, actually.

Sakura and Kakashi were floating in the water on some abandoned floats. Holding hands they drifted together from one end of the vast fountain to the other. It was very relaxing and Sakura found herself falling asleep until Naruto, Deidara and Kisame started laughing loudly about something. She jerked awake and looked over at her boyfriend, who was smirking at her.

"Ready to go to bed?" He sat up on the float, putting both legs in the water.

"I think I'd better." Sakura smiled. "What are the guys up to?"

"Jiraiya was teasing Kabuto and Kabuto waved some sort of religious artifact at him. Jiraiya actually jumped back about ten feet before he realized it was harmless." Kakashi was laughing.

Sakura shook her head. "He never learned to keep his mouth shut, did he? Naruto is going to be just like him when he's in his fifties, isn't he?"

"'fraid so."

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The next day Sakura, Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Uran, Itachi and Nami set out for Konoha. There were many hugs and some tears as they said good-bye, especially since Sai wasn't going with them this time. However, there were also promises to write and return for visits. It was almost noon when the group finally made its way outside the small city.

The group was full of mixed emotions. All of them were getting married soon. Itachi was returning to the village that once saw him as a villain but now revered him as a hero. Sasuke was returning as the head of a clan and a lot of responsibility. Naruto… was a cheerful as ever. Kakashi was reading his book, ignoring the others (and watching Sakura who was walking in front of him). Uran and Nami were moving to a new village and were worried about everything that entailed, but also excited about the new start. Sakura was glad the whole bingo book thing had simmered down and was looking forward to living her normal, every-day life again.

So they set off, quietly walking through the city, past the front gates and into the desert. In a few days they would be home.

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Next week the group arrives in Konoha and the new residents try to find their place while the old ones try to fall back into their old "niches". But is that really possible?

Next week is also the last chapter, although there will be an epilogue.


	19. Chapter 19 Our Home

Thanks for all the reviews and favs!

Here it is, the last chapter. The epilogue will be next week.

Disclaimer: Kakashi is owned by Sakura.

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Chapter 19 – Our Home

Konoha hadn't changed. The markets were still crowded in the morning, ninja's still traveled by jumping roof to roof, messenger birds traveled the sky and young shinobi-in-training still raced each other through the streets yelling out challenges and laughing.

After entering the front gates everyone split up and went their separate ways. Kakashi left to visit the memorial stone to speak with Obito so Sakura was on her own for a while. She returned to her apartment and saw that it was clean. Either her parents or friends had dusted and even filled the refrigerator with a few necessities. Smiling she pulled out an apple and plopped down on her sofa.

Oddly enough, she missed her new friends who had stayed behind in Wind country. It wasn't like she would never see them again, but it was strange after sharing an apartment with so many people to suddenly be all alone.

Sakura sensed someone approaching her door and got up to open it. Ino and Hinata stood there, smiling.

"We are so glad you are back, Sakura." Hinata said calmly.

"Yeah! And we are going to take you out to dinner! Actually, everyone is coming. We reserved a room at the restaurant so we would all fit. We'll sit out here and wait while you shower and change your clothes." Ino, as always, took charge. Without so much as waiting for Sakura to say "hello" she shoved the woman into the bathroom and closed the door.

Sakura chuckled then yelled through the door. "It's great to see you again! I'd love to go to dinner, thanks for asking. How have you two been?"

"Less talking, more scrubbing!" Hinata yelled back, laughing.

"We'll pick out your clothes!" Ino yelled back.

"Where is TenTen?" Sakura wondered.

"She'll be there!" Ino's voice came from the bedroom.

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Dinner consisted of so many people that the restaurant actually closed and served just them. The rookie nine, their assorted "significant others", Team Gai, various friends and other co-workers, family, and the ghost of Jiraiya filled the dining room. There were over seventy people assembled, all eating, drinking, talking and re-connecting.

Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi had been asked to stand up and relate a story about their six months away from the village. Uran had been asked to stand up and tell everyone how she fell in love with Sasuke (which embarrassed the Uchiha). Nami had volunteered to tell everyone about the heist that got her arrested and put into incarceration at the hotel (she only bragged a little – okay a lot).

Itachi had even been asked to tell everyone an embarrassing story about his and Sasuke's childhood. He smirked and eagerly stood up. The room went quiet as this was the first time many of them had ever seen the notorious Uchiha.

"This happened when Sasuke was two and I was seven. He was going through the 'I don't want to wear clothes' phase and kept stripping at rather inopportune times. Of course I thought it was funny which pissed our mother off even more. One day Sasuke went streaking out of the house, naked as anything. He made it all the way to the front gate of the Uchiha compound. I was coming home from school and saw him. I walked over and picked him up then I heard a voice.

"'What's that you got there Itachi?'

"It was the Hokage talking. I held Sasuke up by the armpits at arms length and answered 'It's a boy!', then Sasuke started peeing. I moved him quickly so he missed the Hokage but the Hokage was laughing so hard by then that he had to sit down.

"Mother ran up a second later and was so embarrassed she grounded both of us and lectured the Hokage for encouraging bad behavior."

By the time Itachi had finished talking everyone was laughing. Sasuke, who was embarrassed, laughed too.

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Several months later Sakura was sitting in Hinata's living room with about twenty other women. It was her bridal shower and everyone was laughing and having a good time. The wedding was in a few days and all her friends had "surprised" her with the party. Well, how do you surprise a bride with something she knows is going to happen? You can't so Sakura did the usual "I didn't suspect a thing" and everyone else pretended to believe her.

The living room in the main house of the Hyuuga compound was very large and the food was excellent. Sakura found herself going back for thirds. Tsunade accused her of being pregnant and having cravings and insisted on applying chakra to her stomach. Of course there was no baby there. She was just hungry for some good food.

The presents handed to Sakura were typical. Bubble-bath, lotion, spa products, as well as some romance novels (not written by Jiraiya) and a couple items with the word "toy" written on the plain white package that Sakura didn't recognize.

"Don't worry, I think Kakashi will know what to do with them." Ino laughed, refusing to explain further.

"Oh, this one is from Tsunade." Sakura said hesitantly. She had a feeling she knew what was inside. Her mother clapped her hands together in anticipation as she watched her daughter open the box.

Sakura blinked in surprise. "It's so… wow. I can't believe you got me this. I expected a box full of baby clothes or something." She pulled out a very revealing white nightgown. Low cut in the front and back it was short and slightly see-through.

"I had it specially made from a description in book three page 149. I thought Kakashi might also like it." Tsunade smiled wickedly and handed her another box. Sakura's mother was laughing as she handed her a card that had fallen out of the nightgown.

Sakura read it and shook her head. "Warning. Wearing the attached garment produces delayed side effects, resulting in the birth of children nine months after application." It was signed "Jiraiya" in Naruto's handwriting.

"Was that in the book too?" Ino asked, smirking.

"I have no idea." Tsunade said shaking her head.

"So this is the baby clothes?" Sakura asked as she opened the second box. "Yep. Here it is." She pulled out several one-pieces and some little booties. "They are very cute, though." There were slugs, dogs, cats and frogs embroidered on them. She smiled as she imagined a giggling baby filling out the floppy fabric.

"I guess… this is really happening…" Sakura got a little teary-eyed.

"Damn well better happen, after all the money we put out." Her mother said in mock anger. Sakura laughed.

"It's going to be so nice to be with Kakashi all the time now. It's been eight months since we got back." Sakura sighed heavily and leaned back against the couch.

"Yeah, well. That's probably our fault." Uran said, referring to herself and Hinata.

Hinata smiled. "The month long honeymoons we took meant Kakashi had to watch Naruto's and Sasuke's new Genin teams while they were gone. Then they got sent on that mission when they returned meaning Kakashi got stuck babysitting again."

Sakura explained further, "Well, he has also been adjusting to his new position as ANBU trainer. That also took a lot of his time. He rewrote the entire curriculum. How is Itachi doing in his new job?"

Nami smiled. "He loves it. Monitoring the scheme Pein and Konan came up with is right up his alley. If they are up to something underhanded, he'll be sure to find out what it is. It's a big job. All those countries they bought are spread out all over the continent. I don't know how he keeps track of everything."

"He's a natural born genius. At everything." Tsunade shook her head in wonder. "When I heard he wanted to return I really hoped he would want the position. It's very important we find out what is really going on."

"So what about you Sakura?" Ino asked. "How is the hospital?"

"It's going great! I was so surprised when Tsunade made me a sensei to three Genin who wanted to be medical ninja. The kids are doing excellent, although they complain about the amount of reading I give them. I'm going to cut back on that, but they are all very talented and driven."

…………………Meanwhile in another part of town……………………….

"Where are the sippers….stipppers….srirp….where are the girls with no clothes!" Naruto's head was bobbing up and down slightly as he tried to speak.

Kakashi's bachelor party was also well attended. And well supplied with alcohol. However there were no strippers.

"Uran nixed the idea." Sasuke frowned.

"You're whipped!" Naruto told him.

"You're drunk." Sasuke answered.

"Hn."

"That's my phrase. I believe that constitutes copyright infringement." Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

Naruto blinked at his friend, confused. Kakashi smiled and patted the blond on the head. "It's okay, you can say it if you want."

"Say what? What were we talking about?" Naruto gave everyone a big smile.

"How come you're not drunk yet, Kakashi?" Itachi asked quietly.

"I am not getting drunk around those two." Kakashi answered, pointing at Sasuke and Naruto. He had a feeling they were up to something. "Too bad Sai couldn't come up for the week. Although he's not too good at gatherings. I have no idea why he's so successful as a bartender."

"His knowledge of psychology is impressive. Many people were seeking him out for advice and he was always right on. Makes me wonder if he acts stupid on purpose to put us off." Itachi answered.

Shikamaru wondered over and sat down, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "So troublesome. They had a nice practical joke planned for you, but Naruto's plastered and Sasuke just downed his fourth beer and he's already had two shots of whiskey. I think you're safe for now, Kakashi."

"BOO!" Jiraiya jumped out of the floor and yelled, but no one reacted. "Oh. So now you are all jaded and don't react to me anymore. Should I just leave you alone?" He acted "put-out" by his audiences passive response.

"Nah. You're too much fun." Shikamaru said sarcastically.

Jiraiya looked around. "Where are the strippers?"

"Uran said 'no'." Sasuke answered. Or rather, slurred.

"Sasuke, you're whipped." Jiraiya answered. Sasuke responded by glaring at the ghost. "Keep looking at me like that and I'll have Itachi tell more embarrassing stories about your childhood."

Itachi smirked and Sasuke reached for another beer.

"I'm glad this is the last wedding for a while." Sasuke said sadly. "Too much happening this year. Time to relax. Enjoy ourselves. See Sakura and Kakashi happy instead of sad and mourning. Together forever, never apart, hearts joined together, something something something."

"And here I thought you were being poetic." Kakashi laughed.

"At least it won't be raining." Itachi said seriously. His wedding to Nami had been two months earlier during a small wind storm. However, Itachi had been spooked for some reason by the rain and wind. Immediately after the ceremony he had insisted that Nami, Sasuke and Uran gather with him at the Uchiha memorial. Holding umbrellas over the elder Uchiha to keep him dry, he lit incense, made an offering and prayed to his parents. The event was very sobering.

"I just hope Sakura likes her present." Kakashi smiled, changing the subject.

"There's no way she wouldn't like it. Took five months to get though." Shikamaru smiled. "Sasuke, you'd better go rescue your grandfather-in-law. He's challenging Gai again."

Sasuke looked up from his beer to see the old man and Gai each standing on one leg and counting. Shaking his head and mumbling under his breath about crazy old men and arthritis he walked over to find out what was going on.

Kakashi smiled. "Really, this has been one of the best parties I've been too. Laid back, not rowdy, lots of beer to keep the twenty-somethings occupied and out of my hair. Perfect."

"You sound like an old man, Kakashi." Shikamaru pointed out.

"Then I guess I've been old my entire life." He laughed and Shikamaru chuckled. He had to agree with him, after all he was the same way.

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Kakashi and Sakura were finally ready to be married. It had taken a long time and, in fact, it had been a little over a year since the "disastrous" event with the hotel fountain. A lot of things had happened since they arrived back in Konoha and it had eaten into their time together, but in the end the path had still led them to where they were now.

One happy event was Sakura's new little, cute, precious puppy that had been delivered in a covered carriage two months after they returned to Konoha. Just as Kakashi suspected the pink-haired woman fell instantly in love with the small creature. And, frankly, so did Kakashi, but that was expected of the dog summoner. He spent a lot of time with Sakura showing her how to train the small puppy and soon the little animal was a (mostly) well-behaved member of the family.

Naruto came back from his honeymoon at a resort in the south of Wind Country with reports that Gaara was similarly infatuated with his new puppy. A dark brown male that had its own cushion on the top of his desk. Gaara even took time out from his work a couple times a day to walk the small dog and had met a woman in the park he was now dating. She owned the same type of dog, it turned out.

Sakura's parents were making a big deal of the wedding. After all she was their only child. Tsunade, who was now best friends with Sakura's mother helped, causing Sakura some concern. However, when she saw just how much had to be done she was glad someone else was handling it. As it turned out all she and Kakashi had to do was make a few minor decisions then show up at the appropriate time on the appropriate day.

Kakashi wasn't really too happy about having a wedding, he really just wanted to elope, but he knew his new mother-in-law would never approve and he really wanted to have a good relationship with his in-laws. They were already a little put-off by his age. They liked him, sure, but he knew that he would be proving himself to them for the next couple of years. He was fine with that though. When he thought about it, he could see himself doing the same thing for his own daughters.

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Sakura had a feeling that day, when they knelt in front of the priest, that Kakashi's mind was somewhere else. He seemed distracted and Naruto and Sasuke had been having a lot of secret conversations with him.

She listened to the prayer being offered and held her hands tightly in her lap so they wouldn't shake. This evening they would be man and wife and she still wasn't sure she was ready for such a big commitment. Well, sometimes she felt she was and sometimes she felt she wasn't. Her mother had told her it was normal and that she still felt that way after twenty-five years of marriage.

Finally the ceremony was over and Sakura and Kakashi walked out of the temple to the cheers of their friends and family. It was finally over. The sense of relief that overcame them both as they stepped outside was enough to make them both sit down on the stairs and sigh heavily.

Finally the guests started to come out of the temple and they had to stand up. The monks that were in the garden helped herd the people to the building the reception was being held in while the newly wedded couple sat and relaxed for a few minutes in the temple's meditation garden.

"Everyone is waiting for you." The elderly monk who spoke smiled softly at them and then let them into the reception through a side door.

They started off with a nice dinner and cake, lots of gossiping, and generally relaxing. Everyone was glad it was the last wedding they would have to go to for a while.

The gifts were, to put it mildly, interesting. There was the usual array of household items like china, silverware, glassware, and such. However, Tsunade presented Sakura with another box of baby clothes and the glint in her eye make Sakura very suspicious. Of what, she didn't know, but the woman was up to something. Jiraiya even made an entrance and, with the help of Naruto, handed Kakashi the first copy of his new book. Needless to say Kakashi was very happy.

"We'll read it together." Kakashi whispered into Sakura's ear and she couldn't help the blush that spread over her cheeks.

When the reception was over everyone grabbed their jackets and walked out of the building together. "Are… is everyone following us, Kakashi?" Sakura asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Where are we going?" She noticed they weren't heading towards his apartment, which is where they had agreed to live.

"You'll see." Looping his arm around her shoulder he pulled her in close.

They walked for several minutes until they were in a residential section of the village away from the shops and apartments that most of the residents preferred to live in. Finally they stopped in front of a new house. There was a big pink bow on the door.

Sakura looked at the building. It was traditional Japanese in its construction. One story, low profile with a ten foot tall stone wall surrounding it. The front yard wasn't landscaped yet. A wide deck stretched across the front of the house and no doubt surround it as well. She looked at Kakashi, disbelief in her eyes. Everyone behind them was silent, grinning in expectation.

"You…" She couldn't say anymore.

"Our home, Sakura." Kakashi smiled, his eyes wrinkled and then opened wide as Sakura threw herself into his arms.

Sakura tried to say many different things, but the only thing that would come out was "thank-you". The wedding guests clapped and cheered then wished the couple good-luck and wondered off, leaving the newlyweds alone.

Entering the house they removed their shoes in the small entryway then stepped onto the hallway's shiny new wooden floor. The house had a certain, wonderful smell to it that Sakura could only describe as "new".

Kakashi gave her a tour, showing her the kitchen built for convenience, the living room with its two couches and sliding doors leading to the porch and back yard, the dining room with a large table to seat twelve, and the guest bathroom decorated, no doubt, by Ino if the yellow lace was any indication.

However, when they reached the hallway with the bedrooms Kakashi was a little confused. A light was shining through the cracks of a closed door in one of the smaller bedrooms. "I thought Naruto said all the lights had been turned off." He slid the door open and stopped, mouth open wide in shock.

Sakura pushed past him then stepped back, running into Kakashi. "Tsunade!" She yelled, "I'll get you for this!"

The small room was built to be a nursery when Sakura had kids, then a storeroom of some sort when they were old enough to move into the larger bedrooms. It was placed next to the master bedroom and a door connected the two rooms together. However, what shocked the two of them were the contents of the room. There were two cribs, a changing table, two small dressers, brightly colored animals painted on the walls and two sturdy rocking chairs.

Kakashi suddenly started laughing. "Does she think we're having twins or something?"

"Well, we won't have anything if we keep standing here gaping." Sakura turned around and shyly wrapped her arms around Kakashi, laying her head on his chest. "Time to start making those babies, don't you think?"

He bent down and pulled her into a kiss. "Our bedroom is this way." He led her through the connecting door into a large room. It contained a king size bed, matching dressers, armoire, two small desks, and a comfortable couch in front of a fireplace.

Kakashi walked over to a sliding door and opened it. "There is a private garden here." The garden was about twenty square feet and contained a small patio with lounge chairs, a small fountain and several beautiful plants.

"Wow. Why so much in the master bedroom?" Sakura was a little overwhelmed and it was causing butterflies to multiply in her stomach.

"It's a place to hide from the kids. Or me." Kakashi laughed and led her into the bathroom. It was also large with a Jacuzzi tub.

"Is this marble?" Sakura asked in awe.

"Yeah. And the tub is big enough for two. So is the shower." He pointed to a free-standing shower that was big enough to not need curtains.

Returning to the bedroom Sakura noticed that her white nightgown was laying on the bed. "I take it Tsunade did that." She mumbled to herself, blushing.

"Is that… is that the nightgown from book three page 149?" Kakashi's eyes were wide and his hands were shaking in excitement.

"The one and only." Sakura had to laugh at his reaction, then gasp when he grabbed her arm.

"Quick, put it on. I have to see it. I have to see you." He pulled her into a kiss that was, somehow, different from any other kiss he had given her.

Sakura pulled away with difficulty and moved toward the bed. "Only if you watch." She said in a low voice.

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The house turned out to be full of surprises. Their friends had rigged several practical jokes causing Sakura to suspect that Naruto was teaching his new Genin how to become practical jokers instead of Shinobi. Sasuke, on the other hand, claimed he was teaching his Genin how to set "traps".

"Jokes" or "traps" the results were the same. The first day Sakura and Kakashi were on their toes for flying shuriken, hidden throwing stars, and the most surprising of all was a trick that went unclaimed by all.

Sakura was sitting in the kitchen drinking some tea and enjoying the nice, new and clean room (realizing of course that would probably be the only time she ever saw it in that condition again) when the puppy trotted in and barked at the ceiling. She kept barking at the ceiling as Sakura stared intently looking for something unusual. Kakashi wandered in and used his sharingan to also look for abnormalities. Nothing was there. The puppy got bored and wandered away.

However they soon heard noise in the next room, which was the dining room. Walking over they saw the little dog barking at the ceiling again. This was repeated in every room of the house, then she started all over again in the kitchen. For an hour the puppy circulated through the rooms barking at the ceiling, always in the same order. Kakashi even went up on the roof to see if anything was up there, but as it was winter there were few birds out and no trees were near the new house yet.

The puppy's little game went on for five days, and it always lasted for an hour. "Someone must have trained her to do it." Kakashi sighed.

"But who? The best dog trainers are you and Kiba's clan but Kiba is denying any involvement." Sakura picked up her beloved puppy and gave her a big hug. In return she got her face thoroughly licked "clean".

"And it's not really like we've been keeping the jokes secret from each other. Everyone always owns up quick so they can get the credit." Laughing, Kakashi stroked the dog's soft fur.

"Oh well. We're leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow. Maybe when we get back she'll have found something else to obsess over."

"I'll leave Pakkun with her." Kakashi stopped talking and looked at the dog. "Have you picked out a name yet? She's what… seven months old or something?"

"I like 'Puppy'. It's cute. And she's a little dog so she'll always look 'puppyish'."

Kakashi laughed. "Okay, I'll quit bringing it up. But you do realize that Itachi considers the dogs to be a mind control device planted on us by Suzu. He says it causes undo emotionalism, an odd compulsion to speak in a falsetto voice and a desire to spend copious amounts of money at pet stores which he thinks are all owned by Suzu as well."

"He's just jealous because Nami's new puppy growled at him when he barked at it." Sakura tried to suppress her laughter and failed. The elder Uchiha had been a little pissed off when the dog wouldn't stop barking and had decided to bark back at it. The puppy, who was male, took it the wrong way and started growling. Apparently, whatever Itachi had said in "dog-speak" was very insulting. It had taken a couple weeks before the dog would let him touch it again. Not to mention Nami was mad at him for picking on a poor defenseless animal. Resulting in Itachi spending copious amounts of money at the jewelry store to make it up to her, which made him also wonder if Suzu owned that store as well. And what did he buy at the jewelry store?

"The little diamond and ruby studded collar he bought the dog sure put Nami in a good mood." Kakashi smiled.

"Yeah, well, don't you be spending that much money on something like that for Puppy. The little rhinestones look just fine on her." Sakura smiled as she fingered the small collar.

"Don't worry. My bank account doesn't look anything like theirs so we're safe."

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Kakashi and Sakura left for their honeymoon. A nice tropical resort in the southern part of Wind country, near where Naruto and Hinata had gone a few months earlier.

Puppy woke up and strolled around the house, not finding the pink or white two-legged thingies that always scratched her head. Pouting she went to the living room to lay in a patch of sunlight.

"Ah! There you are. Awake at last. You did very well with that last trick. They were running all over the place trying to find out what was wrong with the ceiling." A shadow fell over the small dog, blocking her view of the sun as she looked up, happy again.

"This time, I have an even more irritating trick we can play on them. The best thing is, even though you'll be doing it, they'll never figure it out." The two walked out of the living room and into the kitchen.

'That'll teach them to leave me to puppy-sit. What do they think I am, anyway?' He thought to himself.

The End

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I finished a story! Yeah! Next week will be an epilogue set a few years in the future. I'm not sure about a sequel, though, because I'm still writing the other story (which I started before this one) and it's really hard to do two stories at once (I also have to work full time). I really think this story suffered at times because of that. I might do a series of one-shots as things occur to me, though. I like the characters I created and I'm writing as practice anyway so I can become an author. I'm not very good at writing romance, though, even though I'm a girl XD. But then again, Kakashi isn't really the kind of person to show his feelings or get all mushy so that made it even harder.

If you're interested my other story is about Itachi's childhood (4 – 13) and follows canon for the most part (not exact of course). It's an adventure instead of a romance (he's just a kid) although when does have a girlfriend when he gets older.

Please review!


	20. Chapter 20 Epilogue

Hi all! The epilogue is here and the end is nigh.

Thanks for all the reviews and fav's! I glad you enjoy the story, I had fun writing it.

Disclaimer: Kakashi is owned by Sakura.

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Epilogue

Five years had passed, rather eventfully, for the former roommates of the Casino Town hotel. A reunion of sorts had been in the making for the last two years and finally, as the friends gathered in their old apartment in the penthouse suite of the hotel, the reunion was finally happening.

One of the biggest changes was the fact that there were toddlers running around the large living room, happily screeching and rolling around on the carpet. Several small dogs ran around as well, barking at the small children and trying to avoid being trampled.

Of course, some things were still the same. Deidara and Temari still didn't want to talk about marriage, Kisame enjoyed his bachelorhood and working at the pool, Kabuto was still a master chef and Sai was rated the best bartender in Casino Town three times in a row.

The apartment did have some new additions to its list of "reformed" criminals. The two shrine maidens who had left claiming to be Mist kunoichi were now permanent residents. Their con act had not gone unnoticed by Lady Suzu after all. Of course, Kabuto was pleased and, well, the two women weren't exactly unhappy either. Jiraiya was happy to see them as well, although he remembered their "ghost-dispelling" abilities and stayed away from them.

Sakura and Kakashi had been coming to the hotel once a year to vacation, but this was the first time they brought their children. The four-year-old boy, Obito, had white hair like his father and an odd habit of being serious, then suddenly laughing. The three-year-old girl, Rin, also had white hair and had started to show signs of having inherited her mother's perfect chakra control. She had amazed everyone the day before they left for vacation by walking up the wall.

Naruto and Hinata had one boy, two-years-old, blond like his father and eyes like his mother. The boy's temperament was more like Hinata and he tended to be cautious about doing anything new. However, right now all that was forgotten as he pushed a toy ox-cart across the floor making engine noises with his lips.

Sasuke and Uran had been the first to have children, as promised. Their four-year-old boy was a couple months older than Obito. They also had a three-year-old boy and a ten-month-old girl.

Itachi and Nami had the biggest surprise, though. Triplets. Three boys who would be three in one month. They then had twins, two girls who were one-year-old.

Kisame was, of course, shocked. The sight of his ex-partner changing diapers and mixing up formula for baby-bottles was almost more than he could handle. Breaking down in laughter he found himself fifteen minutes later holding a fourteen-month-old girl in his arms with a baby bottle inserted in her mouth. Itachi was the one laughing now. Of course, Sai, the self-designated photographer for the gathering, had taken pictures.

The apartment hadn't changed a lot. The furniture and TV were all different, having been replaced over the years due to wear and tear. But still…

"It's so much like it was back then," Sakura said quietly. "I almost expect to see myself walk out of the hallway on my way to the photo shoot or go down to work in the infirmary."

"Yeah." Kakashi was feeling the same thing. "Things were getting pretty wild back then. At least we have Tsunade off our backs now that she had all these kids to spoil."

"Why aren't you two married yet?" Naruto asked Deidara and Temari, who jumped a foot when they heard the question. "Why are you so jumpy?"

Sakura looked at Temari closely. She had been leaning against Deidara half asleep. "Temari, is there something you want to say?" She gave Temari a sideways glance and a big smile.

"Yeah." Temari suddenly sat straight up. "Get out of my way I have to throw up!" She ran into the hallway and they heard the bathroom door slam shut.

Everyone's eyes turned to Deidara, who was blushing. "I'm too old for this." He mumbled under his breath.

"What? Didn't hear that! Speak up!" Kisame smirked.

"I said it's not my fault!" Deidara yelled.

"It sure as hell is your fault!" Temari yelled from the bathroom.

"How can she yell and throw up at the same time?" Sai asked in his usual monotone.

"Get married, have kids. You'll find out." Sasuke answered, looking cautiously at Uran. She had made an art of the barf-and-yell. Although, Sakura had also been rather good at it as well.

Coming back into the room Temari resumed her seat next Deidara. "I…um… the doctor says it's a girl." She looked down at the floor. "We're still trying to pick out a name."

"You can't be more than three months along, you have plenty of time." Sakura laughed. She remembered that while Temari was feisty she also had a tendency to be overly serious at times.

"And you don't have to have a name right away even after the baby comes. Just relax and let it come to you." Nami suggested.

"That's easy for you to say." Itachi sighed. "You were freaking out when the third boy came out because we though you were only having twins."

"Well your suggestion for a name was just stupid." Nami argued.

Itachi countered, "It was a great idea. 'Hey-you' is an excellent name."

"Yeah but for all the kids?"

"That's the brilliance of it, give them all the same name then when you call it, all five come running. Perfect planning!" Itachi was grinning, pleased with himself.

Nami shook her head. Itachi's logic was so simple sometimes that there was just no counter-argument. All you could do was either go along with it, or pretend it never happened.

"So you still having two more kids?" One of the fake shrine maidens asked, remembering Nami's own version of twisted logic that seven children was a lucky number to have.

"We'll consider that in a few years. Having so many kids in diapers at once was difficult. We had to hire a nanny to help full time. Luckily a cousin of Uran took the job. She didn't want to come with us for the reunion though. She said she gets motion sick when she rides in ox-carts."

Deidara looked at Sakura. "Why don't your kids have pink hair?"

"Don't know." Sakura answered matter-of-factly. "My parents think it's a recessive gene and in order for that to happen Kakashi would also have to have the gene before pink hair would appear again."

"Oh. Magic." Deidara re-explained it in much more simple terms.

Temari buried her face in her hands. "He said the same thing when the doctor explained why I was pregnant."

"Brain not working, Deidara?" Kisame teased.

"Brain? What brain? I've been stuck with you guys all these years. Besides, I never studied science and all that. I'm an artist!" Deidara sighed.

"It's okay sweety." Temari patted him on the head. "I'll take care of all the thinking and you just sit around looking cute."

"Now we're talking!" Deidara gave everyone a big smile and hugged his girlfriend.

"What about you, Naruto?" Kabuto spoke up for the first time. "Should you and Hinata have more than one kid?"

"Huh?" He had been spacing out, watching the kids tumble around on the carpet.

Hinata, who had been quietly sitting next to him spoke up. "We are going to wait a couple more years. I've enacted several policy changes in the clan and I need to solidify my position as chief before taking another maternity leave. Last time I was out a couple of the elders tried to have me dismissed from my position."

Kisame scowled. "I hate clans. That's the kind of shit I remember from mine. Glad I never went back."

Naruto spoke up. "Hinata really shined that day when she told those two idiots off. I've never seen her so mad in my life. They were quaking in their sandals by the time she got done with them. Little Minato was only one month old and he was quiet the whole time, like he was watching and knew what was going on. He's such a strange kid sometimes."

Sakura laughed at that. The young boy seemed to be the opposite of Naruto in a lot of ways. He was still very young, though, so really he could turn out any way.

"So how are you two getting around all that clan stuff?" Kisame asked Itachi and Sasuke.

Sasuke spoke up, "We have weekly meetings to discuss issues and write out rules and stuff."

"They are very productive. We have years to plan. It's a lot of work." Itachi finished.

"They get together and drink once week at the local bar." Uran re-explained the Uchiha clan secret meetings.

"It's very hush-hush. Clan affairs. Don't tell anyone." Nami whispered.

Sakura laughed. "The Hokage agreed that the meetings are very productive. She's attended several of them herself."

"Sounds like you two could do with a little adult supervision in the clan building business." Kisame laughed.

"Believe me," Nami was also laughing, "there are a lot of adults attending the clan meetings and the extra supervision is not helping."

"Oh, come on." Kakashi smiled, squinting his eyes in the process, "The last meeting was very productive. We agreed that the Uchiha clan should only have a main branch, a side branch and a party branch. Just those three."

"I can't remember why we agreed on it, but I wrote it down on the top secret scroll and then passed it around for everyone to see." Sasuke explained.

"It was very important." Itachi nodded his head in agreement.

Sakura laughed again. "Your kids are going to think you're insane when they take over and read all that stuff."

"Yeah, well, it makes more sense when you're drunk. Hence the party branch. Their job is to interpret the rules for the other two branches." Sasuke smirked.

"Wait." Sakura blinked her eyes a couple times. "That almost makes sense. But how could that be, I haven't had any alcohol yet?"

"Exactly!" Itachi said confidently, downing a shot of rice wine.

Puppy came trotting over and Sakura picked her up and scratched her head. The little dog started panting happily. "She was so happy to come on the trip. Although she missed Pakkun, I think. Those two are so close!"

"Whenever I come home from a mission I let Pakkun out to play for a while and Puppy goes crazy. It's amazing. And Pakkun loves to dog-sit Puppy when we leave for a few days." Kakashi had never told Sakura that Pakkun was the one, all those years ago, who had taught Puppy to bark at the ceiling. He found it too amusing.

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Kakashi and Sakura took a late stroll through the hotel's garden. The bright desert stars glittered over them, refusing to dim even for the bright lights of Casino Town. The smell of jasmine was strong and Sakura stopped to bury her nose in the shrub and breathe deeply. The small white flowers were cool against her face.

"We have to get some jasmine for our yard." Sakura sighed.

"Yeah." Kakashi was much more interested in looking at his wife than the shrub. "We'll get ten."

She laughed. "Keep looking at me like that and we'll end up with another kid."

"Hmmm." He pulled her up against him, caressing her back with one hand and lacing her hair through the fingers of his other hand. "This is where it all began, Sakura." Bending down he caught her lips with his. Sakura leaned into him, placing her hands on his shoulders to brace herself.

She had been surprised when they had first married at how passionate Kakashi could be. He seemed to repress his feeling, but when he let them out… Sakura was amazed and delighted at how he could make her feel. When he held her like he was now, the rest of the world ceased to exist and there were no problems. Nothing to worry about.

The kiss ended and Sakura looked up into Kakashi's eye (the Sharingan eye was covered by an eye patch). The emotions it held were visible only to her and she reached up to touch his face.

"Let's go back up to the room." He whispered in her ear and they slowly walked back to the lobby.

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Lady Suzu came the next day and was ecstatic at all the kids. She was even happier to show them pictures of her new grandson and granddaughter. Both her daughters had recently had children, and they were living in the capital again with their husbands so she got to see them frequently.

"It's so wonderful to see you all again!" She clapped her hands together then gave everyone a hug. "I've been very busy with my rehabilitation program and Konan and I have been working on similar programs in other countries. Everything is going so well! Of course Itachi, here, is keeping tabs on everything so I'm sure you know everything."

Itachi smirked, "Yes, Lady Suzu. You are one busy lady. Konan and Pein have been very cooperative in the last five years. They even send me monthly reports." The reports were always verified by Itachi's spies as true. It was a very strange situation. Their operation kept coming up as legitimate, but that only made some people in Konoha more suspicious. And, of course, since Itachi now had children as well as nephews and a niece he was pretty committed to keeping Konoha safe.

"Oh, and Sasuke and Naruto! How are your teams doing?" Lady Suzu had hired both of the teams at various times for jobs so she could meet them and had taken a liking to all the teenagers.

Sasuke laughed and Naruto explained. "They became Chuunin three years ago, as you know, and have been studying in the last few months to take the Jounin test. Tsunade jokes that instead of two three-man squads she has one six-man squad."

Kakashi laughed at that as well. The kids were as close as the rookie 9 had been over ten years ago. Then again, maybe that was fifteen years ago.

"They also hang out a lot with Team Lee, unfortunately." Sasuke said, frowning a little. The team led by Rock Lee had three very industrious Chuunin who were very good at making money at various shady, but legal schemes. Five years ago it had been selling pictures of a scantily clad and wet Sakura. Five months ago it had been selling lottery tickets for a popular music device. They made a five hundred percent profit and ANBU – Kakashi that is – had been forced to investigate the venture. It was completely legal, somehow, and Tsunade asked her assistants to revisit the regulations.

"You make it sound like they are planning on corrupting your kids." Kakashi laughed at his former student's serious expression.

"I just don't want them to get into trouble, is all." Sasuke sighed.

Lady Suzu smiled. "Well, if they ever do get into trouble, my hotel is always here for them. A few months here and they'll be back to normal!"

"Assuming they were ever normal to begin with." Sasuke said under his breath. Everyone heard of course and laughed at him. When it came to his team he was very overprotective.

"How is your team progressing, Sakura?" Lady Suzu still had a soft spot for the pink haired woman and enjoyed treating her like a daughter.

"They are now fully qualified medics. I'm getting a new team in a couple months. Tsunade and the council were very happy at the results of the test group. Having Genin start out training as medics and ninja worked better than everyone thought it would. It was something Tsunade tried to push through when she was my age, but no one would approve it. Now, it's a success. We have four teams of medics available. And every year we pull in more candidates." Sakura's excitement was easy to see as she spoke. The additional medics had saved many lives and allowed Konoha to accept medical-based missions, increasing cash flow and good-will.

Kakashi smiled, proud of his wife's accomplishments. "Other hidden villages are starting similar programs. It's great to see people thinking of medical jutsu as a primary focus of learning instead of something one learns later. My team, when I first became a ninja, contained a medic who had trained at a young age. That was unusual back then, but lucky for me. That was why we named our daughter after her."

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That evening Lady Suzu arranged for several babysitters to watch the children and everyone gathered in the bar. Sai was working, having refused to take a day off. He loved his job and was determined to serve his friends.

"The perfect hostess attends to her guests as if royalty had deigned to descend upon her humble home. Knowing that the reputation of both her husband and her own mother depend upon her housekeeping skills she endeavors to put one hundred percent into everything she does." Sai quoted a phrase when asked why he wasn't joining them.

"But you're a guy. And where did you get that quote from?" Naruto's look of shock at Sai referring to himself as a woman, albeit metaphorically, was disturbing.

"It's from a hundred-year-old cook book. Since you guys were coming I wanted to make sure I was a good host, so I read it."

Well, it was clear to everyone that Sai was either completely insane or well on his way.

Sai gave everyone a big smile. "I even bought an apron!" He held up a white, frilly old-fashioned apron, then looped the top over his head and tied it around his waste.

Naruto lost it. He spit out the sake he had been in the process of swallowing then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably.

"This is a joke, right?" Sasuke was trying very hard to keep himself together.

"What? You don't like it?" Sai frowned. "The book said a good apron, properly ironed and spritzed with fresh spring water is a requirement for the perfect hostess."

"You are not a woman!" Sasuke yelled.

"Well, not yet, but I know this doctor…" Sai didn't get to finish. Sasuke screamed. Actually screamed and hit his head on the table. Naruto was still laughing uncontrollably. Itachi, Kisame, Kabuto and Deidara were sitting with shocked expressions on their faces. Kakashi, was snickering. Sakura was wondering how much the apron cost and if it was in one of the Icha Icha books, and if so which one, and what kind of shoes she should wear with it.

Suzu was wondering why everyone took Sai so seriously all the time, then laughed. "It appears, Sai, that they think you are considering having an operation to remove your manhood."

Sai blinked. "I am." The room went silent and everyone stared at him. "NOT! You guys fall for the stupidest jokes!" Sai quickly ran for the back of the bar as Naruto and Sasuke took off after him. They pretended to chase each other for a few minutes before Sai held up a large bottle of Sake as a peace offering.

Naruto and Sasuke stared at the bottle, then smiled, accepting the offering. Sai took off the apron and started to stuff it under the bar.

"Are you going to get rid of it?" Sakura spoke up. Kakashi looked at her in surprise, visions of book 5, page 97 were racing through his mind.

"Oh. You can have it." Sai threw it at her and she caught it.

Kakashi reached over to touch it, but Sakura pulled it out his reach. "Not until your birthday." She whispered as she kissed him on the cheek near his ear.

"But that's four months from now." He whispered back as he kissed her in the same spot.

"Yeah." Sakura sighed. "Waiting is fun, isn't it?"

"Is there something about that apron we should know about?" Naruto scrunched his face up, deep in thought.

"Uh… Jiraiya?" Hinata blushed as she called the old perverts name.

"Yes there is Naruto, my man!" The ghost jumped up out of an empty sake bottle.

"What?" The blond asked curiously.

"Do you even _read_ my books?" Jiraiya frowned.

"No. They're boring." Naruto deadpanned.

"Then quit disturbing me!" Jiraiya jumped into a full sake bottle this time.

"Don't worry, Naruto, I'll explain it later." Hinata whispered to her husband.

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The reunion ended on a high note, a few days later, with everyone agreeing to do it again in three or four years (but no more than five). Kisame had also been tasked with the job finding a wife for Sai. After all, he was definitely out of control and needed someone to kick him in the head occasionally. Or so thought Naruto and Sasuke. Everyone else said they would feel sorry for any woman Sai married, he would probably drive her insane. Kisame decided it might be a fun way to annoy his roommates and said he would do it anyway.

Sakura and Kakashi, Obito and Rin and Puppy traveled back to Konoha on foot. Kakashi carried his son and Sakura carried her daughter. Puppy was summoned to wherever it was Pakkun lived. The journey back was fairly enjoyable, except for the occasional tantrum from two bored toddlers who insisted on frequent potty breaks, play breaks, naps and, for some reason, food breaks. Kakashi joked that they would have fewer potty breaks if they cut back on the food. Obito took exception to that since daddy took as many potty breaks as he did. Rin said it would be easier if they just went potty in their pants, causing Sakura to panic. She declared that potty breaks would be doubled and anyone caught peeing their pants would be punished. Kakashi laughed at her, and Obito and Rin looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"That was a joke, wasn't it?" Sakura said sheepishly.

"Yep. And you fell for it." Kakashi laughed.

"Mommy! We wouldn't do that! We big kids!" Rin said, smiling.

"Of course you are!" Sakura hugged the two children and kissed them on the top of the head.

"Sakura! I've finally found you!" A man jumped out of the brush, holding an old, tattered bingo book in his hand. He was wearing tattered clothes, a full beard, and no shoes. "I've been traveling for years! First I was shipwrecked, then captured by cannibals, then got caught up in a gathering of pirate kings, then held in a dungeon, until I escaped in a coffin, then I died, then I came back to life, then I traveled to the edge of the world. Not necessarily in that order." He paused for a minute, looking into the shocked faces of the family sitting around the campfire in front of him. "Can I have your autograph?"

The end

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I hope you liked the last bit of the story! I'll probably do short stories or one-shots of the characters. I like them too much to just abandon them, and I'm supposed to be practicing writing.

Thank-you for reading the whole thing and a special thanks for those who reviewed (although I'm not as picky about reviews as others, I still really enjoyed reading them).


	21. Sequel Posted

Sequel Posted

Hey all, I've posted a one-shot based on "Distraction". It's called "Down the Well". Add me to your "Author Alerts" to get notifications when more stories are posted.

Oh, and thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much!


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